I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,068

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 7th August 2019, 11:04 PM

If she was stopped before leaving she hadn't technically committed any criminal offence because it's only theft when you have exited the store.

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That's true.

My guess (based on standard procedures in such cases) is that they waited until she left the store and then immediately confronted her and insisted that she accompany them back into the store, where they found her in possession of a multitude of goods she hadn't paid for.

Under the circumstances, when she attempted to leave the store without waiting for a police officer to arrive, the store detectives had every right to perform a citizen's arrest - but it seems they didn't.

The reason for their failure to arrest her may be twofold: firstly she's a woman and secondly, she was (on the face of it) a Muslim.

At my own local supermarket, I've seen white male shoplifters frogmarched by store detectives from the store entrance to a private area at the back of the store in order to detain them pending the arrival of the police.

Women and Muslims are, of course, an entirely different kettle of fish and for obvious reasons in this day and age have to be treated with a certain degree of circumspection.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 8th August 2019, 7:23 AM

Women and Muslims

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I get the impression they're the bane of your life.

According to reports, some barmy bastard in London has attacked a copper with a machete after the aforementioned copper attempted to stop the man's van.

The copper's injuries have been described as life-threatening and he's had an operation this morning.

I describe the assailant as "barmy" because I can think of no reason why anybody driving a van along a road in Britain would jump out and attempt to murder a policeman who wanted to ask a couple of questions.

Clearly, this man had what he thought was a good reason and no doubt we'll find out what it was in due course.

According to reports, CAMRA (The Campaign for Real Ale) has banned all beers with non-politically-correct names and labels from their festivals.

Even pump clips showing scantily clad women have been banned.

Apparently, the beer industry needs more customers and as 50% of people in the UK are women, it is felt that by removing these jokey names and images, more women will be encouraged to go to pubs.

The world contains a good many humourless people of both genders and, in my experience, the humourless are rarely seen flocking to beer-selling venues anyway, even when the names of the beers therein are entirely unremarkable.

Is this really a marketing-based strategy or is it, in truth, just another case of pandering to the PC Brigade?

If I tell you that one of the banned beers is called "Dizzy Blonde", I think we have our answer.

Seriously, folks - anybody of any gender who refuses to go into a pub because it's selling a beer called "Dizzy Blonde" is somebody with a really serious problem of their own.

I have a home brew kit, hops malted barley the lot - even a pressure barrel given as a present but I don't know how to make it.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 9th August 2019, 11:25 AM

I have a home brew kit, hops malted barley the lot - even a pressure barrel given as a present but I don't know how to make it.

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It's easy! Ask me questions, or ask here:

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/forum/

https://www.jimsbeerkit.co.uk/forum/index.php

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 9th August 2019, 11:25 AM

I have a home brew kit, hops malted barley the lot - even a pressure barrel given as a present but I don't know how to make it.

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The instructions are usually on the packet of a home-brew kit, otherwise do an internet search for how to brew at home.

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I am about to put all my old brewing equipment on eBay.
3 Demi-Johns (?) = 1 gallon glass brewing jars
1 large stone cider flagon (2 or 3 gallons)
1 plastic 4 or 5 gallon cubical floppy container with a tap
1 corking device and about 16 unused corks
1 filter and 4 unused filter pads.
various plastic pipes.

For beer or wine or cider.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 9th August 2019, 11:25 AM

I have a home brew kit, hops malted barley the lot - even a pressure barrel given as a present but I don't know how to make it.

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But what are you going to call it though? Hopefully nothing too offensive to the potential drinker(s).

Quote: billwill @ 9th August 2019, 8:08 PM

The instructions are usually on the packet of a home-brew kit, otherwise do an internet search for how to brew at home.

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I am about to put all my old brewing equipment on eBay.
3 Demi-Johns (?) = 1 gallon glass brewing jars
1 large stone cider flagon (2 or 3 gallons)
1 plastic 4 or 5 gallon cubical floppy container with a tap
1 corking device and about 16 unused corks
1 filter and 4 unused filter pads.
various plastic pipes.

For beer or wine or cider.

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I think I saw one the other day where you just add water - and wait!

I doubt if the add water & wait tastes very good.

Normally for beer I seem to recall you had to heat the malted mixture with water then let it cool, add hops & yeast & maybe sugar. Put it in a jar with a bubbler to let CO2 out but no bad gasses in, then wait. When fermentation complete filter into pressurable vessel add a little more sugar & cap it... Then wait..

Usually ready in a few days.

Birds Eye may have to destroy 10,000 tons of peas after a video appeared to show a worker peeing on the peas as they move along the production line.

It has not been established whether or not the video is genuine (in terms of what it purports to show) but no chances are being taken while investigations continue: all warehouse stock has been isolated until the truth of the matter can be determined.

Thank goodness I buy Aldi's peas.

Emily Bishop and Norris Cole are set to return to Coronation Street later this year as Ken Barlow celebrates his 80th birthday.

Norris will appear in person whereas Emily will appear via a Skype video call.

I once showered Eileen Derbyshire with grated cheese in the BBC canteen but that, as they say, is another story.

"Emily will appear via a Skype video call."

Seriously??

Don't you mean by ouija board?

She must be about 107 by now

Quote: lofthouse @ 10th August 2019, 2:50 PM

"Emily will appear via a Skype video call."

Seriously??

Don't you mean by ouija board?

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I laughed at that - so "Well done, Lofty!"

Quote: lofthouse @ 10th August 2019, 2:50 PM

She must be about 107 by now

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You're not a million miles out.

Emily was 39 in 1968, so that makes her 90 in 2019.

Eileen herself, however, is a mere 87 (88 in October), which makes her about six months older than William Roache.

So what about the Epstein business? Am I the only one who thinks there are people breathing a big sigh of relief about his death - and on suicude watch, too?