British Comedy Guide

Megxit

When Harry met Meghan and became seriously involved with her, a great many people must have seen similarities between their relationship and that of Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson.

It was unfortunate for Edward and Wallis that Britain and its government didn't take a slightly more liberal view of their relationship but those times were very conservative and in those days nobody was woke. The powers that be looked at Wallis and immediately decided that, when it came to making a convincing and appropriate British queen out of her, the task would be only slightly less difficult than making a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Times change, of course, and in a remarkable stroke of luck for Meghan Markle they changed dramatically just in time for her relationship with Harry to be conducted without anybody of any importance in Britain actually spitting feathers in public.

Not only has she bagged herself a handsome prince who, by all reports, happens to be an exceedingly nice bloke but he's also a bloke with some £40 million in the bank.

The girl's done very well - by any standards.

And now, she wants to take her nice, rich, handsome prince and his £40 million to America in order to start a new life away from the British royal family and all the obligations it places upon the shoulders of its senior members.

Not only does she want to do that, it seems she's going to be allowed to do it.

I say "allowed" but, in reality, there's not much anybody can do to prevent it happening. I mean, Harry doesn't need any money from the queen or from Charles or from anybody else. He's got £40 million of his own and, as if £40 million were not enough, Harry and Meghan are set to make megabucks (Meghanbucks?) in America simply by being who they are. Chat shows? Highly paid positions (but no actual duties) with huge organisations? The list is almost endless.

Unlike Edward and Wallis, I suspect they're going to be allowed to desert the royal ship without incurring any significant penalties. I mean, if Meghan were to do an interview with Oprah, the entire world would be tuning in to hear what she had to say. In particular, they'd be tuning in to see whether or not any accusations of unwoke attitudes were made against the royal family or against Britain in general.

You've got to hand it to her. This girl has come from nowhere and raised herself up by the bootstraps to become a TV star in a successful and very glamorous American drama series. Following that not inconsiderable success, she raised herself even further to become a British duchess and now, as she prepares to jump ship, she has the British royal family acceding to her every wish for fear of what she might do (or say) if they don't.

Love her or loathe her or be completely indifferent to her, one can hardly deny she's a most remarkable young woman.

Interesting times lie ahead.

Interesting if she dies in a 'car accident' .....

But he's not a king like the other one,big difference.
The only way he could get to sit on the throne would be for one of the corgis (and/or Philip)to get rabies and go raving mad biting everyone at a family do.

I don't dislike the royal family because they didn't choose the family they were born in to and it's very disrespectful of Harry to make this so public. If they were genuine about wishing for a quieter life outside of the royal spotlight why make it global news? He should have kept it far more discreet. I agree with them about all the media lies and speculations being printed about them day in day out but I don't understand why they can't clamp down on the pathetic excuses for news articles these days. They make a wild accusation about Meghan which has come from a mystery royal source that's never revealed. These tabloids have so many sources working for the royal family and breaching their terms of service by blabbing to tabloids maybe they should be exposing them instead.

Harry is such a high profile royal he will never be able to go anywhere without bodyguards and security planning. He will probably need close protection officers for life no matter where he lives. He's a target for a lot of naughty people and that isn't going to change just by dropping his HRH title.

Can these experts on family relations family relations off?

While I have nothing against Harry personally, he was responsible for the reprehensibly vulgar trend of people being Christened by abbreviated names. Harry, Jack, Charlie, Alfie, Archie, Freddie, Theo, Teddy, Reggie, Tommy, Albie, Frankie, Ronnie, Bobby and Ollie are all in the supposed Top 100 male names for 2020 when none of these names should, by rights, officially exist outside the Beano and Whizzer and Chips.

He then made things considerably worse by deciding to become the Duke of a fantasy county, namely Sussex, which as everyone knows hasn't existed since 1974 when it was formally divided into an East and a West.

Thank God then for McDonalds who in announcing that they are to complete their invasion of English counties by setting up a drive-in burger bar in the county of Rutland show how they do comprehend what a county is, even if it temporarily didn't exist between 1974 and 1997. One can only pray that it is staffed by men with proper names like Giles or Mohammed, notwithstanding that the spelling of the latter tends to be so variable it has never fully convinced.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 15th January 2020, 2:40 PM

He then made things considerably worse by deciding to become the Duke of a fantasy county, namely Sussex, which as everyone knows hasn't existed since 1974 when it was formally divided into an East and a West.

Think how the Duke of Wessex feels then.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th January 2020, 10:42 PM

Think how the Duke of Wessex feels then.

As you have asked me to I just did but to be frank I am more concerned about you.

You appear in your profile to believe that you live at or near some invented place called "The Sussex Coast".

Ah yes, but I lived on the Sussex Coast pre-1974. And, since I haven't moved and the coast hasn't moved...

Quote: john tregorran @ 14th January 2020, 6:03 PM

Has anyone considered the Canadians???
No..OK...

Apparently they hadn't:

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/royal-family/canadian-newspaper-the-globe-and-mail-slams-prince-harry-and-meghan-markles-living-plans-in-furious-editorial/ar-BBZ0J8Y?ocid=spartanntp

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th January 2020, 10:51 PM

Ah yes, but I lived on the Sussex Coast pre-1974. And, since I haven't moved and the coast hasn't moved...

So what you are saying is that when Harry and Meghan were given their titles, they were only intended to be relevant to folk now aged over 45 and the ageist element doesn't, of itself, make those titles redundant. To follow your principle further, there needs to be no consideration of Scottish independence as Scotland is independent already, irrespective of alleged fake changes in 1707. I'm now someone who has always lived in Surrey rather than being a Londoner as where as I was born and live did not after all become part of Greater London in 1965 when I stepped out of my pram. And erosion from climate change is a figment of everyone's imagination as the cliffs in your area haven't altered and every pebble on your beaches is in an infinite fixed location, On balance. yes, I do feel you have won the argument but will anyone else?

The emergency services appear divided (see what I did there?) on the matter of Sussex.

There's an East Sussex Fire and Rescue Service.

There's a West Sussex Fire and Rescue Service.

But there's only one Sussex Police.

I need more information. Huh?

Quote: Rood Eye @ 16th January 2020, 5:48 PM

The emergency services appear divided (see what I did there?) on the matter of Sussex.

There's an East Sussex Fire and Rescue Service.

There's a West Sussex Fire and Rescue Service.

But there's only one Sussex Police.

I need more information. Huh?

According to Bunter's Law, it's because Sussex Police were formed in 1968, that year predates the supposed changes in 1974 which didn't in truth occur, and they have never moved. I have personally seen this myself. On the streets and the downs there seems to be a lot of vehicular police presence, albeit the cars are Minis and Morris Minors with an original E and F year-based number plate, and beside all the ice cream and candyfloss shops there are masses of blokes in uniform who look identical to Dixon of Dock Green. But on closer inspection all of it is completely static. Law and order in that area is only maintained on the understanding that when its citizens note that the police are there, they generally avoid eye contact. So yes. No one, actually, has ever caught on to the fact that it is an immobile, if permanently successful, mirage.

OK fair enough they want to get out of the limelight but they should repay everything and pay their own way in life. Don't you agree Briosaid?

I am a royalist but the way the press, especially the Daily Mail have hounded H&M is an absolute disgrace. I don't blame them at all for wanting to f**k off and I wish them the very best of British (and Canadian) luck.

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