British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,766

Quote: chipolata @ 15th August 2019, 9:29 AM

I, and a lot of people, hold the door for men and women, and have never had anybody complain. I think the number of women who would actually complain about the practice are very few and far between and very possibly figments of Daily Mail readers imagination.

Or are the Daily Mail readers who complain of these imaginary sourpusses merely figments of Guardian readers' imaginations?

We may never get to the bottom of this.

Bottoms ???
Now we are talking Sun "readers"

Quote: john tregorran @ 16th August 2019, 12:46 AM

I had a baby seagull walk into my flat.Whopping great feet it had and looked very cute.Scouted around a bit and left,fortunately leaving no calling card.Couldn't go in the garden for a few days because of it's protective parents.

Struth! :D

(sorry about that - my wife is addicted to watching Bondi Vet and it's my current "catchphrase")

We get Herons in the garden and on the roof.
Oof they are big scary birds.

If you disturb them they fly off with their massive wings making a blood curdling noise.
They sound like the velociraptors in Jurassic park.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 16th August 2019, 7:19 AM

We get Herons in the garden and on the roof.
Oof they are big scary birds.

If you disturb them they fly off with their massive wings making a blood curdling noise.
They sound like the velociraptors in Jurassic park.

Ooer - you sure they're not Pterodactyls?

Could be, we haven't evolved much here in Yorkshire.
Gotta go there's someone on the telling bone.

:D And has the grazing on your knuckles healed up yet?

Americans who drop 'i's, but guess 'tis their specialty.

Unnecessary name titles..................just rang my doctor's surgery.

The receptionist is now called a "Trained Care Navigator" - haven't been in there for awhile now, so am wondering if you now get a demonstration in the waiting room of where all the fire exits are.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 21st August 2019, 3:02 PM

"Trained Care Navigator"

Pathetic.
And there was probably a "Nomenclature Adjustment Officer" paid £50k a year to come up with it.

Insurance company adverts that say 'we pay out on 95% of all claims
As if that is above and beyond their duty and somehow special.
I thought that was the sole purpose of insurance.
Are there some that pay out nothing?

People getting smug about finding a partner on Tinder. Can't be that difficult, that's what it's for. It's like going into a brothel and finding a whore. 'Got meself a girl to shag.' - 'Where?' -'Whorehouse.' - 'Awesome, dude. Don Juan amidst us tonight.'

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st August 2019, 4:08 PM

Insurance company adverts that say 'we pay out on 95% of all claims
As if that is above and beyond their duty and somehow special.
I thought that was the sole purpose of insurance.
Are there some that pay out nothing?

They don't pay out on fraudulent claims or claims that they believe to be fraudulent.

I understand that..
But what does we pay out mean?
Oh, I'll go with them...They say they pay out, no more of those who don't

F**king ITV and their money grabbing scams by any means.

Wanted to follow something up on their Hub and on being offered a "No Ads" stream Free, thought I would give it a try.

Yeah, give 'em your card details first and then after a month's free trial it's £4 a month or £40 a year - PISS OFF. Angry

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