British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,126

The point is, he was the friend and associate of a known paedophile. The decent and honourable thing to do is to talk to the authorities about anything he knows about the Epstein and the things Epstein got up to.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 18th November 2019, 11:30 PM

But whatever, my own position is clear. If anyone ever seriously threatens the Queen so as to place her life in danger, I will gather up an army of a million people and strike them down. Because at the end of the day what she is essentially about is our national cohesion.

Flippin heck, Sir, me and Benny was only mucking about. Didn't realize you'd taken Gripper Stebson's oath of allegiance to Britain. I suppose you listen to Morrissey too?

Quote: chipolata @ 19th November 2019, 6:30 AM

The point is, he was the friend and associate of a known paedophile. The decent and honourable thing to do is to talk to the authorities about anything he knows about the Epstein and the things Epstein got up to.

Every legal and medical authority in the world defines paedophilia as a sexual attraction to prepubescent children: I am aware of no evidence that Jeffrey Epstein had any such interest.

I am also aware of no evidence that Andrew was a friend and associate of anybody who had such an interest.

However, I accept your points in principle that Epstein was a decidedly dodgy character and Andrew would be well advised to cooperate with the investigating authorities.

Quote: Kenneth @ 19th November 2019, 6:45 AM

Flippin heck, Sir, me and Benny was only mucking about. Didn't realize you'd taken Gripper Stebson's oath of allegiance to Britain. I suppose you listen to Morrissey too?

Only when he's wearing jackboots and preaching veganism.

Today, a newspaper often mentioned on BCG carries the headline, "Her Majesty's new annus horribilis".

I haven't read the article but I'm assuming it's about how Prince Andrew has ripped her a new one.

Do you see what I did there? Laughing out loud

Yes you used an American phrase, which for me was out of place given the subject matter.I found that the attempt to induce gravitas by the use of Latin phrases was lost having been diluted by your gaff.
So I hope you can see what you did there? :P

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 19th November 2019, 2:19 PM

Yes you used an American phrase, which for me was out of place given the subject matter.I found that the attempt to induce gravitas by the use of Latin phrases was lost having been diluted by your gaff.
So I hope you can see what you did there? :P

Everyone's a critic. :(

The University of Washington has discovered a photograph taken in 1898 of a person who appears to be Greta Thunberg.

It's certainly a person who looks very much like Greta Thunberg.

Image

The photograph has sparked theories that Greta is actually a time traveller, sent back from the future to save us from destruction.

I've got a very clever joke to wind up this post but experience tells me to keep it to myself.

I'm learning - slowly but surely. Laughing out loud

Quote: Rood Eye @ 19th November 2019, 4:10 PM

The University of Washington has discovered a photograph taken in 1898 of a person who appears to be Greta Thunberg.

It's certainly a person who looks very much like Greta Thunberg.

Image

The photograph has sparked theories that Greta is actually a time traveller, sent back from the future to save us from destruction.

I've got a very clever joke to wind up this post but experience tells me to keep it to myself.

I'm learning - slowly but surely. Laughing out loud

Sentence here deleted as requested, albeit it might well represent a forum policy change.

OMGwod

I hwave just wealised thwat Wewemy Corbwyn and Bwowwis Jwohsson are gwoing hwead to hwead.

So sworry to all of my fwarning fwans out thwere - but I must lweave for thweir cwucial encwounter.

I recently came across this old photo of a flock of sheep from 1066.

Image

On closer inspection, I was amazed to see the eighth sheep from the left (center) is a dead ringer for RoodEye. The game's up, mate. You're a time traveling bovid, trying to mislead the flock by incessant bleating about false alarms. Well, it won't work here anymore.

Centre. !!! Even in Oz.

Flipping heck, Sir! You can use all them fancy Latin, Greek and French spellings, but me and Benny write it like it's talked. Anyway, I don't even live in Australia. All them poisonous snakes the size of serving trays.

We went to a snake aware thing run by the local council last week.
Learnt lots of stuff,they are deaf and clumping about to scare them off doesn't do much good.They rely on sight and smelling with their tongue.They have no eyelids so can't blink and have always got that stare.Victoria is not too bad for nasties ,I'm more worried about the dog,really.She wants to eat everything.

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