British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 253

Documentary evidence that Jesus lost His virginity. Holy f**k!

Last Valentine's Day I persuaded a toothless old man to give me a free blow job. What a sucker.

I love Korean food. It's the dog's bollocks.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 15th February 2021, 8:37 AM

I love Korean food. It's the dog's bollocks.

You should read back on this thread.... I wrote the same joke

You plagiarist.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th February 2021, 9:06 AM

You should read back on this thread.... I wrote the same joke

You plagiarist.

There's nothing original about MM, the poor man's Sootyj

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th February 2021, 9:06 AM

You should read back on this thread.... I wrote the same joke

You plagiarist.

Coincidence.
I'd like a big Mac please. - With relish? - Mmm, I'd llliikkkee a Bbbig Maaaaaaaaaaccc plllllllleeeassssseeeee..

Overdosed on laxatives. Way to go!

What's the difference between money and a masturbator? Money might change hands.

First tribute to Pavarotti came from Berlusconi. Fair enough, he f**ked with minors too.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 20th February 2021, 11:56 AM

First tribute to Pavarotti came from Berlusconi. Fair enough, he f**ked with minors too.

Have you been working on this gag for twelve and a half years, Michael?

It was originally Thatcher and miners. How do I do it? What's my secret? I guess we'll never know.
What's the difference between flu and masturbation? Flu STARTS with a-tishoo.

I have to do a whole routine without mentioning any Spice Girl. Scary!

I'm starting a Viagra business. Wanna get it up and running.

Open Mics are like jerking off. You need a tight five.

Harry and Meghan are in bed on their wedding night and he says, 'I'd like our first child to be named Seatbelt.'
'Why Seatbelt?' she asks.
'It's what my mother would have wanted.'

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