Heather Mills...again

Obvious, but couldn't resist...

LORRAINE KELLY SPEAKS TO HEATHER MILLS ABOUT HER NEW CHARITY “ SAVE THE CHILDREN, LIKE”

LORRAINE: So, Heather, what are the aims of your new charity?

HEATHER: Lorraine, children are suffering is silence. Having to endure unbearably cramped conditions without adequate food or drink -

LORRAINE: Sounds horrendous!

HEATHER: - treated no better then battery farmed chickens –

LORRAINE: Oh my god!

HEATHER: - All because of mans cruelty and neglect.

LORRAINE: So you’re asking our viewers to donate to this charity and help put a stop to this inhumanity?

HEATHER: Yes, so that Bea won’t have to travel in tourist class.

Can you believe it!? How much bloody money does the woman need?! "24 million, what a disappointment!"

It was good anyway. Maybe you could incorporate the water-throwing incident into it too, by Kelly making some fruity/misinterpreted remark and having Mills throw her water in her face mid-way through the sketch.

Or maybe that would confuse it. Anyway, it was simple but it worked fine.

Thanks, James...or maybe "after the break" we just see Lorraine looking ever so slightly damp, quickly chuck a towel out of view, as an empty Evian bottle is thrown, bouncing off her head...plastic of course, I hate lorraine kelly, but not that much

Quote: James Williams @ March 18, 2008, 11:59 AM

Can you believe it!? How much bloody money does the woman need?! "24 million, what a disappointment!"

View original

To be fair to her where would Paul McCartney be without her?

I think you underestimate Heather's use. if I was ever up shit creek without a paddle, I'd want her with me

Quote: David Chapman @ March 19, 2008, 12:35 AM

To be fair to her where would Paul McCartney be without her?

View original

Same place but with a few more dollars in his pocket and an untarnished reputation.
I didn't really get the skit, but I have not followed this story so ignore me.

No probs, Curt,

It was just a reference to her rant on the steps of the courthouse that on being awarded only 35 grand a year for her daughter, her father would be flying A class, leaving his daughter in B class...mildly amusing at best!

That's a really good compact sketch, certainly the sort of thing TS and NR would use. n.b. I always like to end my Heather skits with her going berserk.

Maybe she whips out a cardboard box, and says "Well I guess she'll have to travel in this, I'll just get her weighed at the post office,"

Cheers for that, Sooty.