Quote: Steev @ 12th March 2019, 10:59 AMGo down in flames, that's my motto!
I think there's a good chance they'll use all nine of my one-liners and both my sketches.
Think big, that's my motto! 
Newsjack Series 20 - February 2019 Page 23
9 written and submitted this morning.
I really need to do these on a Monday night, when my brain has warmed up...... I'm not even remotely funny in the mornings. I managed one pretty good NJP, the other 8 are terrible. I just reread them and there's one that even I don't get.
That's me done too!
I found this week a real struggle as it's been a load of Brexit boringness and absolute horror in the news that there is no way I could joke about. Found myself going Ed Sheeran, nope, Ed Sheeran, nope, Ed, nope, nope, nope this morning. Then finally, something about Frasier. That'll do! Full set by the skin of my teeth. Fly my pretties...
No sketch this week for me. when we come back to do this, please remind me not to get very, very drunk on a Saturday night. It absolutely kills my brain all Sunday.
There was a tiny avalanche of silly news stories this morning, managed a handful in the end. Glad it's all over but enjoyed the challenge (as always). Good luck y'all.
PS..There's no way that's just a wildlife pond!!...but at least it's deeper than his lyrics #EdSheeran
Wow, can't believe that's over already. If nothing else I've met my objective of submitting the full shebang all six weeks. This show certainly gets you writing!
Good luck everyone!
Quote: TheTrashBat @ 12th March 2019, 12:07 PM9 written and submitted this morning.
.....I just reread them and there's one that even I don't get.
Quote: Danno @ 12th March 2019, 12:34 PMThere was a tiny avalanche of silly news stories this morning, managed a handful in the end. Glad it's all over but enjoyed the challenge (as always). Good luck y'all.
PS..There's no way that's just a wildlife pond!!...but at least it's deeper than his lyrics #EdSheeran
Yes...no way.
Nine off before work. Best lot so far but maybe that is not setting the bar high.
Did one sketch on the Eurostar strikes. Had to do it quickly and could not think of anything else in the time.
Good luck all.
Catch up with you in the rejects cage one last time this series. It's all good fun.
Update:
Read my one liners again. Not sure they are so funny now.
Always remember, it's no disgrace to have your comedy unappreciated by a group of left-wing liberal kids most of whom hadn't even started primary school when the rest of us were laughing at the Millennium Dome.
I wrote my 9 jokes late last night but decided to proofread them this morning before submitting. I'm glad I looked at them again because there was at least one typo or grammatical error in each joke.
I really struggled this week. This could be my third series in a row with nothing recorded, and fourth series in a row with nothing broadcast.
So my fingers are firmly crossed.
i think the biggest lesson I've learned over the course of my many arid seasons is that if you want to crack newsjack you've got to write for the show and not for yourself, which is something I still really wrestle with. sounds obvious, i know.
Quote: Danno @ 13th March 2019, 12:09 PMif you want to crack newsjack you've got to write for the show and not for yourself
Now you tell me!
I knew I should have dumbed it right down! 
Ha. Actually think the standard of oneliners has been very good over the past couple of series. There was a time when quite a few daisy cutters used to get aired that left all us try-hards scratching our noggins and sighing.
Quote: Danno @ 13th March 2019, 12:09 PMi think the biggest lesson I've learned over the course of my many arid seasons is that if you want to crack newsjack you've got to write for the show and not for yourself, which is something I still really wrestle with. sounds obvious, i know.
100% agree. If I write something that genuinely tickles me, it's unlikely to be anything NJ would touch.
I find the sketches, especially, to be a million miles away from my sense of humour.
Good Week / Bad Week:
It's been a bad week for me as the jokes I submitted to Newsjack weren't even vaguely funny.
It's been a good week for Newsjack because that's just what they're looking for.
Quote: TheTrashBat @ 13th March 2019, 1:04 PM100% agree. If I write something that genuinely tickles me, it's unlikely to be anything NJ would touch.
I find the sketches, especially, to be a million miles away from my sense of humour.
God, I'm glad to hear someone else say that!