British Comedy Guide

BCG Fantasy Premier League 2020/21 Page 68

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 7th March 2021, 11:57 PM

In other news - I wonder who it is, has regretted giving Son the captaincy over Kane or even Bale............ Whistling nnocently

Hi G Wave

I regret joining this f**ktard league.

Every single Clique member in front of me played Fernandes against a team unbeaten in 28 games! The only one who didn't fielded Luke Shaw! It's no wonder I can't get in front of you c**ts when you're playing such a wildass strategy. (In fairness to Steve his only other playing defender was up against Chelsea, but most would still have played Digne ahead of Shaw).

It's not like I was in a good mood anyway, having to triple up on City dross. Most seasons I've avoided them because the points can come from anywhere (Remember Ederson got an assist against Spurs the other week) but with Steve raking in 17 from Mahrez and everyone except me getting a Dias or Stones goal, my hand was forced.

I described Puffing billy de Bruyne as a farmer with the face of Rufus Hound and 'thighs of Sophia Loren' a while back and he is, but he's also so slow that cress grows on his bootlaces. I actually got up to wiggle the aerial when he had the ball because I thought the picture had frozen. And don't start me on Jesus giving away that penalty... F**king f**k me.

To answer your question about Son - I don't regret it at all. He got me 14 points last week and nearly scored in both matches. He has security of starts over Bale and will always be fitter and more nimble and Kane has played quite deep of late. He also gets a CS point if they keep one and more points for a goal. A good, obvious captain choice, this week or any.

Laughing out loud Love your posts! So entertaining. You had me laughing out loud about De Groin.

Both my Chelsea players benched. Not cool.

Hope they loose their CS.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th March 2021, 4:09 PM

Laughing out loud Love your posts! So entertaining. You had me laughing out loud about De Groin.

I've been doing it for years. I should probably get some award.

Yes I liked your Sterling phone fault joke for the record but couldn't be bothered to quote and do an emoji

Cresswell assist
Kippers going to pull away again the moment I smell the engine fumes

It'll be a Sterling Hattrick next I know it

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 8th March 2021, 7:08 PM

I've been doing it for years. I should probably get some award.

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Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th March 2021, 12:32 AM

pic

I think there may have been some confusion around punishment and reward in your upbringing.

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See this guy? He's laughing at me, because he knows that he's now cost me three Chelsea clean sheets, even though I have the second most nailed-on Chelsea defender.

Just to prove it's not a Godot thing, he also benched the keeper one week to f**k off Radish.

What a c**t this man is.

And he's ugly. He looks like a sanitary pad salesman from the 1950s.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 9th March 2021, 4:10 PM

I think there may have been some confusion around punishment and reward in your upbringing.

Thought you'd like a bit of action

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th March 2021, 4:20 PM

Thought you'd like a bit of action

Not my thing, but Mrs. Godot might take you up on it. They don't call her a trophy wife for nothing.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 9th March 2021, 4:53 PM

Not my thing, but Mrs. Godot might take you up on it. They don't call her a trophy wife for nothing.

So I found out in bed the other night. :$

I would have gone with a punchline such as

ah I thought it was because you keep her in a cabinet
Or you're not allowed to touch until you get past a semi

Nice cups I hope.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 10th March 2021, 1:38 PM

Nice cups I hope.

That's what I would have gone with - if I had to reply to my own joke - 'because she takes a big cup size'. Or 'because she's got the names of three different people engraved on her bottom'.

Of course the real answer is because I lift her up and kiss her... :*

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 10th March 2021, 10:32 AM

So I found out in bed the other night. :$

I showed your reply to Mrs. Godot and she said it wasn't funny. She also said it wasn't believable as she would never sleep with anyone outside the Clique top six.

She said if you make anymore misogynistic remarks she'll catheterise you with a biro. (She used to be a nurse... Hang on, no - no she didn't).

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 10th March 2021, 3:53 PM

............ 'because she takes a big cup size'.
She also said it wasn't believable as she would never sleep with anyone outside the Clique top six.

SEE!, all this talk of there not being a clique, yet these "certain" members are getting extras. Angry "Big cup size" eh?
What about the workers?

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 10th March 2021, 3:53 PM

She said if you make anymore misogynistic remarks she'll catheterise you with a biro. (She used to be a nurse... Hang on, no - no she didn't).

Holy piss hole Batman. As long as it's a Parker and not a cheap Bic.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 8th March 2021, 8:35 PM

It'll be a Sterling Hattrick next I know it

Yes please. Albeit from the bench! Errr

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