Quote: Jee Knee @ 15th March 2019, 1:03 AMFor anyone who noticed one especially shitty entry in Newsjackipedia this week, well...it was mine. And I'm sorry. I wish it didn't have to be like this. And, if nothing else, it represents some of the most surprisingly hardcore editing since they went back and digitally removed all the f-bombs from Vera Lynn's back catalogue. The original was naff. A hastily written, lazy (if whimsical) space-filler. The broadcast version was...I mean, it's not even really a joke any more. Is it churlish to complain? Probably. But I am genuinely curious as to what more experienced folks make of this.
The original: 'Corbyning' - To do nothing at all whilst looking like you're doing even less than that.
The broadcast version: 'Corbyning' - To do absolutely nothing.I feel slightly vindicated in having mixed emotions about this by the fact that it bombed harder than the aforementioned Forces' Sweetheart.
Anyway, here are the rest of this week's efforts. I quite liked my other two Newsjackipedias...
BREAKING NEWS:
1. Hundreds of nursery school headteachers have marched to Downing Street to protest funding cuts. They were meant to arrive on Monday but were delayed until Wednesday because of nap time.
2. NASA has announced that it will establish a 'permanent human presence' on the Moon by 2028. Over 15 million people have signed a petition asking for that human presence to be Ed Sheeran.
3. Prince Edward has become the Earl of Forfar. Already the Earl of Wessex and an O.B.E., he will now be known as Earl Earlobe. [EDITOR: This is a Stupid joke with a capital S.] [CONTRIBUTOR: I know it's with a capital S. I just read it.] [EDITOR: No, that's not fair. That was something I said out loud, not something to be read by you.] [CONTRIBUTOR: Well, tough s***, pal. It's not my fault if you don't understand the format of this imaginary conversation. It's right there, three lines above this one. 'Stupid' - I can see it.]NEWSJACKPEDIA:
1. 'Idris Elbow' - The one part of your body that's sexy enough to be in a Bond film.
2. 'Dystopiary' - A sinister post-apocalyptic society with tremendous landscape gardening.GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
1. It's been a bad week for Doctor Who fans in Chippenham, who fell eight short of the world record for the most Daleks in the same place. It's been a good week for the eight missing Daleks, who announced that they had formed a new Independent Dalek Group and then went for tea at Nando's.
2. It's been a bad week for Thameslink Railway, which has spent 240 million pounds on trains that can't be used because the drivers can't see the signals or the track. It's been a good week for Southern Rail, which at last has something to aspire to.
3. It's been a good week for Kim Jong-un, whose party was re-elected unopposed to the North Korean parliament. It's been a very, very bad week for the one man at the Pyongyang branch of Ladbrokes who bet against this result 'for a laugh'.
I really like the daleks one - made me laugh. Also like the nursery one and dystopiary one. The fragmentation of personality comments are always funny. I agree with you and with Rood Eye. Your original was funnier..in tightening up the length they chopped too much and it was less funny. I think Rood Eye's abbreviated version is a compromise - shorter and tighter but retained the spirit of your original joke.
Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th March 2019, 10:39 PMHello B T F,
The last line of the first sketch is hardly a "killer" punchline, I admit - but I thought (perhaps wrongly!) that it worked well enough.
I'm always open to advice.
Thinking about it, it is as good as or better than some I have heard on the show. I suppose I was thinking you could add in something else too like a play on something like a chair not being a man (I know that is probably not funny as a suggestion from me but it ties in with the sketch). On the other hand - yes as an end to the sketch it could work as it is with no change, maybe.
