Thanks Steve.
And thanks Steve.
CHRISTMAS! Page 49
Trying to kill 3 hours at the West Palm Beach airport. I had a great time with my family and the weather was very warm. My niece, nephews and grandson spent hours in the pool and yesterday we spent a few hours at a very crowded beach.
What happened when Mary and Joseph dropped a plate? Jesus swept.
Jesus soils his first nappy. Holy shit.
It has been an anus horribilis for myself and my husband and especially for my Andrew just because he likes girls. However, I find comfort, even though I have been banned from me Corgis in case I should soddin' trip, in the knowledge that all of my peoples are having worse times. For example, only today, and gawd forbid don't let me come across like the late Jeremy Corbyn with my personal example, I had a letter from a Mr Horseradish who tells me he has no turkey or figgy pudding and will be all alone thumping his punch ball.
Well, let me just say here we are all in this together. Even now, I haven't been relegated to an alternative Queen's Speech on Channel 4. Not that my husband and I didn't have to fight for our right to party at 3pm on BBC 1 as per usual. No. We updated. We went down Manze's wonderfully traditional pie and mash shop before pontificating to our salt of the earth waifs at the New Den. We are both so pleased that while one of our sons awaits his unnecessary court case, another is put on hold in the West End for his drama and to be King (bloody heck as like, with old age one confuses Edward with Charles doesn't one). I still have every opportunity to ride bareback, whatever the risks. Yes, I do indeed miss the horses but my daughter Anne has kindly stepped in as a replacement at the advice of our cherished NHS. She does have the hoofs for it.
So - yes - I am here for you and so it seems for all time. I have been with you since I was a mere Lilibet and you were unwisely engaging in oral sex and denying it because it was before the 1960s. Well, as that perfectly dreadful woman who was my least favourite PM of all time (not at all Disraeli) so eloquently put it when ostentatiously collecting litter into a basket in her cornership, you cannibilise on each others' juices if you want to. This lady is not for being a cannibal. Any'ow me dearies, one notes the so-called coronavirus is an irritant beyond Windsor Castle, ain't it and now you are going to be turned into mutants. Probably dead before I kick the bucket but Philip and I will continue to be your Mum and Dad through thick and thin.
One thinks of those times when so many horses were destroyed with coppers upon them simply to break up revolting mining communities. We all got by. Yes, I know, some of you are cuddlin' teddy bears tonight and saying to yourselves "where is Russell Grant? I really do need to know about my future". Not only was one's Buckingham Palace well ahead of its time with black people but we also found even in the 1950s that camp people had their uses. Actually, they are still here skrimping, saving, fetching and washing my vagina. Sure, they fret about whether Jupiter and Saturn have combined but one keeps one's feet on the ground and for as long as they have shrines to dear Anthony Blunt in their rooms I am not worried for Britain.
So it's almost a fond very cheerio from your regal pivot and everyone's favourite Mum. I will just leave you with one final kind thought. Brexit is over the line but then it would be and one really doesn't know what the palaver was about. All of we toffs have been shagging across Europe since time immemorial and as soon as we were all placed genetically in the Hadron Collider our futures together were never in doubt. And remember, you can't get the dreaded lurgy if you want to entertain yourselves as a couple by chomping 24/7 on each others' genitals. Does my bum look big in this? Whoops - can one make that orff camera.
You took the words out of my mouth A Horseradish. Happy Christmas to all. 
Quote: A Horseradish @ 24th December 2020, 11:41 PMHappy Christmas to all.
Quote: Firkin @ 24th December 2020, 11:41 PMYou took the words out of my mouth A Horseradish. Happy Christmas to all.
Thank you Firkin.
That's more than generous.
Always here to challenge and hopefully please.
I'm totally mad, of course.
Have a lovely Christmas.
NOW, it's Christmas Day.....................
Happy Christmas one and all!! 
Tsk...it's old news here
Merry Christmas one and all. I still have 5+ hours, my closest family member is 1000 miles away, and I have to work on Christmas, but I'm trying to feel the Christmas feeling. Not really working so far, but maybe a few beers and a Christmas movie will help.
A merry Brexitmas to all.
Quote: john tregorran @ 25th December 2020, 12:23 AMTsk...it's old news here
I got some ivory for Christmas. Tsk, tsk.
Jeff Lynne refused my gift of feathers. He said, Don't bring me down.
Good one, Michael. What did John Lennon say?
I certainly hope that all faiths remember the true meaning of christmas and he who is the the one we all must cherish from all those years ago. Noddy Holder,1973.