British Comedy Guide

Shannon Hunt

A DETECTIVE AND A CONSTABLE STAND LOOKING THROUGH A STACK OF FILES AND PRESS CLIPPINGS.

DETECTIVE
I don't understand it. We've
organised the biggest man hunt
since the ripper and still we're no
closer to finding Shannon.

CONSTABLE
I could organise another house to
house, Sir.

DETECTIVE
No, we need a fresh perspective on
this. A new approach.

CONSTABLE
Well Sir, if I may make a
suggestion. I've taken the liberty
of contacting an expert in missing
persons. He specialises in child
abduction cases.

DETECTIVE
Good thinking constable. When can
he be here.

CONSTABLE
Actually Sir, I have him waiting
outside.

DETECTIVE
Show him in then. Show him in.

THE CONSTABLE OPENS THE DOOR.

CONSTABLE
Come in please.

A SLIGHTLY DISHEVELLED MAN, WITH A BUSHY MOUSTACHE AND
WEARING A SUIT ENTERS.

CONSTABLE
Sir, may I introduce Chief
Inspector Goncalo Amaral of the
Portuguese Police.

AMARAL
(Manuel/Fawlty Towers voice)
I know nothing....

DETECTIVE
(Burying head in hands)
Oh for f**ks sake.

END.

Before the inevitable backlash (remembering "Maddy" threads of the past), I'd like to say: I liked this, it's good. I think the set up could be trimmed, but the pay-off is neat.

(for those ready to condemn, please consider that the target of this sketch is not a missing girl or her family. Thank you)

Welcome to the pariahs club!

Not a bad sketch, but the punch could be stronger.

Detective says, oh well at least he's

Not Chris Langham
Not the child snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

I thought this was OK. Seemed like quite a long set-up, but it was still OK.

Thinking back to Chimes/Foxy's "Maddie" thread, that was a different kettle of fish altogether. It was defamatory, apart from anything (dangerous too, as the McCanns are clearly litigious!)

Doesn't bear any comparison, really IMO.

Quote: sootyj @ March 12, 2008, 11:35 PM

the child snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Laughing out loud
Lollipops...!

Quote: James Williams @ March 12, 2008, 11:38 PM

Doesn't bear any comparison, really IMO.

Yes, you are probably right - I'm just trying to help the mods and nip things in the bud!

...
LOLipops.
More concise.
Ho ho ho.

I had a very succesful skit in NR for 6 or was it 12 weeks, about Al Fayed being hired to find Maddy. May have posted it already, shall I bump it?

Yeah!

Quote: sootyj @ March 12, 2008, 11:40 PM

I had a very succesful skit in NR for 6 or was it 12 weeks, about Al Fayed being hired to find Maddy. May have posted it already, shall I bump it?

Described as
a) successful, so no need to bump

and
b) Maddy/al Fayed themed, so not topical.

Bump away!

I found it. It was embedded in another thread.
Apologies for hijacking; I suppose it's relevant.

Portugese police man giving press conference.

Police
We in the Portugese police force are very sorry toannounce the resignation of chief inspector Comandante, Totale Buffoon, who was leading the investigation in to Maddy MacCanne’s disapearance. How were we to know he was an incompetent,alcoholic, with a pathological hatred for the English. We have now recruited a new investigator,Mohammed Al Fayed.

Enter Al Fayed

Al Fayed
It was Jack the Ripper, who is actually Prince Philip, because she was pregnant with a Muslim heir to the British throne, and he made Cadburys bring back that revolting Wispa bar….I am Al Fayedand I will have justice!

Probably making a rod for my own back on this, this sketch ran for 6 weeks in news revue. It was written in the week that it was revealed the main Portuguese investigator was a racist, alcoholic who had beaten a confession out of a tourist the year before. It was also just as the Diana inquest was starting up in all it's over priced pointlessness.

Seriously in this skit I'm only interested in media hysteria, and mean spirited tourism focussed police officers.

I fear my initial response has led to diversion from KJ's sketch! Sorry about that. Any more comments on the sketch, anyone?

___________

Looking at it, it seems very similar actually - but I have to say, Sooty's seems more condensed AND has more laughs.

Quote: Badge @ March 12, 2008, 11:47 PM

I fear my initial response has led to diversion from KJ's sketch! Sorry about that. Any more comments on the sketch, anyone?

Is there anyone else online?

Shall we hold a séance?
Laughing out loud

I'm sure people will still comment on the original sketch.

I just can't find anything funny about a missing child, I would be suicidal if it was mine and totally distraught/insulted if there were sketches/humour about it

Cheers everyone for the comments...

It is rather wordy, I'm not naturally a sketch writer, I tend to write radio plays (unsuccessfully) and so have time to allow the characters to develop etc...

I'm just pleased you all got the Amaral reference, I had a horrible feeling it would fall flat as a pancake...

as for controversy and causing offence,you know what they say... F**k 'em if they can't take a joke...

kjs

as for controversy and causing offence,you know what they say... F**k 'em if they can't take a joke...

kjs
[/quote]

I believe that was Adolf Eichman's defence when he went on trial.

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