British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,797

I believe he's one of those rappers

Spending his time doing adverts for fast food

Hardcore gangsta

Quote: lofthouse @ 29th January 2021, 8:01 PM

I believe he's one of those rappers

Spending his time doing adverts for fast food

Hardcore gangsta

Innit!

Quote: Chappers @ 29th January 2021, 7:44 PM

Is that somebody famous then? I thought it was just some old bloke.

Love his wheels though.

F**king Eamon Holmes advertising the merits of Equity Release on his home, as if the twat needs it with the obscene amounts of money him and his wife earn....................
It was the same a while back with that c**t Michael Parkinson advertising a Sun Life plan for the over 50s, or whatever it was. Roll that policy up in a tube Michael and shove it up your arse, along with the free pen.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 31st January 2021, 3:14 PM

F**king Eamon Holmes advertising the merits of Equity Release on his home, as if the twat needs it with the obscene amounts of money him and his wife earn....................
It was the same a while back with that c**t Michael Parkinson advertising a Sun Life plan for the over 50s, or whatever it was. Roll that policy up in a tube Michael and shove it up your arse, along with the free pen.

Laughing out loud

Same to you - Titchmarsh and Voderman

I went to Wilco's today and had a mask and screen on and I went to a section where a woman was chatting to a man. Nothing unusual there I thought until the woman approached me and asked if I was alright. As is always the case when a stranger talks to me especially an attractive woman in a Wilco's I immediately became suspicious and slightly defensive but without being rude I said I was fine and asked why she was asking. She then said I must be struggling for breath wearing a mask and it was at that point I noticed she wasn't wearing a mask and was clearly suggesting I'm foolish to be taking precautions. As soon as I realised that I just walked away to the sound of her laughing. It pissed me off a bit because aside from the fact she was clearly a loon she was a well dressed and attractive woman. Perhaps she laughed out of embarrassment that I just walked off because I suspect the man she was talking to was another stranger she had collared.

That's weird - you sure she wasn't drunk, effin' cow.

I'm glad to hear you are doing the right thing Tarby.
Being well dressed and attractive doesn't stop you from being stupid does it?

Quote: john tregorran @ 1st February 2021, 1:56 AM

I'm glad to hear you are doing the right thing Tarby.
Being well dressed and attractive doesn't stop you from being stupid does it?

Who are you calling stupid?

Not you ,obviously.

Quote: lofthouse @ 29th January 2021, 6:20 PM

It feels like I've seen snoopy doggy dog's (or whatever the f**k he's called) tv advert for Just Eat about 87 billion times

Just fk off already

Well according to Katy Perry (so it must be true), California Girls are the best. Cos they're most likely to give Snoop a boner. Girl Power!

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 1st February 2021, 12:34 AM

That's weird - you sure she wasn't drunk, effin' cow.

Not drunk and at a guess I would say she is someone who 'spreads the word' about the conspiracy that the government is trying to destroy its own economy to anyone who will listen. She was Eastern European and while that is usually a bonus because I like the eastern European accents it can also ring certain alarm bells. Or, she could have been a local fruitcake but her attire and personality made me think she was more than that. In hindsight I should have told a member of staff about her because she wasn't shopping she was loitering talking to people and then tried to snare me but I was able to escape the peril.

My sister has been poorly for weeks and could barely walk to the end of the street but I'm not going to have a discussion about that with a stranger in a hardware store who spouts brainwashed bollocks in broken English. I'm just glad I'm the kind of person that knows when to turn on my heels and leave rather than arguing or calling them a FUCKING TWAT as I walk off. Remaining silent and dignified is always the best option in hindsight.

I just wish I had the self control and sharpness to be able to f**k with them like 3 Non Blondes, Trigger Happy, Dennis Pennis Laughing out loud I used to be good at that sort of thing but lost it over the long, long years.

When newsreaders say the gang were given X amount of years just to sensationalise the news but usually omit to say how many were involved.

OTT example of this was on the local news tonight, when they said the gang were given 210 years jail for County Lines drug dealing, and you're meant to mutter to yourself "F**k me, that's a lot - good!!" BUT, the newsreader then goes on to say 72 people were arrested in various raids across the county.

You don't have to be a maths genius to quickly realise that the sentences are diddly squat. F**king media.

Why in the world would anyone report the total for a group of people? I can see for one, but for multiple people?

They do it all the time on the UK TV news- REALLY pisses me off. It's that SHOCK HORROR headline they're trying to capture people's attention with, but it just degrades the news. There really are some seriously shit news editors in TV.

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