A few days ago, I sent off for an 'England Football Team Euro 2020 Commemorative Calligraphy Set'. It arrived this morning and guess what. It's missing three pens!
Tell us a joke Page 261
What do you call a biro that went to the hairdresser? Sean Penn.
Who is the most Nervous of all the Jedi's
Panakin Skywalker
When I watch Lady Gaga's Paparazzi video, I don't know whether to jerk off or shit myself. It's touch and go.
Did you know The Monkees wrote "Sweet Caroline"? Oh, wait . . .
I bought a wall planner today
It said best to have four for each room
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 18th July 2021, 7:20 PMI bought a wall planner today
It said best to have four for each room
Ah but what do you put on them though?
Priest works out how to get a kid into bed. Sweet!
What's smelly, sounds like shit and gives priests a boner? Greta Thunberg.
What do you call a singer with four dogs? Sporty.
At last I went go to my favourite Yorkshire pub.
I timed it just right too, it was Happy Minute
Nik Kershaw denies incest rumours. 'I won't let the son go down on me.'
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 21st July 2021, 7:42 AMWhat do you call a singer with four dogs? Sporty.
She was on some shit mid morning prog. my wife had on this morning, talking about them getting together and taking the Glastonbury legends slot.
Good Joke 
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 21st July 2021, 10:57 AMShe was on some shit mid morning prog. my wife had on this morning, talking about them getting together and taking the Glastonbury legends slot.
Good Joke
Thank you very much. I need somebody with a human touch.
What's the difference between the Spice Girls and my mother's legs? The Spice Girls occasionally get back together.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 21st July 2021, 2:16 PMThank you very much. I need somebody with a human touch.
What's the difference between the Spice Girls and my mother's legs? The Spice Girls occasionally get back together.
There's nothing sacred with you is there, you naughty boy. She should put you over her knee and give you a good spanking.....................................go on, make summat of that, which you're bound to do.