British Comedy Guide

Coronavirus Page 14

Dear Madam,

I am writing to complain about the end of climate protests in Central London.

Your school closures have already made it ludicrously impossible for teachers and children to strike.

Nevertheless, please allow them all to be crammed back in to Trafalgar Square as soon as possible.

Only in this way can we hope to block all the main hospital routes to non-coronavirus patients.

And save the NHS.

Yours faithfully,

Vince Polluter

Britain's coronavirus death toll has jumped by 86 to 422 - the biggest daily rise so far.

That would be saddening enough if people weren't still cramming themselves like sardines into tube trains in London but, as long as they're doing that, the total numbers of infections and deaths are going to go up like a rocket.

Perhaps we should run a sweepstake where we all pick a date upon which the death toll will reach 1000?

I have a feeling anyone who picks a date after the end of this month is being optimistic.

Guess who's got coronavirus now?

Only Greta Thunberg!

I bet Donald Trump and Jeremy Clarkson are laughing their whatsits off.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 24th March 2020, 7:13 PM

Guess who's got coronavirus now?

Only Greta Thunberg!

I bet Donald Trump and Jeremy Clarkson are laughing their whatsits off.

We have a scientific breakthrough.

It can also be transmitted by an overt love of the limelight.

Trump and Clarkson should have it by now then.

This social distancing is nothing new,people have been avoiding me for years.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 24th March 2020, 7:13 PM

Guess who's got coronavirus now?

Only Greta Thunberg!

I bet Donald Trump and Jeremy Clarkson are laughing their whatsits off.

That's awful . Hope those 2 bastards suffer for their nastiness.

Quote: john tregorran @ 24th March 2020, 7:25 PM

Trump and Clarkson should have it by now then.

We have a scientific breakthrough.

The best form of protection is having an ego the size of several planets.

And you are on form tonight.:)

Wonder if the morons who voted for Trump still think He's so wonderful .

Quote: john tregorran @ 24th March 2020, 7:31 PM

And you are on form tonight.:)

I am the person people always turn to in extreme crisis.

The company I work for is a ***king joke. No communication from them as to whether we should be working or not. The MD is on holiday. No plan for dealing with the public or protective gloves and handwash. A multi million pound company and on the website is a collection of photos of said MD and a bunch of p**cks on a golf day.

Quote: Briosaid @ 24th March 2020, 7:32 PM

Wonder if the morons who voted for Trump still think He's so wonderful .

Hillary Clinton would have singlehandedly cured the virus.

More importantly even with the crisis of the coronavirus pandemic Noel and Liam are still not talking!!!

A recent interview with Professor Dr Sucharit Bhakdi, an infectious medicine specialist, one of the most highly cited medical research scientists in Germany. He was head of the Institute for Medical Microbiology at the Johannes Gutenberg University of Mainz, one of Germany's most distinguished seats of learning.

The transcript is below (NB Interview dates from 18th March so please note one of the figures he gives for deaths in Germany is now out of date. It is not mistaken).

Q: Today we will talk about the Corona Virus. This virus spreads fear over the whole world. Also in Germany, a state of emergency imposes extreme restrictions. What are Corona viruses?

Prof Bhakdi : "These viruses coexist with humans and animals around the globe. They are the cause of very common minor diseases of the respiratory tract. Very often, infections remain subclinical without symptoms. Severe courses occur almost exclusively in elderly patients with other underlying illnesses, in particular of lung and heart.
"Now however a new member is on stage spreading fear around the world.
Why?
"The new COVID-19 originated in China and spread rapidly. It appeared to be accompanied by an unexpectedly high number of deaths. Alarming reports followed from Northern Italy that concurred with the Chinese experience.

It must however be pointed out that the large majority of other outbreaks in other parts of the world appeared to display lower apparent mortality rates, and such high numbers of 4%, 5% or 6% were not reached. For example in South Korea the apparent mortality rate was 1%."

Q: Why do you say "apparent" mortality rate?

Prof Bhakdi : "When patients concurrently have other illnesses, an infectious agent must not be held solely responsible for a lethal outcome. This happens for COVID- 19 but such a conclusion is false and gives rise to the danger that other important factors are overlooked. Different mortality rates may well be due to
different local situations. For example, what does Northern Italy have in common with China? Answer:
Horrific air pollution, the highest in the world. Northern Italy is the China of Europe. The lungs of inhabitants there have been chronically injured over decades. And for this simple reason the situation may not be comparable to elsewhere."

Q: What about Germany?

Prof Bhakdi : "The virus has also spread to us. It is spreading in Germany. One most important consequence being that we now have sufficient data to gauge the true
nature of the virus in our country.The highest alert level has been proclaimed and extreme preventive measures
have been installed in the desperate attempt to retard spread of the virus.
"Yes and this is the incredible tragedy. Because all these adopted measures are
actually senseless.
"Namely, the pressing questions are answered.
"The first one: Does the virus generally cause more serious illness in young people and kill patients who have no concurring illness? This would make
them different from other everyday Corona viruses of the world. The answer is clearly: NO.
"We have 10,000 infections reported (18th March 2020). 99.5% have no or only mild symptoms. Here we already see that it is false and dangerous to talk about 10,000 "patients". They are not seriously ill. 'Infection' is not identical with 'disease' Of the 10,000 infected people, only 50-60 were severely ill. And 30 died to the
present day. "So we have an apparent mortality rate of 1 COVID-19 positive case per day. Up to now.
"The looming worst case scenario that must be prevented according to the authorities is that we would have 1 million cases and maybe 3,000 deaths in 100
days. This would mean 30 deaths a day."

Q: The aim is to prevent this "worst case scenario" ? All current emergency measures aim to slow down virus spread to save lives.

Prof Bhakdi: "Yes. But we are looking already at the worst case scenario - with 30 deaths a day. 30 deaths a day may sound like very much. Keep in mind that
every day, 2,200 over 65 year olds depart from us, here in Germany. How many are not known, so let us just assume 1% (which is surely too low). "This would translate to 22 a day. And these die every day. The only difference is that we do not talk about "Corona-deaths" Because we know that these viruses are normally not the major cause of death.
So what we are doing in the moment is to prevent these these 22 being replaced by 30 COVID-19 positive
patients. This is what is happening.
We are afraid that 1,000,000 infections with the new virus will lead to 30 deaths a day over the next 100 days.
But we do not realise that 20, 30 or 40 or 100 patients positive for normal Corona viruses are already dying every day.
"To avoid CO|VID-19 entering the scene instead of the other Corona viruses, extreme measures are installed.'

Q: So what do you think about them?

Prof Bhakdi :: "They are grotesque, absurd and very dangerous.
"Our elderly citizens have every right to make efforts not to belong to the 2200 who daily embark on their last journey. Social contacts and social events, theatre and music, travel and holiday recreation, sports and hobbies , etc, etc, all help to prolong their stay on earth.
The life expectancy of millions is being shortened.
The horrifying impact on world economy threatens the existence of countless people. The consequences on medical care are profound. Already services to
patients who are in need are reduced, operations cancelled, practices empty, hospital personnel dwindling.
All this will impact profoundly on our whole society.
I can only say that all these measures are leading to self-destruction and collective suicide because of nothing but a spook."

AND PETER HITCHENS' VIEW ON TALK RADIO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e66-8_JXq6o&feature=youtu.be

Cheers, Billy!

I shall sleep a lot more soundly in my bed tonight.

Share this page