British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,182

According to reports today, Ghislaine Maxwell has agreed to cooperate with the FBI.

I would have staked my life (and possibly a bit more) on her doing that because the American criminal justice system is based very largely on the principle of threatening defendants with extremely long prison sentences (or even death) but offering them much more lenient sentences (or even freedom) in exchange either for a confession or for information.

Buckingham Palace is said to be on tenterhooks, waiting to find out whether or not Ghislaine confirms Prince Andrew's sexual dalliance with Virginia Roberts, the girl who claims to have been a sex slave but who, in almost the same breath, admits to having been paid absolutely colossal sums of money by Jeffrey Epstein for providing his friends with sexual services.

If Prince Andrew had had the sense he was born with, he would have contacted me (or indeed any other human being with even a smattering of common sense) before his infamous interview and I (or one of those billions of other people) would have told him to confirm the truth of everything Virginia Roberts had said - if she was telling the truth.

He was a single man and she was a single woman above the age of consent in the jurisdictions in which their sexual acts are alleged to have taken place. The sexual actions they allegedly performed were, by Virginia's own admission, performed with her full consent. She confirms that, as far as she was aware, Andrew didn't know that she was paid for her services or that she was under any other obligation to please Jeffrey and/or Ghislaine.

So there we have it: if every single word she says is true, Andrew has done nothing illegal and nothing immoral.

However, if Ghislaine confirms Virginia's story, he's utterly finished and the damage to the royal family will be very significant indeed - and all because he was persuaded to tell a series of totally unnecessary lies.

Lest any BCG reader should suspect, even for a single moment, that I am a fan of Prince Andrew, let me deny that outright.

I am however quite a big fan of justice.

On the subject of justice, we should all bear in mind that what Ghislaine eventually tells the police about Andrew's involvement with Jeffrey and Virginia may or may not be true.

Britain and America do enjoy a special relationship and it is in my view entirely possible - and indeed by no means unlikely - that pressure will be brought to bear on Ghislaine to absolve Andrew from any wrongdoing even though her unedited testimony might be more than enough to damn him to hell.

Donald, after all, does have a soft spot for our sovereign lady, the queen.

And the criminal justice system of every country in the world is, when it chooses to be, as bent as a nine-bob note! Laughing out loud

Historian David Starkey is in the news today.

Basically, he's not a professor at Canterbury (any more): he's a very naughty boy!

His downfall was occasioned not by anything he did but simply by something he said.

Did you ever think you'd see the day when in Britain's highest academic circles, people would be shot through the head for speaking their minds?

It's a funny old world. Laughing out loud

Somebody resigning because they said something foolish?
It's not exactly unheard of.

Quote: Chris Hallam @ 3rd July 2020, 1:47 PM

Somebody resigning because they said something foolish?
It's not exactly unheard of.

You are correct, of course, but only four hours ago Canterbury Christ Church University announced to the world "We have terminated David Starkey's position as Visiting Professor with immediate effect."

No resignation there, it seems.

Being sacked for saying something foolish then? Again, hardly unprecedented.

Quote: Chris Hallam @ 3rd July 2020, 2:11 PM

Being sacked for saying something foolish then? Again, hardly unprecedented.

Once again, you are correct.

Think I'm missing the joke here.

Quote: Chris Hallam @ 3rd July 2020, 2:27 PM

Think I'm missing the joke here.

Somebody on BCG missing the joke?

That too is not exactly unheard of. Cool

Dabutt, why do you assume the media are trying to destroy Trumps presidency?

Surely a celebrity like Trump is the media's dream President, unlike the usual boring senator

They didn't go after the actor Ronald Reagan?

I wonder what Dabutt thinks about the slew of "Trump is a dick" books: Fire and Fury, Fear, A Warning, A Very Stable Genius, etc. All the stuff exposing Trump as an ill-informed prejudiced moron is pure fiction or just misunderstood stuff being taken of context to unfairly malign him? The little I know about Trump from his interactions and business relationships with prominent Indonesians is that he is an unprincipled idiot.

I just think that some people are quite happy to vote for Idiots who know nothing as opposed to smart arses who know nothing

I don't give a f**k about the 4th of July. How many of you American f**kers give a f**k about the 5th of November? F**k you, you arrogant, self-important, beyond deluded little wankers.
I don't give a f**k about Rowling. Silly cow invents a specky f**king twat on a f**king broomstick and says he's a f**king hero, who gives a f**k what she says?
I don't give a f**k about One Direction.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 4th July 2020, 10:52 AM

I don 't give a f**k about the 4th of July. How many of you American f**kers give a f**k about the 5th of November? F**k you, you arrogant, self-important, beyond deluded little wankers.
I don't give a f**k about Rowling. Silly cow invents a specky f**king twat on a f**king broomstick and says he's a f**king hero, who gives a f**k what she says?
I don't give a f**k about One Direction.

Thanks Mike

Now here's Tom with the weather..

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd July 2020, 5:54 PM

Right now - If he could sweat - Prince Andrew would be.

Prince Charles in traditional Scots costume. Strange, normally the kilt CONCEALS the dick head.

Meanwhile, according to reports this morning, there was more mayhem yesterday as police officers in London were attacked with bottles, bricks and other objects while trying to persuade a large group of drinking, dancing lawbreakers to cease acting unlawfully. Several officers were injured and at least one officer reports being threatened with a knife.

Apparently, 200 riot police and two helicopters were present at the scene.

Southall Broadway Police described the crowd's behaviour as "disgusting" and "inhuman".

The incident took place in White City.

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