A Horseradish
Saturday 18th April 2020 9:14pm [Edited]
8,475 posts
I tend to quote an unnamed friend of mine at this point. He likes to read me Kipling. He was on the telephone just last night actually. Luckily I can recall it word for word although I was wearing my dressing gown and getting ready for sleep.
And if you can self-isolate for a so-called virus, my son, you will be so sturdy and truly handsome and very strong
And, my son, if it turns out not to be a virus and you have quite good relations with your Member of Parliament
Tell them that democracy should triumph over all and if you get them to agree, well then you have a cool haircut.
And then, my son, if you don't smash masts but order politicians to decouple from the iffy bits of global enterprise
Then you, my son, shall indeed wear Levis and Doctor Martens if you want, although they have gone cross gender
So what is the point when your values, my son, are firm and bold and you have an even bigger cock based in morals.
Oh morals, my son, you may encourage millions to smash the heads in of bastards who lied while you protect others
Even if they are rich and thieving by instinct but did not suppress exosome theory to make money from vaccines
Because, my son, if it turns out that there were cruel fakes, you must indeed put blood dripping dead heads on stakes.
That will not only ensure you have a place in the heavens but get you an Adidas hoody, navy blue, and boxing gloves
Alas my son, verily I cannot guarantee they will be signed by Tyler though you will have a beautiful wife, gypsy or not,
Unless - and then I will do - you shove their flesh and bones through a crusher of 144 tonnes and stick it on YouTube.
Yes, my loves, I really recognise this is a tough time for many.
But I do genuinely hope what I offer is of some real comfort.