British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,821

I can't stand "Can I get" as in "Can I get a cheeseburger and a coffee" rather than "I'd like" or "may I have".

It drives me insane.

Also, when people say things like "You remind me of Hugo the Hefferlump. You won't know Hugo the Hefferlump. He stood as a Lib Dem candidate in a suburb of Bratislava on 6 February 1923 coming in second. Maybe." If it's only a maybe, why do they mention Hugo the Hefferlump in the first place?

"Parc's" not trendy.
It's French.

Season implies it takes part during winter, spring, summer or autumn (definitely not fall)
What if they overlap?

Centre looks a bit French too.

Thats probably why they spelt it "center", so as not to make it appear French, thus giving people the impression that the food might be good and the staff rude.
Whereas, of course, it's the other way round.

You guys know the meaning of suffering.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 5th April 2022, 5:04 PM

I can't stand "Can I get" as in "Can I get a cheeseburger and a coffee" rather than "I'd like" or "may I have".

It drives me insane.

So that explains it then.

The verb To Have is slowly being destroyed from the English language.

Quote: Chappers @ 5th April 2022, 8:47 PM

So that explains it then.

The verb To Have is slowly being destroyed from the English language.

Absolutely.

There you get it in a nutshell.

So does my pet squirrel Gerald.

Obviously I don't mention that to the Womens Institute.

Not at least when I get them round for my afternoon tea and crumpets.

Quote: Lazzard @ 5th April 2022, 5:11 PM

"Parc's" not trendy.
It's French.

Like I give a shit

I took the family one year. The most expensive holiday I've ever had.
Everything you looked at £100.
Dad can we go on the canoe's - £100.
Can we hire some bicycles for the day £100.
Breakfast in the cafe £100
You get the picture.

As JmI would say "You cannot be serious!!" £100?!?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 6th April 2022, 8:37 AM

I took the family one year. The most expensive holiday I've ever had.
Everything you looked at £100.
Dad can we go on the canoe's - £100.
Can we hire some bicycles for the day £100.
Breakfast in the cafe £100
You get the picture.

Its OK if you take your own food and do nothing.
Much like being at home.
But seriously, it is bloody expensive - an all-in on the Spanish coast is cheaper.
You can spot the hardened CP pros - day in, day out, they sit in the same spot in the "Dome' (the only 'free' bit) - on their own folding chairs - eating sandwiches they made - a deck of distinctly damp playing cards to while away the endless hours - then spend the rest of the time telling the kids they can't go ion the zip wire.
Nightmare.

The dome was ok and the warm water river thing was good fun (for a while) but I'm sure that although it's the only free thing there, it's time limited.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 6th April 2022, 9:31 AM

I'm sure that although it's the only free thing there, it's time limited.

Do they call your ticket in after your time's up, or something?
Didn't frequent it much when we went, to be honest - I found the lingering smell of 1000 feet a little off-putting.

I've remembered it now. You booked your time slot and got a ticket like on the tube.
The auto turnstiles opened with your valid ticket and you could probably stay as long as you liked - but you couldn't leave and come back again later.

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