Quote: Rood Eye @ 2nd March 2019, 9:18 PMSadly, that narrows it down to Joan Rivers or Phyllis Diller
When doing some "work experience" for Australia's ABC TV, quite some time ago. I was assigned to look after Phyllis Diller for a few hours at the studio. She was charming and loads of fun. I had never heard of her until meeting her.
Phyllis was Peter Griffin's biological mother, Thelma, in "Family Guy".
When Phyllis shuffled off this mortal coil in 2012, Thelma followed suit, dying from a stroke not long thereafter.
For the sake of personal vanity, I should point out that I would have been something of a toyboy to Phyllis or Joan Rivers.
Quote: Rood Eye @ 2nd March 2019, 9:18 PMI think perhaps I need a woman comedian - but not some bitter, twisted, politically correct, man-hating harridan. She'd have to be of mature years and she'd have to be extremely talented.
Nothing beats someone who can make me laugh. Physical attraction is important obviously but someone who is easy going and can tickle my funny bone is most important. I like the film About A Boy where Hugh Grant joins a single parents group even though he has no kids as a way of meeting single women.
According to news reports today, Rowan Atkinson (64) has stolen James Acaster's girlfriend who is only 36.
If he can get a girl almost 30 years his junior, I don't see why I shouldn't be able to.
Oh, wait a minute! I'm not internationally famous and I haven't got £100 million.
Now I see why I'm not able to.
Whatever happened to taking your courage in both hands and asking the object of your desires out?
There's an app for that!
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 4th March 2019, 7:27 AMWhatever happened to taking your courage in both hands and asking the object of your desires out?
There's an app for that!
Or taking something else in both hands and save the aggro. 
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th March 2019, 8:53 AMOr taking something else in both hands and save the aggro.
I saw that one!
Going back to the thread though I did enjoy the dating and met lots of women in two different spells. No - not witches - and I have been lucky to settle with attractive women of my own age and spent lots of great times together.
Quote: Chappers @ 4th March 2019, 8:52 PMI did enjoy the dating and met lots of women in two different spells. No - not witches
The second sentence came as a great relief as, upon reading the first, I thought you'd been administering love potions to unsuspecting ladies! 
It's been every man (and many a woman)'s secret dream for thousands of years but I think you'll find it's illegal nowadays.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th March 2019, 8:53 AMOr taking something else in both hands and save the aggro.
Less mess, lasts for as long as you can be bothered...I hear ya.
A parent I used to talk to in the playground years ago would always bang on about the special Plenty of Fish events she went to. She would often retrieve yet another single man from such an event, only to split with him a couple of months later. I really don't think I could deal with that. I don't dislike men at all, but I'm more open to friendship with new people, rather than in need of a partner to keep as my own, if that makes sense. I feel lucky to feel like this. I don't feel I'm missing out. I meet up with a group of friends, men and women, to have a drink and talk nonsense...very rarely, though. They're creative people, but we don't work together at all. We just appreciate each other's humour.
I guess the hormones that used to keep me interested in the opposite sex have all fallen off now. Age has really helped with my shift in priorities. I mean...I'm less drawn to a fancy outfit in shops now...and far more excited about the prospect of a nice, warm cardigan...preferably with functional pockets. Why the fk would anyone stitch fake pockets on a garment purely for decoration purposes. It's cruel.
I've recently been contacted by a woman in Hawaii who says she thinks I might be the man she's been looking for all her life.
However, she accepts that my lifelong reluctance to travel beyond the shores of Britain may be something of an encumbrance as far as meeting is concerned.
If she were a 20-something babe in a hula-hula skirt and adorned with red feathers (one for the older generation there, folks!), I might suspect she was some sort of con artist but her profile pic shows a woman of mature years who is no great shakes in the va-va-voom department.
Oh well, if it's not to be, it's not to be.
I've also been contacted by a very presentable woman who seems suitably eloquent and sophisticated but, unfortunately, she lives about 70 miles away and I'm looking for somebody who lives around the corner. The woman in question qualifies for a bus pass but, as desirable as I may be, a 140-mile round trip on public transport may be a bit much to ask of her.
As I've said before, I'm not looking for a sexual relationship and, if she thinks I'm driving 140 miles just to have a chat, she's got another think coming!
Quote: Rood Eye @ 18th March 2019, 11:29 AMAs I've said before, I'm not looking for a sexual relationship and, if she thinks I'm driving 140 miles just to have a chat, she's got another think coming!
I'd rather travel 140 miles for a decent chat than a shit shag, though. Although, I wouldn't travel 140 miles for anything. Do you own a phone? She might be a great conversationalist...and at least you can put the phone down on her if she's a dickhead.
Isn't it obvious? You're ideal for each other!
Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 18th March 2019, 11:38 AMDo you own a phone? She might be a great conversationalist...and at least you can put the phone down on her if she's a dickhead.
Yes, I do own a phone but even if we got along well on the phone she still lives 70 miles away.
Plus, chatting to strangers on the phone is a total pain. It's even worse than chatting to people I know on the phone - and that's painful enough most of the time.
I don't mind listening if someone's got something important to say but I take the view that by contributing to the conversation I'm serving only to extend it. I'd rather keep quiet and let them talk themselves out.
And, of course, if I really want to entertain myself by listening to disembodied voices, I can always turn the radio on - and that's free!
Quote: Chappers @ 18th March 2019, 11:05 PMIsn't it obvious? You're ideal for each other!
I've just checked my map of Britain, Chappers, and I assure you we're not! 