British Comedy Guide

Coronavirus Page 7

Quote: Rood Eye @ 15th March 2020, 6:37 PM

There is some truth in that but we're not comparing four months of solitary confinement with four months of total freedom or even with some other form of sanction.

We are comparing four months of solitary confinement with a significant chance of death.

My very confident proposition is that if every person now on death row were offered a pardon on condition they served four months in solitary before being released, you'd have an almost-100% acceptance rate.

Bugger that! I plan to start a pensioner resistance group. We will sneak out dressed in wigs and low cut tops with massive fake boobs on display so that the Army think we're teenagers. Let me know if you want to join my gang,, but you have to swear allegiance to Nicola Sturgeon who thinks the whole idea of pensioners being incarcerated is bollocks.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 15th March 2020, 6:37 PM

We are comparing four months of solitary confinement with a significant chance of death.

Four months? Where did that come from?

Quote: Rood Eye @ 15th March 2020, 6:37 PM

...and their usual food & drink.

Have you tried to buy anything in the shops recently?

Hmmmm, Billy's becoming more convincing with every post.

Accordingly, I'm digging out my low-cut top, my wig and my big fake boobs (don't ask!) and I'm moving to Scotland to join Brio's gang.

I'm practising my chant now:

"There's only one Nicola Sturgeon! One Nicola Sturgeon! One Nicola Stu-u-u-u-u-u-rgeon! There's only one Nicola Stu-u-u-u-u-u-rgeon!"

Boris Johnson, yer bum's oot the windae!

You're definitely in, Rood.

And I do like your rendering of 'yer bum's oot the windae'

Sales of guns and ammunition are soaring across the US as fears of possible social unrest amid the coronavirus crisis are prompting some Americans to turn to firearms as a form of self-protection.

On the west coast, long lines of customers were queueing up outside gun stores to stock up on deadly materials. At the Martin B Retting gun shop in Culver City, California, the queues stretched round the block throughout the weekend.

Ffs!!

Whilst the rest of us are panic buying bog roll and wet wipes - our Yankee cousins are stock piling guns n ammo

Quote: lofthouse @ 16th March 2020, 10:37 PM

Whilst the rest of us are panic buying bog roll and wet wipes - our Yankee cousins are stock piling guns n ammo

They're buying guns and ammo because they've seen the panic buying and know that in the unlikely event that food becomes unavailable there will be people who will try to steal it from them. Things will be fine as long as cities don't take police off the streets.

It should be noted that Americans who want to own guns already own guns. These new purchases are likely being made by people who would normally look down their noses at firearm ownership.

It's worrying times and it's made me more wary that it could lead to an increase in crime so I should be thinking about home and personal safety. It's worrying times, sorry already said that. My parents are staying at home for the foreseeable future because they're in the at risk group. I'm starting to regret not stocking up because the supermarket shelves are empty and if deliveries of fresh produce is affected there could be some serious food shortages. It's all very well saying they can just call the supplier and ask for a delivery but if all supermarkets are contacting them and deliveries are affected by staff staying at home it's not that easy.

As from tomorrow I'm working from home and a lot of businesses are doing the same.

Quote: DaButt @ 16th March 2020, 11:10 PM

They're buying guns and ammo because they've seen the panic buying and know that in the unlikely event that food becomes unavailable there will be people who will try to steal it from them. Things will be fine as long as cities don't take police off the streets.

It should be noted that Americans who want to own guns already own guns. These new purchases are likely being made by people who would normally look down their noses at firearm ownership.

What a horrible country.

Quote: Briosaid @ 17th March 2020, 12:36 AM

What a horrible country.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-51852955

What a horrible country.

We have a common enemy,this is the time to work together,folks.
(Although, at a distance,of course) :)

I'm enjoying the number 10 press briefings. Although I feel we might as well get rid of Boris and the scientists and just get Private Frazer from Dad's Army doing it.

Quote: DaButt @ 16th March 2020, 11:10 PM

These new purchases are likely being made by people who would normally look down their noses at firearm ownership.

It's nice that a global tragedy can be turned into a way to score points.

Quote: chipolata @ 17th March 2020, 6:47 AM

It's nice that a global tragedy can be turned into a way to score points.

Sheffield Wednesday 3, Wuhan Wanderers 6,000.

As for the American proclivity to buy guns and then bewail the inevitable mass shootings, accidental shootings and homicides, it is indeed almost as bad as a stabbing in Scotland.

I'm sitting here writing jokes and sketches about people staying at home to avoid the coronavirus.

None of them are working.

Do you often sit here?

What is it, stand up?

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