A Horseradish
Monday 30th September 2019 6:01pm [Edited]
8,475 posts
I love the taste of chocolate and the taste of orange but the combination of the two is a huge problem for me. But then brown's a weird colour. You wouldn't happily sit in a brown car. No one paints the walls of their house brown. In clothing it is often regarded as too close to beige and the 1970s. Yet it is a cast iron fact that brown coloured folk are more attractive though not necessarily in a sexual way. I used to regard that as a counter-balance but at my time of life what it means is a win-win. Pinkos lose but to what exactly? Something normal. They have been over-sexualised since the GIs arrived.
As one mate said to me years ago in regard to some female who had mucked him about for eight years, I can't wait until this bloody hormone stage is over. Have we really got to have another four decades of this? No. I said. Go and get yourself a tattoo to sort yourself out. Which he did and it was unusual then, even for a biker, Of course, he always regretted it and hated that I am entirely without tattoos, knowing it is a very foolish pastime. He stopped speaking to me after that.
And then there is the aspect that is the Brown Cow - a pub that I used to frequent in York much to the irritation of locals after the lock-in - but I was on my annual visit to Titsey a month ago with a mate. It is full of brown cows, literally, and as I said to him there has been a feeling growing in me since 50 that they have the most beautiful faces on the planet. Unlike my parents' gardener, I did not have my tongue permanently hanging out when I spoke. There wasn't any insinuation of wanting to kiss them or anything and anyhow I was in shorts and there was a barbed wire fence. But when they are slaughtered Titsey sells off the meat and my view is that we should enjoy food as much as we can before it all goes tablet.
Orange. Well, that has changed, of course. Once the epitome of moderation and balance and almost always the best type of flower although I understand blue eyed people tend to go more for purples. Shame. In their mix of sky and blood they are so often the choice of those unfortunate people with a mental illness. Now orange is that amber light where people are about to be told to go from forums . "So you feel as a lifelong LIberal Democrat that it was alright for an old crone to say that Mrs May should be shot by paintball in the groin. As one who is for womens' rights too, do you not feel that is somewhat violent?" "No, it's only paintball". "Oh yes, as opposed to what? Murder?". Silence. Booted off. Such is life.
Greta Thunberg has the most amazing scowl. She looks like she has never skipped lightly through a field of daisies like a girl as me and my mates often did (and we were all more or less real proper boys). We climbed trees while identifying birdsong, went scrumping in orchards and observed in thunder and lightning a rainbow as we gathered our newts in a jam jar. All the while, our cassette players booming out tinnily "Neanderthal Man" by Hotlegs. I told a mate that the song was the roots of a plant and he believed me but then we were all very young then. I doubt that any of us was older than 27.
She's pissed off. Gretchen Thumlaut-Gesellschaft for having her childhood stolen away from her. I've got news for you love. It never started. Partly your fault. Partly your parents. Partly the allure of having the audience of a goggle eyed Ed Miliband in awe. I would be furious myself in your position and I speak as someone who at birth was both zero and 32. I just thank the lord the zero bit was a part of the equation. She needs to spend a year mucking out on a farm and eating sausage at a campfire with stupid "lads" who insist on boxing and showing their willies to each other to rekindle her soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHjeuRwnSJY
