Not sure about this one at all. Let me know what you make of it.
EXT. GARDEN – DAY
A FAMILY ENJOY A BBQ ON A GORGEOUS SUMMER’S DAY.
MUM:
(TOASTING)
To Darren. Congratulations on your grades, son! Four A stars!
DAD:
Well done, son, you earned them.
DARREN:
Thanks a lot.
A BABY STARTS CRYING.
DARREN:
What’s that?
MUM:
What’s it sound like?
DARREN:
Yeah, but where’s it coming from?
MUM AND DAD SHRUG. DARREN FOLLOWS THE NOISE TO A HEDGE. HE PARTS THE BRANCHES.
A NEST. IN IT, A NAKED BABY BOY.
DARREN:
What the f**k?
DAD:
Language!
DARREN:
Why is there a baby in this hedge?
MUM:
Because that’s where the mother decided to build the nest.
DARREN:
What?
DAD:
Just leave it alone, will you?
DARREN:
It’s a baby! In a hedge!
MUM:
Yes. And don’t touch it. The mother will reject it if you get your hands on it.
DARREN:
This is insane!
TAKING GREAT CARE, HE LIBERATES THE BABY FROM THE HEDGE.
DAD:
Now you’ve done it.
DARREN TURNS. A WOMAN HAS APPEARED RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. SHE HAS A PRAM AND LOOKS THOROUGHLY PISSED OFF. SHE SWIVELS ON HER HEEL AND MARCHES AWAY.
DARREN:
But…
DAD:
Happy are you?
MUM:
Now you’ve got a baby to raise.
DAD:
Four A stars but no common sense.
