PIECE
Thursday 20th February 2020 9:56pm
Scotland
2 posts
Wooo!
I'm looking forward to doing a deep dive in these threads!
Thought I'd also throw down some of my one-liners that didn't make the cut!
I'm open to any and all the criticism!
Ep 1
BREAKING NEWS:
1. Mike Pence weighed in on the UK's decision to allow Huawei participation in the 5G roll out, which totally confused everybody from Newcastle who are still using 'Whey Aye' phones!
2. It was reported this week that a fox was causing havoc after breaking into parliament. The biggest scandal involving a fox in parliament since former MP Dr Liam Fox, doing any job. Ever.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
1. It's been a bad week for the movie Cats, which leads the way for the worst movies of 2019 in the 2020 Razzie Award nominations.
It's been a good week for ACTUAL cats, because lucky for them, we know they had absolutely nothing to do with it!
2. It's been a bad week for the England rugby team, with the challenge of playing Scotland at Murrayfield.
It's been a good week for the England rugby team, with the challenge of playing Scotland at Murrayfield.
3. It's been a bad week for the Oscars who have once again been called into question over diversity problems.
It's been a good week for Joaquin Phoenix. Who won an Oscar after a dramatic makeover, having painted his face white and his eyes, blue.
Ep 2
BREAKING NEWS:
1. A new Twitter filter has been launched to prevent users from seeing unsolicited nudes. Yet Donald Trump shows up on every second post, and that's an unsolicited dick pic if I ever saw one!
2. It was reported this week that half of Britons take their phone to the toilet with them. Meaning that the other half are lying.
3. Ex Conservative leadership candidate, Rory Stewart, had a lot riding on moving into No. 10. Now on his race to become Mayor of London, he's made the odd request to stay at random people's houses.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
1. It's been a good week for Harrison Ford who announced plans for filming Indiana Jones 5 this summer.
It's been a bad week for Indiana Jones fans who wished the franchise ended right before the professor climbed out that fridge!
2. It's been a good week for Hedgehogs, as Sonic hits No. 1 at the box office, proving not all hedgehogs hog hedges.
It's been a bad week for the underperforming Birds of Prey, proving a bird in the hand isn't always worth two in the bush.
3. It's been a good week for Planet Earth as construction of a new Tesla Gigafactory in Germany began preparations, aiming to produce their most energy efficient and environmentally friendly cars.
It's been a bad week for Planet Earth as they attempted to cut down thousands of trees to do so.
Take it easy folks!!