A Horseradish
Thursday 28th March 2019 11:08pm [Edited]
8,475 posts
Quote: Rood Eye @ 28th March 2019, 8:23 PM
I think you'll find that, before very long, London itself will have become London's biggest ever zoo.
Well, this is certainly true although Southampton is the place that takes the biscuit.
In 36 hours:
1. The 73 year old bloke who could hardly walk and talk who joined me for breakfast at the B and B to say that he was on bail for allegedly hitting his wife although her story kept changing. First it was a metal bar, then a hammer, then a builder's mallet.
2. The bloke immediately outside - a father of nine, born 1964 - and totally out of it all the time, wandering up and down that street 24/7 and who threw his arms around me on four occasions as I tried to leave, telling me I was ugly but a great bloke and he would only let me go if I agreed to listen to him playing Danny Boy on the harmonica which I did four times.
3. Going round the perimeter of West Quay shopping centre just after 10am, just two people there, a middle aged oriental bloke and me - his eyes contorted with rage on seeing me and he gave me anti-semitic abuse - I have a big nose but actually am not Jewish and was supporting the Saints against Spurs the previous day.
4. Random youths selling drugs behind St Mary's just before 11am. "Could you tell me the way to the river" I asked. Totally ignored.
5. Bench at a shopping centre, Sunday midday - a lovely 90 year old man decides he wants to talk to me about the war and he is genuinely interesting. His daughter-in-law is fine and buys into it. His son stands up and says to me "thanks very much - it is time for you to go" and he is left handed, holds out his left hand to shake my hand as a goodbye so that I have to shake his by the left feeling uncomfortable being right handed.
6. Man Utd v Arsenal on a big screen. Watch the game with six friendly Dutch blokes who no one else talks to. I try to engage two blokes of about 20 in basic talk. The white one says "would you please leave me and my best friend to be on our own".
7. Ratty bloke selling tickets at Southampton Central. "So you want a return to Lulworth - travelling now and coming back at 11am". No, I say politely, "much later than 11am". "Don't you get it" he rages "after 11am - are you thick?". I ask him to be civil and he reddens - he's obviously been like that before to many in his life and has never been confronted by an attempt at superiority. (to be frank superiority doesn't suit me and I struggle with it - if I am its last representative then we really have a problem)
8. SW Rail bloke carrying bags for a very old lady on the platform. "I can't do all of this - once you have sat down, that's my lot".
9. Group of students sprawled out on the terrace at the Giddy Bridge talking about Jews along the lines of "I don't mind them but". Seeing I was the only other person there, I assumed it was a parade for my benefit. The smug C of E ness in me (there is no Jewish in me whatsoever but I did get this kind of thing in the 1970s because I look as if I am) sat there listening to it knowing the truth and their ignorance. But obviously the main message was that Jewish people really do now have a lot to worry about which is a shame because I have in my time been so in with them that I have attended traditional Jewish weddings.
Oh and what a happy little world we have.
Give me the pandas any day of the week.