British Comedy Guide

Home Made IQ Tests Page 4

Thanks for that.It wasn't right that I was allowed to believe things that weren't true.

1. What is the connection between Gloria Hunniford, Gloria Gaynor and Gloria Jones?

2. Which one is the odd one out and why : a bilingual, a bisexual, a bicycle and a bison?

3. The exit code when making an international call from the Federated States of Micronesia is 011 but how is this linked to the Princess of Klaxosaurs?

4. If blue and green should never be seen without a colour in between, what does this say about rainbows?

5. In which coastal village is Billy Bragg's mansion and how many black servants attend to his needs?

The first one is easy.
They are all people I have no interest in.

Quote: john tregorran @ 21st February 2021, 11:42 PM

The first one is easy.
They are all people I have no interest in.

Except this one? Hop in the van............

Yes except that one.
As for No.4
Do not be alarmed nature is not at fault.
" Blue and green should never be seen without a colour in between,

So buy Dulux today for that permanent sheen "

Was just an advertising slogan in the 50's before colour TV.

Quote: john tregorran @ 22nd February 2021, 2:22 AM

Was just an advertising slogan in the 50's before colour TV.

Ahh yes, I remember watching "Whispering" Ted Lowe commentating on the snooker..................

"...................and Fred Davis has played the light grey ball, leaving him on the darker grey one into the side pocket"

It wasn't until 1975 I realized that Sherwood Forest was green.

Re:No.5.

Billy rejecting capitalism and all it evils embraced feudalism and started a commune not far from Aberystwyth.He does need a constant supply of black servants because of all of the deaths from the rugby.I'm guessing 30.

Quote: john tregorran @ 21st February 2021, 11:42 PM

The first one is easy.
They are all people I have no interest in.

Sadly incorrect as the compiler of these Q and As, which are designed for the world's most intelligent people, could not possibly have known how you feel about those people. The answer is that they all are or were women.

Quote: john tregorran @ 22nd February 2021, 7:49 AM

It wasn't until 1975 I realized that Sherwood Forest was green.

Re:No.5.

Billy rejecting capitalism and all it evils embraced feudalism and started a commune not far from Aberystwyth.He does need a constant supply of black servants because of all of the deaths from the rugby.I'm guessing 30.

Not wholly wrong. There is indeed a Burton clothing store in that area but it is in Aberystwyth itself, at 36-38 Great Darkgate Street, and Aberystwyth is too big to be a village. John Bradstock is indeed a former rugby player and has two links to "a" Wales. Regrettably the first is that while he played for the club of Newtown, that club is not in the Newtown which is only 42.7 miles from Aberystwyth but rather in Sydney, Australia. The second is the Wales he represented - if just on one occasion - was, alas, New South Wales.

Still, the answer is indeed that Billy Bragg's mansion is in the coastal village of Burton Bradstock. Being located in Dorset, (and seeing how no one in their right mind could call Wales a separate entity from England), you had successfully narrowed down the possibilities to absolutely anywhere in just two large countries - that is, first, the United Kingdom and, secondly, Australia. Well done on that part. As for the part about black servants, the answer is so obviously zero as Billy Bragg is an extremely well known socialist.

Appendage:

Incidentally, I did spot that your mind meandered a little in your pleasant seeming chat with one of our forum friends. That, I guess is fine. But Sherwood Forest is, in fact, red as it is established over an area underlain by the Permian and Triassic age New Red Sandstone. It only appears to be green - and indeed is thought widely to be green - because of its huge emphasis on the 30-tonne "Robin Hood" Chieftain tank so often used by the Sherwood Rangers. The regular reverberations caused by these Chieftains over many years has led to the oddest of phenomena - almost every person in the Sherwood Forest area is colourblind.

Please note that while answers to formally set questions are required in their very principle to be entirely factually correct, that is not the case in terms of ordinary chit-chat as you yourself have successfully established. Consequently, everything in the paragraph immediately above this one is accurate with one exception. There is no obligation on me to say which it is but what I can helpfully confirm is that it is a green herring.

"As for the part about black servants, the answer is so obviously zero as Billy Bragg is an extremely well known socialist."

That's not conclusive though is it? eg: Tony Blair is an extremely well known socialist too and I'm sure he would have no qualms about enslaving black people.

regarding No,2

My answer would be a bisexual.
It's a little known fact that a bisexual cannot ride a bicycle.In most cases a bisexual cannot even get on a bicycle.A bisexual has difficulty in deciding which way to mount a bicycle.And even if a bisexual succeeds in doing so they don't know which way to turn a bicycle when in motion.

Quote: john tregorran @ 22nd February 2021, 7:31 PM

"As for the part about black servants, the answer is so obviously zero as Billy Bragg is an extremely well known socialist."

That's not conclusive though is it? eg: Tony Blair is an extremely well known socialist too and I'm sure he would have no qualms about enslaving black people.

regarding No,2

My answer would be a bisexual.
It's a little known fact that a bisexual cannot ride a bicycle.In most cases a bisexual cannot even get on a bicycle.A bisexual has difficulty in deciding which way to mount a bicycle.And even if a bisexual succeeds in doing so they don't know which way to turn a bicycle when in motion.

On point 1, Mr Blair may be seen perversely by some as an extremely well known socialist but he just isn't a socialist is he? I can only state the facts here - that he is a tad to the right of Nigel Farage - and leave it to other people to argue the toss while being served tea by people from afar. On Question No 2, no, the answer is not a bisexual but you are uncannily close in focussing on movement. This again indicates that you have a fairly high IQ. Where you fall down is in instinctively playing off a bisexual and a bicycle when they were perfectly alongside each other - harmoniously - with no hint of mounting each other upon the question. Obviosuly the answer to this question is a bicycle. All the other three are capable of shagging .

As somewhat of an aesthete I have a problem thinking down to those levels.

Q3 : Don't know.I suspect it's a plot from one of these games youngsters play these days.PlayStaion 4,XBox 1 or even series XJS
Possibly Hitman 111 or Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War ?

Quote: john tregorran @ 23rd February 2021, 3:26 AM

As somewhat of an aesthete I have a problem thinking down to those levels.

Q3 : Don't know.I suspect it's a plot from one of these games youngsters play these days.PlayStaion 4,XBox 1 or even series XJS
Possibly Hitman 111 or Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War ?

Hmmm. 001, also known as the Princess of Klaxosaurs, is of course a character in DARLING in the FRANXX. She is a Klaxo-sapien and is presumed to be the last surviving member of her kind.The connection with 011, the exit code when making an international call from the Federated States of Micronesia, is that both are binary numbers. While your references to Xbox 1 and Hitman 111 initally fooled me into thinking your mind was in the right area, I then noticed your reference to PlayStation 4 and realised rather sadly it wasn't.

Yes, I have noticed your kind attempt at the rainbow question.

Would you like to try again?

No thankyou.Perhaps it's appropriate that I leave it hanging in the air because the end of a rainbow can never be found.

Quote: john tregorran @ 23rd February 2021, 8:41 PM

No thankyou.Perhaps it's appropriate that I leave it hanging in the air because the end of a rainbow can never be found.

My God, you are super bright. It is just that you hide it for some reason. Presumably it is the usual bloody Antipodean insecurities aboutgoing into depths apart from when showing off in bare chests and deep waters with killer sharks. I'm not naive. I have hung around Queens Park Rangers. The entire place is that sort of thing. It was ok but when I got home I had a good wash. Not that I sense you are a proper one.

Yes, you guessed it and also led to it by taking the piss. There is, of course, always a crock at the end of the rainbow and it can only, by definition, be a crock of gold or a crock of shit ( or other crocks, mentioning no names - are you learning here any big tool from Suffolk? - wouldn't know light in the middle of a spectrum if it was up its arse). Anyways, yes, it was very clever. You. Yes that it is you. Really you. The insistence that I argue that there is in fact a crock of shit at the end of a rainbow while somehow coming up with a totally logical reason. Fascinatigly here it comes. The phrase I mention only applies to clothes and rainbows don't wear clothes so there is nothing wrong with them. Apart from, that is, gratuitous nudity. But I guess that is such a way of life in your sunny world that your intelligence was only ever to be revealed sub-consciously. What a shit answer we've found through sheer camaradrie. Jolly well done! Thanks for being a good sport.

Sport.

Yus.

Everybody needs good neighbours.

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