Items for sale, items wanted and swaps offered. All items must be real or imagined.
Please clearly head post with 'For Sale', 'Wanted', 'Swap offered' or 'Stolen to Order', as appropriate.
No 'air guitars' or 'air guitar stands' please.
The BCG bring and buy thread
For Sale
One 'caveat emptor' £500 or very near offer.
No refunds.
For Sale
Rare 1930s vintage Marionette. Excellent condition. £200 ono. No strings attached.
Boris for sale. Mileage and condition are whatever you want it to be. 17 careful lady owners, selling due to impending redundancy. Might consider swapping for a chocolate tea pot.
Free to a good home (was previously valued at £39 billion).
One fully negotiated, but unused, Brexit arrangement. Available with optional 'backstop'. Comes with a firm, but potentially flexible, use by date of October 2019. Has been described as 'Marmite favoured' by Cliché magazine. One careful lady owner - who always struggled to get it started. It has been offered three times already but sadly failed to generate any interest, hence the price drop.
The current owner is looking to retire but assures any potential buyer that it will only take a superficial name change to, say, the 'Boris bill' to ensure that it is eagerly accepted at a 4th and please god, final time of asking.
No time wasters Please - you know who you are!
If interested contact -Theresa, at 10 Downing Street, London. Note- mail will be forwarded on in the unlikely event of Theresa leaving no. 10.
For Sale or available on long lease.
Ex British military airports circa 1776. Now owned by US army.
Note - number and location of airports not stated. Also, please be aware the airports might be entirely imaginary - the product of an infantile intellect - so please take this into consideration when bidding.
Ann Widdecombe for sale. Comes with a free bag of hot air and some lose marbles. 25 pence ono.
Quote: Firkin @ 5th
July 2019, 3:14 PMAnn Widdecombe for sale. Comes with a free bag of hot air and some lose marbles. 25 pence ono.
25p? for God's sake, that's a bit overpriced!
For sale: 16 million voting papers slightly soiled with an X in the remain box.
Worthless apart from weight in scrap paper.
Buyer collects. 1p OVNO
Stephen, even as I write, there's a hit squad heading your way.
For sale - One old testament commandment £200 ovno, willing to accept Wowchers.
Commandment No. 7 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
The Catholic Church is offering this little used Commandment at a bargain price of £200 or the equivalent in necter points. A spokesman for the Vatican said "It has mainly been used in recent times in boundary fence disputes and is no longer considered relevant to today's dynamic 'God light' organisation".
One of a set of 10 this Commandment is described as perfect for revamping with a little work into an anti-trolling edict. If this sale is successful the Church may well make other Commandments available whilst re wording the ones it keeps towards being more advisory than prescriptive. For instance "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Is being changed to "It's OK to diddle the sister in law, but don't post the pics on Reddit."
Harvey for sale. Katie Price has outgrown her son stating he is too big for her to manage , hence he's up for sale. May swap for a small cute self maintaining one, with a proven track records at attracting the paparazzi.
'Swap wanted'
Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.
In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.
Quote: playfull @ 9th July 2019, 1:58 AM'Swap wanted'
Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.
In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.
Expenses?