Heard the latest from Brighton - merging the Education Department with the National Lottery? That’s really going to work, innit? Brighton College, twenty five thou a year, don’t think so. Got any tickets for Screwtop Comp? Great, I’ll take five.
Went to Screwtop myself. Got a GCSE in Anger Management and a MacDonald’s Diploma in Tossing. Decided to teach.
I’ll go back to it, once I’m out. Had a little accident with a fifth former - condom split. Used to be a classroom teacher, now I’m a Class One Sex Offender. Pension’s not so hot, but you get your board and lodgings. And basic literacy really counts here - Cat. A, Cat. B, Cat. C….
Not that there’s too much to do. We’ve got Sky obviously, but put in for a sauna and got turned down, till some arsonist took things into his own hands. Forgot his mate was asleep in the cell. We ended up with sauna, followed by barbeque. We was scoffing Turkey Twizzler for a month.
Not much room after the fire, Young Offenders had to go in with the nonces. There was one or two complaints but most of our lads took it in their stride. It’s getting a bit busy for my taste. Personally, I blame the fraudsters, half of them are running buy to let scams. Catch the ads in “Screw News”- “Small, south-facing penthouse in Parkhurst with own suicide net”. Someone told me there’s a two year waiting list. .
Got chatting to this murderer, going out next week. I says, “Tell me the first thing you’re gonna do.” He says, “I’m gonna do the f**king nonce that put me here.”
Nice.
