British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,366

Good. But truth is almost impossible to find.
My daughter's are grown with children and they believe the end of mankind is drawing ever nearer.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th March 2022, 12:43 PM

But truth is almost impossible to find.
.

Increasingly hard, but not impossible.

Quote: a plate @ 13th March 2022, 2:17 AM

You're lucky! I met Arabella once, but she insisted that we sat at opposite ends of a gigantic oval table. I don't know how long it was, but the table was 13ft.

As for Keir Lammy, you're right about him being "obsessed with celebrity", because he went fly-fishing while topless, with that bloke from Dad's Army. I don't know what his name is, because Keir said "don't tell him", then immediately started naming random fish that he'd caught.

Eh?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th March 2022, 12:43 PM

My daughter's are grown with children and they believe the end of mankind is drawing ever nearer.

Philosophically it is, unless we live forever. If they've diarised doomsday I can see why you maybe concerned. Isn't the real danger ignoring long term issues and pretending they have no effect simply because we're heavily invested in fossil fuel (Bush, Putin) or the production of concreate (Trump) ?

My solution to this crisis is very simple.

All contributors to this forum should write a comedy series about a real Russian President who becomes a fictional Russian President.

This needs to be so brilliant that once the scripts arrive in the Kremlin, Putin will decide that he wants to be the person who plays the fictional one rather than continuing to be the real one.

Yes, yes, ooh, ooh, and then what we must do is send 500,000 of our lizard races to Moscow. Make this into law. People like George Osbornes and Tony Blairs and Prince Andrews and Megan Markles. Just keep sending jets over to there with these people in them so that they are flooding up Red Squares. While most of them will be shot, there will be a few who manages to get under Russias and Ukraines to put four wheels on them and then we can wheel thems to a nearby space station owned by Elon Musks. He will send them into what would have previously been regarded as - wrongly in my view - unnecessary orbit. To the dark webs of the black holes. Yes. What I have done - in the old days the Soviets used to put on ballet dancers to Swan Lakes as soon as things went wrong and so as not give informations out. I have one of me doing Wilson Keppel and Betty's Sandcastles Dance which we can sneak in via the carrier pigeons. So as to show to the peoples of Russias things have very much changed and they will never be the same again.

Nazanin free at last

I hope nobody else in her position goes to that shit hole of a country and puts themselves and their families through what had happened to her..

She was ransomed as simple as. Before the Ayatollah's firm took over the Shah had ordered 1500 armed vehicles designed to turn on the people . So we kept the money and never sent the tanks. As much as I detest the Iranian regime you can se why they want the dough back given what it was intended for.

Australia grows lots of wheat but we sell it all and have to buy ours from..............Russia.
No bread for us next week.

Quote: psmith @ 16th March 2022, 7:47 PM

Australia grows lots of wheat but we sell it all and have to buy ours from..............Russia.
No bread for us next week.

Depending upon the outcome in Ukraine, we could be looking at a regional famine - or possibly a global famine. They say that war, famine, and pandemics always go together, so the conditions are ripe. My country produces enough food to feed itself, but this is a global issue, and countries like China will jump in and try to buy as much as they can. Prices will continue to climb, and if things get bad enough we might see future conflicts based upon food scarcity.

I hope Putin chokes on a sandwich made from Ukrainian wheat.

I could do with losing a pound or two.

P&O have suspended all channel crossings as they intend to make a major announcement. looks like all unionised workers will be sacked and replaced with cheap foreign labour. The company is 40% owned by the Russians. The rest is owned by the Arabs, so it looks like we really are an island now and god knows how much disruption this will bring on top of the shit we have now.
To be honest I would genuinely struggle to tell you of anything that is going right at this time in our history.

Image

I've no idea what that concoction at the top is but it looks most unappetising (I'm assuming it's supposed to be eaten?).

I thought it was post eating, after the stomach ejected it.

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