British Comedy Guide

Coronavirus Page 56

"Smurfs fear Gargamel plotting new attack that could exterminate all Smurfs during an easing of lockdown restrictions," says an article in next week's paper.

I can't confirm the veracity of this report, but I don't trust Papa Smurf to bake underage fiddler crabs.

Quote: Kenneth @ 14th May 2020, 4:36 PM

"Smurfs fear Gargamel plotting new attack that could exterminate all Smurfs during an easing of lockdown restrictions," says an article in next week's paper.

I can't confirm the veracity of this report, but I don't trust Papa Smurf to bake underage fiddler crabs.

I wondered when the Smurfs would come back. While they are as obsessional as my writing, neither they nor it can really compare with the obsessive coronavirus news media. Every news journalist really should now seek health assistance.

Moving on, or not in terms of we the poor public transport people doing our civic duty and sitting arse-indoors while Lamborghinis fly past our hovels, so abnormal has this "new normal" become that Grant Shapps is beginning to sound and look totally normal. It is hard to believe that he carried for business or other purposes several identities at once like a loon who patently is absolutely nothing like all my good selves. But the weirdest thing about him in the days of the old normal was that he actually was and still is the cousin of Mick Jones. That is something I will never, ever be able to get my head around and oh how I have tried through the decades. It still ends up seeming like some peculiar dark dream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M8U0tMQNlk

(It sounds today like it could have been a number 1 single - but it only got to number....yep.....19)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grant_Shapps

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/10/06/22/44ED49AC00000578-0-image-a-31_1507326960724.jpg :S

I was expecting Mick Jones the unsung (and unsinging) hero of the Revie era.

I think there's a fiendish plot afoot.They don't mind who get's it now they are better prepared..All this distancing is costing too much money.

Quote: john tregorran @ 15th May 2020, 1:03 AM

I was expecting Mick Jones the unsung (and unsinging) hero of the Revie era.

I think there's a fiendish plot afoot.They don't mind who get's it now they are better prepared..All this distancing is costing too much money.

I'm not sure that would have been weirder.

Here are some of the stories in the revolting Daily Mail in the past weeks followed by their headline today.

Some of England's heritage could be lost forever
How restaurant dining could change forever
One of Australia's music festivals could be cancelled forever
Covid-19 could change American restrooms forever
How Australian flights will change forever
Australia's shopping centres could change forever
AA boss says Covid-19 crisis 'will change way we work, live and travel forever'
Twitter says staff could work at home forever
WHO warns coronavirus will never go away
Are doctors harming coronavirus patients
Are life saving ventilators actually deathtraps?

London "virus-free by June"

Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th May 2020, 12:46 PM

"Police chiefs fear vigilantes will attack city dwellers visiting countryside beauty spots after easing of lockdown rules," says an article in today's paper.

They won't be very effective vigilantes because they've got to keep 2 meters apart. With everyone wearing masks, how do you know who the vigilantes are ? A muffled "Keep ouf mi land." ? They didn't think that one through.

Maybe vigilantes could break the rules and help people to know they're viligantes?

Sorrento Therapeutics of California is set to announce that it has discovered an antibody that can completely block coronavirus.

Apparently, the antibody is 100% effective against coronavirus in human cells when tested in a laboratory petri dish.

Whether it will work inside a real human body and, whether it does or not, what the side effects will be remain unknown.

Still, it's a reason to be guardedly optimistic.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 15th May 2020, 10:17 PM

Sorrento Therapeutics of California is set to announce that it has discovered an antibody that can completely block coronavirus.

Apparently, the antibody is 100% effective against coronavirus in human cells when tested in a laboratory petri dish.

Whether it will work inside a real human body and, whether it does or not, what the side effects will be remain unknown.

Still, it's a reason to be guardedly optimistic.

Yes.

Paul Weller said that Mr O'Rourke's "Galileo" was the greatest song he wished he had written which is so weird because "We Didn't Have To Go To Sea" is the greatest song I wish I had written. The intelligence in its molecular structure is absolutely breath-taking. And then there is the dear old sea dog Mr Cras who had brine in every pore of his DNA yet who no one knows except me. He is up there, in my humble opinion, with Debussy and Ravel. Well, he should be. Listen and next spread the news around. What? Whoops. Sorry. Wrong thread. Was it something about the germer rake-it-in bankers?

Well, alright.

I will answer properly.

3 December 2019

Why Wall Street thinks Sorrento Therapeutics Could Jump By 827%:

https://www.fool.com/investing/2019/12/03/why-wall-street-thinks-sorrento-therapeutics-could.aspx

Sorry - but NOTHING rises by 827% except in extremely unusual circumstances.

It has all been a scam from Day One.

Ooh - the, quote, tiny company, has a bigwig Exec with past links to Lehman Brothers and ties to just about the largest private enterprise set up in China, Alibaba, which might as well be western when one looks at those with interests in it.

What a surprise!!!!

https://www.businessinsider.com/r-hong-kong-market-could-open-cash-flood-gates-for-us-biotechs-2018-6?r=US&IR=T

I have worked this out you know. I'm just finalising my report to forward to my MP. I know what was done. I know which people did it. Put it this way. Don't be surprised to find you too have antibodies from some or other time to Covid-19 when the compulsory tests are introduced - and then don't worry at all about it because the deaths are not from Covid-19.

The British headteachers' union has advised its members that schoolteachers are at no more risk from coronavirus in their workplace than a member of any other profession is in his/her workplace.

If that's true, perhaps they can explain why headteachers have been self-isolating in their offices for decades, if not centuries. Clearly, they recognise hundreds of steaming health hazards gathered together in one place when they see them.

Why did the man cross the road? Social distancing. Haven't you heard?

Has there ever been a more obvious example of how much disregard the Governent has for ordinary folk than schools reopening except the likes of Eton, who are staying closed until September.

Quote: Sitcomfan64 @ 18th May 2020, 8:15 AM

Has there ever been a more obvious example of how much disregard the Governent has for ordinary folk than schools reopening except the likes of Eton, who are staying closed until September.

Opening schools might infect thousands of pupils, hundreds of teachers, and thousands of parents once all those kids catch coronavirus and carry it back home.

Clearly, it makes sense to test that theory among the common people before the wealthy take any such risks?
Laughing out loud

Quote: Sitcomfan64 @ 18th May 2020, 8:15 AM

Has there ever been a more obvious example of how much disregard the Governent has for ordinary folk than schools reopening except the likes of Eton, who are staying closed until September.

I think it's more about the fact that government can't force private schools to follow their insane orders.

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