Tell us a joke Page 241

Quote: gappy @ 30th August 2020, 4:25 PM

This is not a good joke, but on the plus side, I actually dreamt this, it might be the first time I've come up with a functioning pun in my sleep.

How did the area manager know which of their landlords had not cleaned the pub toilets?
Based purely on inn stink.

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ha ha

Quote: alison blunderland @ 28th August 2020, 11:21 AM

I was in a bar last night and some guy was hitting on me. I wasn't interested at first but he bought me a gin and tonic, then another, then another . . . then another. At the end of the night, he asked me if I'd like to go back to his place, so I said yes. What else could I do? He'd Schwepped me off my feet.

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ha ha

Quote: alison blunderland @ 30th August 2020, 11:01 AM

I'm also struggling with a difficult decision. I can't decide if I should get engaged to my boyfriend. If I get engaged, on the one hand I'll have a beautiful diamond ring to show off but on the other hand I WON'T.

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ha ha

They say Eskimo women have a sixth sense but I don't think it's actually a psychic power. It's probably just female Inuitition.

What do you get if you cross Lady Gaga and a mongoose? A freak.

On Netflix, a scary monster is killed by a red indian. Its an Arrow Movie.

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind every great woman there's some guy checking out her arse.

They say men can't think about two things at once. Tits?

Last joke freak

Quote: alison blunderland @ 1st September 2020, 3:08 PM

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind every great woman there's some guy checking out her arse.

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Lol

Tell us a joke and if it's chosen, you earn some money! We are the number 1 humour publisher in the UK....

www.emotional-rescue.com

They are giving away unfunny ones

Whenever anybody nicks my stuff, I just tell myself for a comedian intellectual property theft is the sincerest form of flattery.

David Beckham is suing over intellectual property. It's the first time 'David Beckham' and 'intellectual' have been used in the same sentence.

What's the difference between Berlusconi and herpes? Herpes might go away.

They say on TV that you need to go shopping in mask and gloves. I went and I was deceived again! Everyone in store was wearing clothes except me

The Mediterranean Ocean, The Caspian Ocean, The Dead Ocean.... I don't like using the sea word .