Dig a hole and bury it.
Status report Page 6,097
Quote: chipolata @ 2nd April 2021, 2:37 PMDig a hole and bury it.
I don't have that energy at my age.
Quote: billwill @ 2nd April 2021, 7:41 PMTheres no more room for bodies in my garden.
The time is growing closer.
The pub just down the road has built decking and a marquee to comply with the outdoor regulations.
My beer buds are tingling.
Quote: chipolata @ 2nd April 2021, 2:37 PMDig a hole and bury it.
Or, much easier, use your shovel to chuck it into next door's garden?
Good morning,
Thank you for contacting the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) with your complaint about Highways England Company Ltd's 'Go Left' ad campaign.
We asked the ASA Council to look at the issues raised by yourself and others. After careful consideration, however, they have decided that no further action should be taken this time. Please find more information below.
The complaints
We received complaints about the following issues:
1. Complainants objected that the ads were irresponsible because they trivialised a serious subject.
Complainants objected that the ads were offensive because:
2. the use of cartoon-like characters and humour was insensitive to people who had died or lost loved ones as a result of breaking down on smart motorways. Some complainants felt that the image of two flies being squashed on a windscreen carried a resemblance to the injuries caused by road traffic collisions;
3. they were condescending and insulted the intelligence of viewers by instructing people to 'go left'.
Complainants objected that the ads posed a risk of harm because:
4. they caused anxiety and distress to those who had been traumatised by an accident on the motorway or to those who had lost loved ones in this way;
5. the advice given was likely to put lives at risk if followed because by moving into the left lane the vehicle would still be in a live lane of traffic but would be less visible to other drivers.
Complainants challenged whether the ads were misleading because:
6. the instructions given were not relevant to all scenarios of breaking down on a motorway, for example if the vehicle came to a complete halt in the middle of traffic with no time to get to an emergency area, as there are no hard shoulders on Smart Motorways;
7. one complainant felt that the video ads did not give a clear representation of the congestion and speed of motorways;
8. they did not take into account the fact that some drivers would not be able to climb over and exit the vehicle on the passenger side (e.g. disabled, older or larger people).
Our rules
Advertisements should contain nothing that is likely to mislead, cause serious or widespread offence, pose a risk of harm or be deemed irresponsible. We base our decisions on the content of the ad, when and where it appears, the audience and the type of product or service being advertised.
This article explains more about how we assess cases in this area https://www.asa.org.uk/news/bad-taste-or-offensive.html.
The ASA Council's decision
1-4. While Council acknowledged the concerns that the ads had taken a light-hearted approach to raising a serious issue, they noted that the purpose of the ads was to inform drivers of what they should do in the event of a breakdown on the motorway and considered that the advertiser had used a well-known, catchy tune as a way of getting the message across and making it memorable. Council understood that some complainants had personal reasons for objecting to the ads and acknowledged that the use of flies on a windscreen may have seemed insensitive, which they sympathised with; however, Council noted that the flies did not appear to be hurt in any of the ads and although the video ads showed them being knocked off of the windscreen by the wipers, they appeared to be unharmed at the end of those ads. Although Council appreciated that the humour used and specific characters chosen might be distasteful to some, they did not consider the ads to be irresponsible, likely to cause serious or widespread offence or pose a risk of harm for the reasons suggested.
5-8. Council noted that the ads either included a web link or asked people to search 'Go left' which led to further information about the advertiser's campaign and instructions of what to do in various motorway breakdown scenarios. While Council acknowledged that limited instructions were given in the ads themselves, they considered that there was sufficient information available on the Highways England website to enable drivers to know what to do if they broke down on a motorway. Although Council understood that there would be various factors involved in resolving a breakdown situation, they considered that the main instruction of 'go left' was intended as a first step instruction for keeping safe in these instances and therefore concluded that the ads were not likely to mislead and that they did not pose a risk of harm for the reasons suggested.
Action taken
We have made the advertiser aware of the issues that were brought to our attention in case they wish to take on-board the information provided when creating their ads in the future.
Although we won't take further action this time, we will keep a record of your complaint for reference in our future assessments. We will also take your complaint into account in our regular, proactive 'intelligence gathering' sweeps, where we analyse a range of information - including complaints made to us - to report on issues, even when they have not broken the advertising rules, that have caused concern.
We hope this helps to explain our decision, and thank you again for contacting us.
Yours sincerely,
Stephen, not Ben went for a haircut yesterday.
They were queuing round the street.
I saw a notice outside that said something like 'due to covid our prices have gone up'
Gone up! £30 from £10.
F**k that, I went and bought some clippers - for £30
Been watching Youtube videos since on how to cut your own hair with clippers. Hmmm
So far so good.
Just received notification that my final paper for my master's degree was accepted. Now what will I do with my time?
Well, went for yet another weekly check-up today, post my eye op. back in March, and there was me thinking he should be taking the stitches out of my eyeball sometime soon, via another op.(?). Nope - "Jam your head up against this chin/forehead guide, grit your teeth, keep dead still and I will take the stitches out now with a pair of tweezers" - GULP 
Anyway, he eventually managed to get all the stitches out, but it wasn't comfortable, and now I have a little trap door in the white of my eyeball that relieves the pressure and stabilises the glaucoma. Won't make my sight any better in that eye, but at least it won't get any worse, eventually blind.
Make sure the cat doesn't use it.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th April 2021, 4:19 PMWell, went for yet another weekly check-up today, post my eye op. back in March, and there was me thinking he should be taking the stitches out of my eyeball sometime soon, via another op.(?). Nope - "Jam your head up against this chin/forehead guide, grit your teeth, keep dead still and I will take the stitches out now with a pair of tweezers" - GULP
Anyway, he eventually managed to get all the stitches out, but it wasn't comfortable, and now I have a little trap door in the white of my eyeball that relieves the pressure and stabilises the glaucoma. Won't make my sight any better in that eye, but at least it won't get any worse, eventually blind.
Oh shit. I feel for you mate.
Yes,sounds horrible.
Thank you, friends. 
You know, it never ceases to amaze me at what they can do when the patient is not under a general anaesthetic, relying instead on a local, with the patient fully aware.
As long as you don't know what they are doing OR going to do. You just rely on it being an everyday operation to them and not ask too many questions.
The only time I was concerned was blurrily seeing the hypo needle injecting my eyeball after the initial liquid anaesthetic had taken affect and slightly feeling the needle when he was stitching the flap in place. I had to say to him "I can feel that". He apologised and put some more of the liquid one in my eye and all was OK - bit worrying at the time though.
What I want to know, is why dental work can't be like that.
My dentist is brilliant. Recently had one of the big front ones out and while I just felt the anesthetic jab the extraction was silent and painless. Mind you, for the monthly fee I'd expect her to do home visits to clean them, preferably naked 
Optometrist on a recent eye test said I'm developing cataracts but should be fine for a couple of years - now that I am actually sh***ing myself about
Quote: fasty @ 16th April 2021, 9:08 PMOptometrist on a recent eye test said I'm developing cataracts but should be fine for a couple of years - now that I am actually sh***ing myself about
Nooooooooooooo problem. I can tell you what they do if you like, as I asked the Doctor afterwards about how the get the old misty lens out and put a new plastic one in; but I find the less I know the better, as I've said previous.
They do not do both eyes at the same time.
Had cataract op. on same left eye about 5 years ago. It's just a bit weird, as they cover one eye while they operate on the other, which with various drops means you cannot actually see what is going on.
A nurse will give you a series of eye drops, one of which is an anaesthetic - I did say to her, "How do you know it has worked?" And she said one of the other eye drops was iodine to sterilise the eye, and if you've ever had iodine on a cut, you will know how much it effin' stings.
No need to shit yourself. Takes about half an hour and it's a common op. they have done thousands of times.