The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler.
I like his stories a lot and have read them many times.
What are you reading? Page 5
This thread is locked. No further replies can be posted.
My good friend Bonnie Tyler is casting for 'Much Ado About Nothing', so I say, 'How's it going?' She says, 'Not so good.' I say, 'What about the male roles?' She says, 'They're covered.' - ' What about the minor roles?' - ' Covererd too.' - 'And the kids?' - 'Sorted.' - 'So what's the problem?' - 'I need a Hero.'
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 14th July 2019, 11:55 AMMy good friend Bonnie Tyler is casting for 'Much Ado About Nothing', so I say, 'How's it going?' She says, 'Not so good.' I say, 'What about the male roles?' She says, 'They're covered.' - ' What about the minor roles?' - ' Covererd too.' - 'And the kids?' - 'Sorted.' - 'So what's the problem?' - 'I need a Hero.'
And I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 14th July 2019, 8:48 PMAnd I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".
>_< Dunno if that's worse than MM's "joke"
The gorgeous woman who put new ceramic squares on my bathroom wall was Bonny Tiler
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th July 2019, 8:22 AMThe gorgeous woman who put new ceramic squares on my bathroom wall was Bonny Tiler
>_< Dunno if that's worse than MM or Billy's "joke"
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 14th July 2019, 8:48 PMAnd I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".
Thank you for brightening up my Monday morning.
My personal favourite (and I probably posted this before so coninue at your own risk):
Last night I made a pizza margherita for my good friend Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. I prepared the dough, tomatoes and mozarella and then discovered - OH NO! No basil. So I looked in the cupboard and found some thyme instead. I thought, It's a minor ingredient and he won't notice the difference - so I sprinkled it on the pizza... Mark and I have a nice meal and then I say, So what do you think of my pizza? He says, It was OK, I guess. I say, What's the problem? He says, Nothing; it was mediocre. I say, No Mark - if you have a problem with my pizza margherita, tell me! He says, No, it was just... It was just... It was just that the THYME WAS WRONG.
Wouldn't have thought it possible, but yes, they get worse 
Just for you:
David Bowie and I were watching Much Ado About Nothing when a female character ran offstage and dropped her purse. I said, 'Whose is that?' Dave shrugged: 'Could be Hero's.'
Yes thank you, we'll let you know................NEXT!!...............
And finally...
I told Geri Halliwell she had a clandestine relationship with my pet kangaroo. She wasn't convinced. She said, Is yer wallaby my lover?
Back on topic: I am reading the last collection of Richard Matheson's short stories. Engrossing, well-written and so readable.
"Pigs Can Fly" by Barry Cryer.................Now there IS a funny man.
And the people he has worked with or known is phenomenal from Max Miller to the present day.
'Why Mummy Doesn't Give a F**k' - Gill Sims.
But what are you reading?
'A Month In The Country' by JL Carr.