British Comedy Guide

BCG Fantasy Premier League 2020/21 Page 33

Oh yes, I see. So some of us were going on the eve of our marriages from v-neck jumpers like the Undertones wore and corduroy trousers into Sergio Tacchini shirts and £500 trainers. But no amount of waving of our inflatables in the second summer of love was ever good enough for you. Was it? Hammers, fish, bananas. Still, you were there in your DM boots and your skinhead cuts and having eight kids out of wedlock while being on the dole, No, I'm sorry. It isn't getting better all the time. It never was. My underarm odour and that of Feargal Sharkey is as good as each other's and totally normal. Plus he and I agree on the total abomination that is your destruction of our water courses. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 15th December 2020, 8:11 AM

keeping an eye on sneaky midweek gameweeks (that is a huge hint btw, can't do anymore than that)

It's unsporting to not spell it out Kipper. I only found out today that the GW started yesterday. Angry Wouldn't have captained Salah - think that game will probably be a 0-0.

Ooh I took a risk taking a 4pt hit going Man City heavy and bench boosting with a player who doesn't play.
But I'm happy enough with the result
I would have been a bit gutted leaving 12 or 13 points on the bench

Although having said that I see my reserve keeper isn't playing for the first time in ages so it hasn't worked out that well

This is a bloody stupid game. I absolutely hate it. Also, I am so delighted for the people who are doing so well. My food packs are ready here for all your desperate needs because I know that you were sadly unable to kick a ball in your life. Unlike me. The truth of it is that I once booted a round one from a recreational ground in Rottingdean and it ended up on the woolsack in the House of Lords. Now, I'm no naive little soul in well creased trousers and a v neck jumper, ironed, but I do know what people are saying or speculating. He wasn't originally from Toxteth, was he. He's now in a mansion with a swimming pool in Essex, still over displaying his successes having come from a council house. Enough of Pontins on a February night.

No. No. I don't deny it. I don't deny me at all and that includes my winky and my todger. Neither actually do all my mates who are Lords and can't be arsed ever to turn up in that place because they are just out murdering dogs and horses. All because they get erections - and actually that does include the women - from nihilism and the thrill of dressing in jodhpurs. Now I have put these people on the spot. I know I can be accused of being a bit lame but I said to them basically you join me in my local curry house or else I am going to go Communist and the rest of the world will do following my example. So now I know what to do.

I sit there easily with my Phahl and they are having big trouble with a Korma and then I just say Jose Mourinho and they choke. Obviously their throttling concerns me but I'm getting fantastic grades in social studies at the University of Eltham. It's a bit right wing over there but I just adapt by shaving my head bald and growing tattoos. What I am thinking of doing next there is dramatically and frankly not at all in my character mince and study them. They aren't real are they? I'm proper London, me. It would get me me PhD.

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In a world of his own..................... WTF it's got to do with football, I've no idea. :S

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 17th December 2020, 9:45 AM
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Turing was brilliant. Much maligned. Not only did he save Britain from falling. I saw him at an early version of the Comedy Club when we were all beatniks. He was there with the first computer I ever knew. I went for a piss. He just happened to be there. It is only girly women who time things so as not to coincide. We chatted about Enigma very naturally. In fact, from memory it was me who gave him the idea and saved Her Majesty, then just a girl with a queer but a reassuring pitch and way ahead of her time on race relations, and all our latrines from being goose stepped. We got to know each other well after that briefs if odoriferous episode. Mind you, after remote fiddle-faddling, I just went down Primark for me long johns and g-string.

He was about to be the first man in space which, of course, he became. I said "fantastic, Al, but please remember Peter Paul and Mary". Consequently when he beamed it all in, he was singing "If I Had a Hammer (The Hammer Song}. Not just to me but people in abject poverty in Africa. It went all around the world.

Personally, I think he had a bigger brain that that even of Winston Churchill. This, though, was before the Rastafarians which changed things immensely. To be truthful, I saw a fair few Dagenham way and did I chortle because I did feel at that time they had some strange code towards instinctive comedy. Maybe it was that they too had felt alienated on an island and desperate to escape. Though mostly I spent time with my Dad collecting pebbles on a beach as he dipped his cock elegantly into a pond known as a Suffolk bird sanctuary. Then we bloody ran like the clappers from erosion. What was his pen pals nickname for him?

HGT.

Herc, Daddy, please don't give up on me just yet - I love you.

I also love Liverpool via anywhere in Essex - though the roots I have there are in Much Haunted Canewdon.

Genuinely, my Nan and Mum found a dead German soldier in the woods - much like abominable holocaust lies, my Uncle Charlie (my godfather) went into Belsen to sort it out, '45. it is a lie that Germans never got here - and there are fields there named after my relatives. We are a little witchy - I don't apologise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m50Ppq055hg

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 16th December 2020, 10:34 AM

It's unsporting to not spell it out Kipper. I only found out today that the GW started yesterday. Angry Wouldn't have captained Salah - think that game will probably be a 0-0.

Well that worked out okay - I've moved up another place, but still astonishingly 1pt behind Shotgun, who's also moved up a place with exactly the same points as me.

If I had realised there was a mid week Gameweek I would have put in Martinez over McCarthy and got more keeper points but I would've captained Vardy so lost out over all. Luck continues to be the biggest factor in my game.

And thanks for the birthday wishes you c**ts.

Happy birthday ginge

Good Lad.

Not ginger though.

Happy Birthday Godot

Happy Birthday (and Xmas), Godot. Any Lego this year?

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 17th December 2020, 9:45 AM
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Well I'm not saying I do either but I'd suggest the advice 'don't spunk your bench boost on a single gameweek'. * should perhaps have been adhered to in this instance.

* p1 Fantasy Football for Beginners, G. Taxis. 2009, Penguin.

Stephen G.................

I need you to put out a shit team for this weekend, so I can beat you and maybe leap frog Shotgun Blues/jp pass in the Herc to Herc. I'm sure you would do this for a mate, and I promise not to gloat when I clear those mere 5 points you are above me in the CLIQUE. :)

Good egg! I knew you would see the sense of it. Cool

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 19th December 2020, 8:09 AM

Well I'm not saying I do either but I'd suggest the advice 'don't spunk your bench boost on a single gameweek'. * should perhaps have been adhered to in this instance.

* p1 Fantasy Football for Beginners, G. Taxis. 2009, Penguin.

Probably
But It would have been a decent haul had Brighton not changed their keeper and if Sterling could hit a barn door.
Double game weeks can be a double game week edged sword though, not always wise to pin too much hopes on them

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