RIGHT! Even more of a f**king disastrous start than last year, with me being the only twat to play Kane it seems - clearly all and sundry read something I didn't, as I picked my team with rose-tinted glasses.
Anyway, throwing caution to the wind with a dash of shit or bust, I've played my Wild Card even earlier than last year, and chucking me lot into a very strong mid-field, and f**k the strikers.
I'm determined not to spend the whole season fart arsing about in the bottom three like last time.
I rung Lukaku, and told him "Sorry mate, you've left it a bit too late to make me team. Besides you were bit of a poisoned chalice last time I gave you a chance", and as for the FPL Scout foaming at the mouth over Unlukaku - he can go and shove his willy up his bum. cleaned that up in case the vicar logs on
I will now sit back and watch Romelu take the FPL by storm and make me eat my words. Wouldn't surprise me in the least, as I have an uncanny knack of doing/saying the wrong thing, and looking a prat.