British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,780

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 22nd April 2020, 9:14 PM

Laughing out loud I'm usually good and letting annoying moments like that pass without letting it bother me but the woman was having a little discussion with I assume her daughter on what items to leave and what to put in the trolly making it very confusing for the cashier. She then tried paying with a voucher on her phone so the manager had to be called over but it wasn't working because the screen on her phone was cracked so it wasn't scanning. I was more annoyed with myself because the store was empty so I could have gone to a self service checkout and saved myself 15 minutes of standing there watching a woman debate over a tin of powdered milk but that awkward British thing meant I couldn't put my shopping back in my trolly and walk off which might have looked like an impatient hissy fit.

Supermarkets can be great avenues of personal amusement in Asian countries where there is no culture of courteous queuing. An insidious form of queue-jumping involves shoppers plonking a few items in front of the cashier (as if reserving first place) and then disappearing to buy more stuff. Or pushy shoppers try to push in front while putting their items down as the next to be scanned, while I stand patiently. Whenever these things happen, I just buy their stuff for myself and play retarded (I'm quite convincing). This results in some unintended purchases but does amuse me.

On another matter, I'm still hearing reporters on BBC World and Al Jazeera talk about "vunnerable" people. Channel flicking last night, I paused at Animal Planet and was gladdened to hear Bindi Irwin pronounce "vulnerable" correctly (referring to a cute, newborn tiger cub). Perhaps she could get a side-job providing electrocution lessons to BBC staff.

Incest. I can relate to that.

Quote: Briosaid @ 22nd April 2020, 10:41 PM

Why do people keep taking me seriously?

Take you seriously? You must be joking!

Quote: Chappers @ 23rd April 2020, 8:45 PM

Take you seriously? You must be joking!

Maybe I didn't express that properly. Maybe it should have been along the lines of ' believe I mean literally, what I say'. For example, I'm fully convinced there are some people here that believe I mean it when I say I want to hang certain politicians from the nearest lamppost. Obviously this is rubbish. I'd be too squeamish so I'd get a baying mob to do it for me. Laughing out loud

Neighbours who think just because it's lockdown it's acceptable to play their WANK music outside so loud the whole district has to listen to it and share in their utterly SHIT taste in music

Different times- same old c**tishness from selfish arseholes

Last night they're all out on our street clapping, banging pans and setting off fireworks for the NHS. I'm seriously considering next week walking up the street with a poster saying 'Support the NHS. Don't ever vote bastarding Tory again.' What do you think ?

Thinking about stuff is not as easy as banging pans.

So, are you saying I should do it (and get drummed out of the neighbourhood)? I've had a few glasses of wine so am probably not thinking clearly

Yes you should.All this pan banging is just an empty gesture.

Quote: Briosaid @ 24th April 2020, 11:02 PM

bastarding Tory

Oh so now you're threatening to kill the parents of MPs, well I don't like orphans makers, there I said it.

Quote: Briosaid @ 23rd April 2020, 10:31 PM

I want to hang certain politicians from the nearest lamppost.

Alex Salmond was cleared of those charges (so make it look like an accident).

Quote: Briosaid @ 24th April 2020, 11:18 PM

So, are you saying I should do it (and get drummed out of the neighbourhood)? I've had a few glasses of wine so am probably not thinking clearly

Do you ever?

Quote: Firkin @ 25th April 2020, 12:56 PM

Oh so now you're threatening to kill the parents of MPs, well I don't like orphans makers, there I said it.

Alex Salmond was cleared of those charges (so make it look like an accident).

:D:D:D As far as Alex Salmond is concerned, I have an open mind. It would surely be unusual to be found Not Guilty of so many charges if you were actually Guilty. We'll see. When all the present worry is over, much may be revealed - many people believe there was a stitch-up and He's certainly not going to let it rest.

Quote: Briosaid @ 25th April 2020, 2:36 PM

:D:D:D As far as Alex Salmond is concerned, I have an open mind. It would surely be unusual to be found Not Guilty of so many charges if you were actually Guilty. We'll see. When all the present worry is over, much may be revealed - many people believe there was a stitch-up and He's certainly not going to let it rest.

It is Scotchland after all. You're probably welcome of the attention.

The lack of a 'go to last post' option in this forum

Quote: lofthouse @ 28th April 2020, 10:07 PM

The lack of a 'go to last post' option in this forum

You can already go to the last post. Haven't you seen the "eye"?

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