British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,309

Quote: DaButt @ 29th July 2021, 10:17 AM

Just as I'd expected, the UK decided to let vaccinated Americans travel there without quarantine - four days before we were supposed to fly, and after we'd canceled our trip. Oh well, France, Germany, Austria, and Czech Republic, here we come. Maybe.

Can't you persuade the cabin crew to let you out of the door with a parachute over the UK?

If you let us know when you reckon that will be (roughly) then we may keep an eye out for you.

Today, there is no news. The media are scrabbling for stories to frighten us with
Brexit ok, virus not killing everybody, supermarket shelves full, holidays on the horizon, weather as expected and UK business on the up.

My local papers headline this morning 'Pensioner fined for parking on double yellow lines and blocking entry to lorry park'
I even read it. He ignored the fine and it doubled and trebled but somebody started a gofundme and paid it for him and he got extra cash too. Thrilling stuff.

Apparently an Indian chef has said that eating with a knife and fork is racist and you should use your fingers. A bit difficult for gravy and custard.

Quote: Chappers @ 30th July 2021, 7:45 PM

Apparently an Indian chef has said that eating with a knife and fork is racist and you should use your fingers. A bit difficult for gravy and custard.

How.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 30th July 2021, 11:49 PM

How.

Not that sort of Indian (CHEF).

Oops :$

Quote: Chappers @ 30th July 2021, 7:45 PM

Apparently an Indian chef has said that eating with a knife and fork is racist and you should use your fingers.

Of course, that wasn't what was said.
But the hacks certainly know how to press your buttons.

:

Quote: Lazzard @ 31st July 2021, 10:20 AM

Of course, that wasn't what was said.
But the hacks certainly know how to press your buttons.

:)

Over 2000 American soldiers have died in Afghanistan alone

Their families must now be thinking that they died for nothing

The Taliban will control the country in a matter of months

Absolute waste of time

Good news for a change.
An asteroid is on course to hit the planet earth but....
It has that many precious metals within it that those that survive will all be billionaires

Quote: lofthouse @ 7th August 2021, 1:22 PM

Over 2000 American soldiers have died in Afghanistan alone

Their families must now be thinking that they died for nothing

The Taliban will control the country in a matter of months

Absolute waste of time

There were a few British casualties too you know.

After charging Trump's company with 'sweeping and audacious' tax fraud last month, they're coming up with lots more by association. As the Donald said "Drain that swamp". Mind you that's according to a Trump supporting paper, so it might be bias.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9877185/Prosecutors-evidence-Allen-Weisselbergs-son-Barry-avoided-taxes-living-Trump-apartment.html

This is how they caught Al Capone. :D

Talking of Capone

Trump had many dealings with powerful mobsters years ago in the course of his development and casino and real estate businesses

Mobile phone roaming charges are back.
Winning!

If you want to go to Europe - it's a few quid on your mobile bill - and that's only if you renew your contract or take out a new one.
With free wifi areas you can call free on the various apps there are.

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