British Comedy Guide

Coronavirus Page 8

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 17th March 2020, 4:43 PM

Do you often sit here?

What is it, stand up?

Yes, I'm determined to resist the onslaught of this coronavirus: I'm certainly not going to take it lying down!

As I sit here marvelling at the night sky, its beauty thrills my heart, the stars are twinkling away, their radiance fills my heart with joy.My mind is perplexed, How did this universe form? where did we come from? Is there a god? Why are we here? and most of all...... why did I not put a roof on this outside lavvy? And what to do now that I have no toilet paper?

Quote: paulted @ 17th March 2020, 8:28 PM

As I sit here marvelling at the night sky, its beauty thrills my heart, the stars are twinkling away, their radiance fills my heart with joy.My mind is perplexed, How did this universe form? where did we come from? Is there a god? Why are we here? and most of all...... why did I not put a roof on this outside lavvy? And what to do now that I have no toilet paper?

????????????????

Quote: Kenneth @ 17th March 2020, 7:36 AM

Sheffield Wednesday 3, Wuhan Wanderers 6,000.

As for the American proclivity to buy guns and then bewail the inevitable mass shootings, accidental shootings and homicides, it is indeed almost as bad as a stabbing in Scotland.

Thank you Kenneth. I'll be watching for the court case ( very few to choose from) and my guess is that it was somebody with mental problems or something to do with drug gangs ( who don't blooter everybody with guns the way Americans do). Da Butt doesn't like the truth.

With coronavirus panic, I can't remember any seventies disco. But I will survive.

Keep safe Michael, the coronavirus has killed more people there than your jokes now so it's no laughing matter :(

Night Fever? Tragedy! Stayin' alive..

Quote: Rood Eye @ 17th March 2020, 5:13 PM

Yes, I'm determined to resist the onslaught of this coronavirus: I'm certainly not going to take it lying down!

You have to think of some new material, Rood. You can't just re-purpose jokes you first wrote during the Spanish Flu outbreak. :P

Quote: Rood Eye @ 17th March 2020, 5:13 PM

Yes, I'm determined to resist the onslaught of this coronavirus: I'm certainly not going to take it lying down!

As my mother said, 'First I took it lying down. Then I took it on the chin. Now I just swallow it.' I think she meant coronavirus panic.

Quote: Briosaid @ 17th March 2020, 8:58 PM

my guess is that it was somebody with mental problems or something to do with drug gangs ( who don't blooter everybody with guns the way Americans do).

Exactly the same thing I've said for years as far as our gun crime is concerned: the overwhelming majority of it is caused by gangs and drug dealers and mentally ill people. Americans don't want to give up their guns because of crazies and criminals any more than you want to give up your kitchen knives because of crazies and criminals. I don't know if the right for British citizens to own a paring knife is enshrined in your legal system, but our right to own firearms for self-defense is.

Quote: DaButt @ 18th March 2020, 4:08 PM

Exactly the same thing I've said for years as far as our gun crime is concerned: the overwhelming majority of it is caused by gangs and drug dealers and mentally ill people. Americans don't want to give up their guns because of crazies and criminals any more than you want to give up your kitchen knives because of crazies and criminals. I don't know if the right for British citizens to own a paring knife is enshrined in your legal system, but our right to own firearms for self-defense is.

I can't speak for the rest of Britain, but the knives in my kitchen aren't for self defense. They're for making sandwiches and cutting meat and occasionally waving when I want to make a point whilst preparing food.

Quote: chipolata @ 18th March 2020, 4:31 PM

I can't speak for the rest of Britain, but the knives in my kitchen aren't for self defense.

But they're involved in more than 40,000 crimes per year and you could stop it if you'd just doooo something and outlaw them. Etc. Etc.

Quote: DaButt @ 18th March 2020, 4:35 PM

But they're involved in more than 40,000 crimes per year and you could stop it if you'd just doooo something and outlaw them. Etc. Etc.

The thing is knives have several possible uses whereas guns only have one.

Quote: DaButt @ 18th March 2020, 4:08 PM

Exactly the same thing I've said for years as far as our gun crime is concerned: the overwhelming majority of it is caused by gangs and drug dealers and mentally ill people.

Many believe Trump has mental health issues, I've seen so many petitions asking him to be tested, last one had over 150K signatures. What's your best guess as to the percentage of America that would like to see him tested ? He has his finger on the biggest weapon in the world.

You mean his mouth?

No president has his finger on the big button without a hundred other top politicians and military men's say so. Having said that, that there other weapon buttons which have been pushed showing his current Chiefs of Defense are very Hawkish, as they tend to be, unless it's major World Wars not directly involving them. Angry

Quote: Chappers @ 18th March 2020, 6:15 PM

The thing is knives have several possible uses whereas guns only have one.

True.

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