British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,753

Quote: Briosaid @ 2nd April 2019, 6:07 PM

This sounds horrific. I may have suggesfed before but how about the local education authority ? Your doctor? Environmental dept (local authority)? Local councillor (who might raise it with education dept.)? Even, if you're really, really desperate and all else has failed, your local newspaper as long as you stay anonymous? I suggest all this because the school obviously aren't really bothering their arses.
And now my head is itchy. :O

Thanks...the thing is, I understand the school can't do much more than a nit letter these days, but, if I can see the kids scratching, so can their teachers. How can a primary school teacher/TA not be distracted by the kids' hands going up and down to their heads time and time again...because, when kids have nits, there's hardly even a few seconds between one hand coming down and the other going up for another scratch. Ugh.

Maybe It's a pity some of the teachers don't catch them - might promote some action. You don't know any good hexes, do you? :D

I think this nits problem is all in your head.

Quote: Chappers @ 2nd April 2019, 11:58 PM

I think this nits problem is all in your head.

Just ignore him, Old Lady Leg. He diesn't understand the important things in life. :D

P.S. if you do find a hex, use it on him too. That'll teach him.

Quote: Chappers @ 2nd April 2019, 11:58 PM

I think this nits problem is all in your head.

Well, this is the other reason why I don't have any friends (apart from tentatively voting for Remain and then being prepared to join a civil war for Leavers). If you tell people that you have never been married, never had kids, minimally did relationships, which drove you mad, they say oh you are a loser or were ugly or gay or grossly irresponsible or a psycho or how dare you never have had all the awfulness of a divorce. They have to have some way of justifying their position vis a vis your own position or else become suspicious, jealous, critical. It's sad because I couldn't give two hoots on what brings people into contact with me. I just look for people who are interested in something cultural.

Even more frustrating. There is no way that they will believe that you could have collected friends as in friendship in droves for three decades (which I did - late teens, 20s, 30s/40s) or that there isn't something sinister lurking. It wasn't my fault they all married or died or sadly became disabled or just plain boring as befits their age (that is most of them). Worse still, if you act as if you are 38 (which I do) and are 56 that isn't allowed. I do miss friendship, Friendship is a wonderful thing. All of this came back to me when I recalled that the last woman I ever spent some time with (an incredibly lengthy 3 months - I guess it was a relationship) mostly she disappeared for hours into my bathroom to remove the nits from her 9 year old daughter's head. It wasn't a huge issue but I questioned whether there was any point. And there wasn't.

Perhaps I should add that I was and am an only child. :)

My best mate Ray, father of three, 64 though very much younger, in Essex wrote yesterday: "Looking forward to another meet-up and Bob wants to come along too. I find it hard to believe that you haven't made any new friends in 10 years - you are such good company, never let the grass grow under your feet, and are so gregarious". :D

In short, I could never cope with getting on that ladder, it seemed like accepting a conveyer belt to death to me, and I couldn't cope with the concept of death, work was much the same but I did 27 years of it - enough to satisfy to my parents I wasn't an on the dole merchant, I had the protestant ethic but I really don't rate work, I think it's absolute shite.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 3rd April 2019, 12:43 AM

I find it hard to believe that you haven't made any new friends in 10 years

Why do people think it's important to find new friends...especially when it's very likely we've just reached a point in our lives where we've finally managed to offload all the old friends we just couldn't deal with anymore. I get asked why I don't go on Facebonk, because it's felt I'm missing out on joining in with 'friends'. I was told by a friend I see every few weeks that she was worried about me, because I cut myself off from everyone. Everyone? No...just the people SHE knows. I hate the assumption that, if you're not posting your life on FB every day, you must be just sitting there, staring into the floor until someone prods you (yes, I do that, but it's not all the time - toilet breaks, obvs).

Maybe it makes me sound unsociable, but I'm not. I enjoy meeting up and chatting nonsense with like-minded people just like anyone else. I just don't feel compelled to seek company for the sake of it. I honestly don't think I have the patience for it anymore.

My daughter is nine too, by the way...and, I have to say, if I did have a fella on the go, I'd still spend as much time as I need to combing out her hair and making sure she was nit free. It's just what mums do. Nothing personal.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 3rd April 2019, 11:15 AM

Why do people think it's important to find new friends...especially when it's very likely we've just reached a point in our lives where we've finally managed to offload all the old friends we just couldn't deal with anymore. I get asked why I don't go on Facebonk, because it's felt I'm missing out on joining in with 'friends'. I was told by a friend I see every few weeks that she was worried about me, because I cut myself off from everyone. Everyone? No...just the people SHE knows. I hate the assumption that, if you're not posting your life on FB every day, you must be just sitting there, staring into the floor until someone prods you (yes, I do that, but it's not all the time - toilet breaks, obvs).

Maybe it makes me sound unsociable, but I'm not. I enjoy meeting up and chatting nonsense with like-minded people just like anyone else. I just don't feel compelled to seek company for the sake of it. I honestly don't think I have the patience for it anymore.

My daughter is nine too, by the way...and, I have to say, if I did have a fella on the go, I'd still spend as much time as I need to combing out her hair and making sure she was nit free. It's just what mums do. Nothing personal.

It used to be down to Nitty Norah the school nurse but that was before the cutbacks,

You have a 9 year old daughter (the one I was referring to is probably about 129 by now) and a 2019 angle on social issues.

You shouldn't really have "Old" in your name but I won't argue against it if that is what you want.

I will just give you a "Like".

Like.

I remember there being a nit nurse at the various schools I attended in the 1950s, but as it seems I was never affected I was puzzled as a kid as to what this woman did - should I be having a nit that needs looking at and treating? Was I missing out? :(

When I was at primary school, I was familiar with the concept of "friends" because I'd read comics and books and seen various on-screen fictional representations. I really liked the concept because they were all so loyal and brave and dependable and thoroughly decent.

Looking around me in real life, however, I quickly realised that all my "friends" were nothing like their fictional counterparts being as they were, ignorant and totally thick without a shred of human decency between them. They weren't bad people: they were simply the sort of scum who would be disposed of in any self-respecting, religiously and racially egalitarian holocaust.

In the decades that followed primary school, I managed to find three or four friends who were decent people but they were all found in the 1960s and 70s. It is, therefore, true to say that I haven't met anybody worth a damn in the last forty years.

Oh the irony.
Those tin cans of food with the quick opening tops.
Some are impossible to open without breaking your nails and they often leave a razor sharp edge that you slip on to with the exertion and force applied of pulling the top up.

Someone has invented a gizmo that fits under the ring pull and lifts it off in one move.

We already had one..... A f**king tin opener

Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd April 2019, 3:37 PM

In the decades that followed primary school, I managed to find three or four friends who were decent people but they were all found in the 1960s and 70s. It is, therefore, true to say that I haven't met anybody worth a damn in the last forty years.

Is that why you came on here?

We're a load of miserable bastards too.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 3rd April 2019, 2:56 PM

You shouldn't really have "Old" in your name but I won't argue against it if that is what you want.

The truth is, I wanted to use the name 'Old Lady's Leg' (for a kind of weird & fairly sinister reason that doesn't need sharing with the nice people of this forum at this point), but the registration system wouldn't let me have an apostrophe and I was not prepared to go with either 'Old Ladys Leg' or 'Old Ladies Leg'...or any other variation without an apostrophe that would look wrong...and I'm sure you're very glad you know that now. :-)

Quote: Chappers @ 3rd April 2019, 6:01 PM

Is that why you came on here?

We're a load of miserable bastards too.

Not gonna lie...I feel right at home.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 3rd April 2019, 6:04 PM

The truth is, I wanted to use the name 'Old Lady's Leg' (for a kind of weird & fairly sinister reason that doesn't need sharing with the nice people of this forum at this point), but the registration system wouldn't let me have an apostrophe and I was not prepared to go with either 'Old Ladys Leg' or 'Old Ladies Leg'...or any other variation without an apostrophe that would look wrong...and I'm sure you're very glad you know that now. :-)

Not gonna lie...I feel right at home.

I have seen less convincing posts on this forum this afternoon. Herc appears to believe that there was a 1950s and that it actually existed. While this was rumoured sometime earlier in the decade, Parliament ruled via a Letwin-Thornberry amendment that it was a dangerous fantasy that should be erased. They wouldn't have got it through but clever cleverly tied it to a binding clause to commit 1.7% of spending to the war effort against the A.! robots and a further 1.7% to advancing the UK economy by manufacturing robots which are designed to declare war. On your name, OLL, all I can say is that I have images of knitting needles, a voodoo doll and that ridiculous advert for Wonga that was all across the internet for a couple of years. I do hope that these are wrong and you are referring either to a cut from a llama or some other enticing meat or to a little known technique on Strictly Come Dancing, probably introduced by Debbie Daniels..

Quote: A Horseradish @ 3rd April 2019, 9:40 PM

I have seen less convincing posts on this forum this afternoon. Herc appears to believe that there was a 1950s.............

Oh there was and I have the photies to prove it, AND let me tell you it was like living on a different planet compared to the cesspit we live in now.
I could go on at length about how much better it was then, but I won't and just keep my very, very happy memories and thank God I wasn't born any later - for one thing I was at the prime of my life in the fabulous 1960s. Cool

Yes, I always say I was born at the right time (even managed to qualify for the state pension at 65 while friends who were born just 6 months later have to wait another 15 months ).

I remember shortly before I retired - by which time proper work had been replaced by daily meetings, IT issues, diversity training, meaningless targets & constant appraisal - a group of - what can only be described as - young people were being shown around the office. I said, do they realise they've got another 55 years of this nonsense. Doesn't bear thinking about.

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