Fancy Writing Some Satire For A New Mag?

Newly launched 'Quaranzine', an online satire magazine aiming to provide a bit of comic relief during the darker times of quarantine, is looking for contributions!!

Whether you're looking for a creative outlet to release your pent up pandemic fears, have a flare for comedic writing or you're just plain bored, we'd love to receive a piece from you.

We're looking for witty/ sardonic/ satirical art and written pieces that respond to the surreal atmosphere of our current circumstances.
Examples of previous articles range from COVID related opinion pieces to satirical takes on recent news:
NHS Debuts App To Trace And Track Your Next Shag
Natural Selection Demands Furlough After Working Overtime at Anti-Lockdown Protest
Kardashians Fight Backs At UK Government Attempting To Flatten The Curve
UK Entering Depression Told It's Just All In Its Head
The Modern Coronance
Is Bojo Giving You Mixed Signals?

Follow us on Instagram or visit our website to explore our content! @quaranzineonline
Don't be shy to get in touch if you want to submit a piece, need some help with ideas, or want to share any comic relief with us by emailing us at: teamquaranzine@gmail.com

Option to submit pieces anonymously through our website. Link: https://www.quaranzine.online/

Nice online mag! Sorry to bring up the vulgar subject of money, but do you pay for any contributions used?
Thanks!

Hi Green Man,
I realise I should have stated this in the description, but we are a magazine run by university students so we are sadly not in a position to compensate anyone monetarily. We can, however, compensate people for their hard work with praise and adoration.

Thanks for the quick reply Sophie, that's great!

Quote: Sophie Peachey @ 24th May 2020, 4:39 PM

Hi Green Man,
I realise I should have stated this in the description, but we are a magazine run by university students so we are sadly not in a position to compensate anyone monetarily. We can, however, compensate people for their hard work with praise and adoration.

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I'll tell you what, Sophie.

Let me have the names of all the students running this magazine and, when they go into full-time work as butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, doctors, lawyers or whatever, I'll occasionally avail myself of their services on the understanding that they'll work for me without any financial compensation.

I will, of course, praise them and adore them.

What do you think?

PS. Is that satirical enough for you?

Hi Rood Eye,
I appreciate that you probably think you were doing something clever there, but we are not forcing anyone to write for us and it's on a voluntary basis. Equating the free service of doctors and lawyers with writing for a student-run magazine seems a bit tenuous, don't you think?
We aren't a business, we're a bit of fun. Perhaps the effort put into your response could be repurposed into an article for our magazine.
Best,
The Quaranzine Team

Sorry, we're all a bit tenuous currently.

Are you actually studying at the moment?

Yes I am taking my finals

Hi Sophie,

Congratulations and good luck with the project.
When i saw your original post i did wonder who would post the 'you want what for free response? People come on here quite regularly and ask for - "people to do stand up", "someone to write satirical articles" or "send us your best sketch" - all for free. Now, i notice that you don't appear to have any adverts, so i would edit your post to make clear, this is a labour of love. and you don't intend to make money from any ones efforts. You have to be aware there are some talented and successful writer/performers on this wonderful site, along with lots of wannabees like me. So in fact your pitch was a bit like going into a room full of people desperate to get a 'job' with deliveroo and asking "anyone got their own bike and want to deliver food for us, for no pay?"

A least you can write a piece on "Sad and bitter writers trope" confirmed.

Hi playfull,
Yes I agree I made an error in not highlighting that is it a labour of love, in your own words.

I am sure there are a lot of people reading this who will be submitting stuff to you, just to make fun of a few of our leaders....

"Dominic Cummings pledges to spend more time writing for student mag"

Quote: playfull @ 25th May 2020, 11:44 AM

"Dominic Cummings pledges to spend more time writing for student mag"

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"Distance no object"

Quote: Sophie Peachey @ 22nd May 2020, 10:59 AM

have a flare for comedic writing

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* flair

What exactly is 'Quaranzine' supposed to be satirizing? The establishment? The mess that is modern Britain? Or young adults afflicted by horrific social disorders?

Well she may mean flare as in torch, to hold a torch for satire. Or may just have made a very common type of spelling mistake.

Flares' flare.
I don't give a f**k about Dominic Cummings. Politician breaking the law, well I'm stunned. Whatever next?