British Comedy Guide

Supermarkets. Page 9

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th July 2019, 9:58 AM

One of life's little pleasures.
A Sainsbury's mini store by me puts out warm donuts at 8 in the morning.
A lovely treat to eat for breakfast on the way to work.

"Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pi........."

Oops, scrub that

"Who ate all the doughnuts, who ate all the doughnuts **"

**(some of us are British)

I prefer to think of them by their original name: oilycakes.

For sooth Sire, yesseth. As dosseth is sold at the sign of the 'angin' crape suzetty in Mrs Miggins bakery.

Clever.Not many could resist that delicious aroma and of course there other things to buy in the shop.

Which ones are people finding the best for shopping in at the mo? Don't use it much these days but someone gave me the tip that a Sainsbury's store was best to get bog roll from because they'd seen regular deliveries coming in. So I whizzed the ten miles down there to find not a single sheet plus the frozen food aisles very depleted. Got to till and bloke next to me said he'd just seen them refilling the shelves with it, and I was like a rat up a drainpipe.

Another tip I was given by an Asda checkout lady - come before 9 to get any loo rolls, pasta and all the other stuff selling out quick. What I did find no shortage of in either was milk and bread - the two things I always find gone when shopping in late afternoon especially on a Saturday. :S The corona emergency is throwing up some interesting purchase trends. Please post any more you notice and any tips on best shops to get certain supplies.

And if you shop online and are finding all the slots booked up till Xmas I suggest trying Iceland, they have a very good online service I'm told and it won't be used as much as the others, unless you go and tell everyone that is. Ssshhhh!

I got some toilet rolls from Aldi yesterday buy it's complete pot luck. You just have to be there when they restock.

Supermarkets have started helping by only allowing in elderly customers for the first hour but they could do more by not putting out rice and pasta and instead keeping it behind a counter that's handed out by staff. I got lucky by going to a Saunsbury's when they were putting a new delivery out so I got some rice and pasta and with only one mouth to feed it will last a few weeks. I went around a few corner shops near me today and found some washing up liquid and anti bacterial handwash at decent prices. Good to see independent shops are not cashing in by hiking up the prices.

Once during a very hot summer I went in to a shop for a bag of ice but there was no price. When I asked how much they were and was told a kilo bag of frozen water was £2.99 I put them back and never returned. It's only now I realise how I should have returned and stolen a bag of ice. Maybe a few beers and scampi fries as well.

Only shopped in an Aldi once before but there's a new one opened in Windsor so I tried it out. Let's just say the shop's national origins were evident. Got very confused by a door entry system which told me to wait until the green light came on to enter. I thought 'Oh no, it must be very busy', then someone just waltzed in front of me and the doors opened. I have no idea what that was all about then. Anyway, pleasant enough inside except for no beetroot seen anywhere, a poor selection of bottled beers with no multibuy offers, and worst of all no proper bread, just packaged sliced stuff. Other stuff I got, very reasonably priced and the shop was neat and tidy.

Got in one of the longish queues and then the fun started. Tannoy announcements started reining in like shells from a panzer 88 gun, till 2 closing, till 8 opening, till 6 closing, till 2 opening (again! Why close it half a minute ago then???). It was like a game of musical checkouts, for absolutely no reason that I could see, as all they did was swap around queuing customers into similar length queues. Still, banging out unnecessary orders and having an (unobserved) entry control system keeps the Germans happy, doesn't it.

I have pronounced Lidl - Liddle since they opened but the adverts say Leedle....umph.
Bad enough that Ikea was pronounced eye-keea for years until the adverts said Ick-ee-a
God knows how Aldi is pronounced.

We don't do a lot of supermarket shopping.
But the occasional hit & run on Aldi can be quite rewarding.
Look for what's a good deal and get a ton of it, is our policy.
They had duck breast for silly money the other day, so we cleared the shelf and stuck 'em in the freezer.
The quality is excellent - especially the meat and cold cuts.
Bloody good wine, too.
But you can't rely on it to have what you want -so you need to be a bit flexible.
But. as I say, it's the only supermarket we use these days.

Funny old places supermarkets. For instance I often get asked if I can get something down from a high shelf for someone and on many occasions I simply offer. But you ask one surly f**king midget to get you something from the bottom shelf to save your back, and there's f**king murder.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 21st May 2022, 4:34 PM

Funny old places supermarkets. For instance I often get asked if I can get something down from a high shelf for someone and on many occasions I simply offer. But you ask one surly f**king midget to get you something from the bottom shelf to save your back, and there's f**king murder.

Buy some arm extensions.

May I apologise to little people reading these forums, I hope you were not offended by a poor taste joke.
(Oh no, I'm turning woke and a bit left)

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 24th May 2022, 8:12 AM

May I apologise to little people reading these forums, I hope you were not offended by a poor taste joke.
(Oh no, I'm turning woke and a bit left)

It didn't bother me.

I can't stand the Norwegians.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 22nd March 2020, 9:44 PM

Supermarkets have started helping by only allowing in elderly customers for the first hour

I assume that doesn't mean they're banned after that? ;)

Round here my bus pass doesn't kick in until 0930 so I'd be knackered without the car :(

Local 'big 4' only have cooking oil in 1 litre or 5 litre bottles when I go round, I guess the middle sizes are quickly snaffled up?

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