Shannon Johnson

DAVID CAMERON IS TALKING TO BORIS JOHNSON

DAVID
Boris you really are a puzzle. If you're not in the news people will forget about you. But the longer you're in the news, the more likely you are to make a massive unforgivable gaff.

BORIS
Right their chief, I've got a head full of shit, and a mouth with diarrhea. I'd probably phone up Windy Mandela. And tell her in Trafalgar Square we've got a sculpture of her husbands nob.

DAVID
Shut up you straw haired, toffy nosed, waste of organs. I swear if we hadn't been at Eaton together. You'd be sharing a cell with Thatcher, in the high security home for embarrassing Tories.

BORIS
Sorry Boss.

DAVID
No I've got plans for you. You read about that Shannon girl?

BORIS
Er yes chief.

DAVID
Well I just bought a Divan at Ikea, and 90 tins of beans. You're going into hiding till the election. Get a move on you bumbling, Worzel Gummidge Wreck. I've got a tearful interview to do for SkyNews.

Too naughty?

Erm... no. Its a funny concept but I don't think it holds up as a sketch. It may help if you made the dialogue more realistic (closer to what they sound like on TV).

Fair does, I suppose I hate them both so much, I lose objectivity on how they speak. Also sent it to a stage show, where they're generally looking for nice, crude, quick laugh lines. But as a whole it's a bit lumpen.

A couple of funny lines, but it didn't strike me as one of your best efforts.

I'm sick of seeing Shannon's face plastered everywhere.

She looks like Ricky Gervais.

Like the idea. Love the toffee hair and diarrhoea. Not sure whether Windy Mandela fits. The relationship between Cameron and Johnson really works- couldn't you extend that to a longer sketch- series of sketches?

Have tried in the past, don't think any one cares about them! Which is probably a good thing.

As for Windy Mandela. It's an old joke. What sits at the top of Nelson's Column? Winny Mandela.

I think this one may get filed (or submitted any way haven't written much this week).

It's my usual problem of obscure references, and over complexity.

Will make myself write 500 times, Sootyj must not be a smartarse.

I like the Cameron/Boris thing. As I said, some of the lines are funny - but I do think it could be done better.

Think I might have a crack at the two characters if an idea occurs to me.

They're a comedy act. Sorta like Ren and Stimpy.

"Boris you are so stupeed" (in gruff Mexican accent)

its like five funny statements that aren't really connected and then ending with a weak punch line

I think they have potential though, they remind me a bit of Top Cat and Benny.

Oh well, win some, lose some. Will probably dismember this skit, and keep some of the better lines. I guess Boris embarassing Dave is a bit of an old story. The connection to Shanon a bit tenuos. Depressing, but no where near as depressing as the fact that it looks the nincompoop might actually become mayor.

Hmm, not really liking it. Like you say yourself it seems to be just you getting your anger out at both people and the sketch kind of loses direction because of this I feel.

Plus I don't think any Shannon joke can be top this one, brilliant satire and very funny http://www.b3tards.com/u/c906e57fc22848ef3336/missing.jpg

Quote: Martin Holmes @ March 17, 2008, 4:59 PM

Hmm, not really liking it. Like you say yourself it seems to be just you getting your anger out at both people and the sketch kind of loses direction because of this I feel.

Plus I don't think any Shannon joke can be top this one, brilliant satire and very funny http://www.b3tards.com/u/c906e57fc22848ef3336/missing.jpg

View original

Very good.

Wow that's nasty. Funny though, but what a nasty gag.

It's hard to believe how angry people are, that she looks a little like Jimmy Cranky.

Any way with regards top this skit. Message taken, will try and write a better one.

n.b. do you think writing the two of them as Ren and Stimpy could work?