INT - EXHIBITION HALL - DAY
IT'S CRUFTS DOG SHOW AND BEN FOGLE IS DOING A PIECE TO CAMERA.
BEN:
And now I have with me a pit-bull terrier called Satan and he's with his owner, Scammo. Welcome Scammo and Satan.
LONG SHOT TO REVEAL AN EVIL LOOKING DOG AND A CHAV.
BEN:
Congratulations Scammo and well done Satan. Satan's come first in the obedience section here at Crufts. Haven't you boy?
BEN REACHES DOWN TO TICKLE SATAN'S TUMMY. SATAN SNARLS AND BITES HIM ON THE FINGER.
BEN:
Oh gosh! I say, he's a little bit lively for an obedience champion isn't he?
BEN STARTS SUCKING HIS FINGER AS BLOOD DRIPS OVER HIS SHIRT.
SCAMMO:
He well hard innit? He's proper not into strangers guy. See you touch him man, he'll have you proper.
SATAN IS GETTING AGITATED AND TRYING TO BREAK FREE OF HIS LEASH TO GET AT BEN.
BEN:
Oh golly! He is safe isn't he?
SCAMMO:
Sure he's sweet. Long as he's wif me.
BEN:
A pit bull's rather an unusual obedience champion Scammo. How did you get him to perform so well for the judges?
SCAMMO:
I put 5 of my Prozacs into his Winalot chunks innit? But it's wearing off now.
A POLICEMAN ENTERS THE SHOT.
POLICEMAN:
Scammo Briggs. I'm arresting you for attempted bank robbery. You do not have to say anything but... you know the rest sunshine. You're nicked! Come with me.
POLICEMAN CUFFS SCAMMO AND LEADS HIM AWAY. BEN IS LEFT ALONE WITH SATAN
BEN:
Good boy Satan. Ha ha!
SATAN LOOKS AT BEN. HE STARTS SALIVATING THEN BARKING VERY LOUDLY.
FADE OUT:
WE HEAR MAYHEM ENSUING AS BEN SCREAMS AND SATAN SNARLS AND BARKS
BEN (OS):
No Satan! Good dog! Help! Help for God's sake somebody help!
FX_______________________________GUN SHOT
FADE UP:
BEN COVERED IN BLOOD AND BITE MARKS.
BEN:
Ah that's nice; the little chap's nodded off. It must be those Prozac kicking back in. Anyway, that's all we have time for so from Crufts it's Goodbye
END
