British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,371

Sergei Lavrov was our local clergyman when I was a young boy. He would lead our school assembly once a month. His stories were always very interesting what with him having been both a senior water engineer and a bible missionary in Congo-Congo Land. And on occasions he would even be joined by the first of his five wives, Hattie Jacques. It is just such a shame how he is now.

I also knew President Xi - when he was still a woman. I was about nine and we had never heard of a sex change before. Then he was Dolly Trotter who travelled regularly on a skateboard to my local sweet shop. She owned it and it was where I bought my daily curly-wurly. It really is such a shame how he is now.

I suppose I must have been about 12 when I met Kim Jong-Un. He worked in the same open plan office as my father. I met a lot of Dad's colleagues. Lembit Opik, Frank Carson, Antony and the Johnsons, Gina Lollobrigida. But he was the one who was kind enough to take me rowing on Earlswood Lakes and he also accompanied me on my first of 127 ascents in the Himalayas. I find it almost impossible to believe how he is now.

Scandinavian women coming to Rome are reminded to put their clocks back. 763 years.

In light of the Oscars situation, it's nice to know that you can go up to somebody, hit them in front of millions of witnesses then go back to your seat completely unchallenged. Not only that, you will then be presented with the most prestigious award of the evening and given longer than every other act onstage that night to grovel.

I like Will Smith but he behaved like an unpleasant entitled prick.

Fancy defending your wife's honour and integrity. THE PRICK.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 28th March 2022, 3:47 PM

Fancy defending your wife's honour and integrity. THE PRICK.

The joke wasn't good or particularly nice, but last time I checked we don't hit people for bad jokes. It's just not cricket.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 28th March 2022, 3:47 PM

Fancy defending your wife's honour and integrity. THE PRICK.

It's 2022 not 1822. Women do not need a man to thump someone because they got offended.

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So you'll all be happy for me to say something horrible about or to your wife.
Got it.

Will Smith pissed himself when he cracked it.

Didn't Ricky Gervais used to present this thing?

If everyone he offended punched him out he would be in a f**king wheel chair by now

Quote: chipolata @ 28th March 2022, 3:21 PM

I like Will Smith but he behaved like an unpleasant entitled prick.

Of course this is the most important news today. Much more important than Ukraine.

Who really cares about these self-centred ego-maniacs in Hollywood.? What really is the point of the Oscars?

So what happened in the rest of the Oscars who won what?
I know Will Smith won best action short film because I've seen it so often on Facebook today, but that's all the coverage I've seen

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 28th March 2022, 6:57 PM

So you'll all be happy for me to say something horrible about or to your wife.
Got it.

To be fair my wife said she felt insulted by Will Smith earlier today
But I had warned her not to watch Wild Wild West

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