British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,012

A young woman called Lucy Evans who, in 2017, began to self-identify as a monkey has been diagnosed with encephalitis - a condition which causes inflammation of the brain and can lead to confusion.

However, had she begun to self-identify as a man rather than as a monkey, her newfound belief would immediately have been accepted by all. Indeed, anybody with the temerity to suggest she was suffering from any form of biological or psychological malfunction would have been burned at the stake.

Why was this woman referred for medical treatment in the first place? She expressed a clear wish to reside at her local zoo among the monkey community there and should have been allowed to do so.

On what basis do we deny women the right to be monkeys while allowing them to become men simply by declaring that that's what they are?

This is a clear case of monkeyphobia!

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 22nd February 2019, 5:17 AM

The one good thing this f**ked up terrorism facilitator has done is ensure Corbyn will never be PM. The bleeding heart liberals all simpering about compassion need to be flown out to these war torn lands to see what the bastards did to their own people including the women and kids they're so quick to accuse the west of killing. They are way off the mood of the British public on this one, let her and the young warrior to be, stay in their holy land, we will never hear the end of them if we let them in.

On the other hand, I am inclined to think that the UK should clear up its own messes, so this woman should be brought back to the UK and tried for treason. If she is abandoned by the UK, she could go join some other terrorist group and be a worse pain in the neck. The grandparents can bring up the child; though they have failed to prevent radicalization of their own child, it is likely that they will be more vigilant next time with the grand-child.

Your Sunday roast may be killing you.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/feb/17/cooking-sunday-roast-causes-indoor-pollution-worse-than-delhi?

19-year-old Sebastian Walsh has been suspended from the University of Central Lancashire for saying in a seminar that he thinks halal meat is cruel and barbaric and that the NHS should not treat illegal immigrants free of charge.

I think it entirely likely that tens of millions of people in Britain agree with him. On that basis, his comments can hardly be described as controversial.

The university says he will be allowed back in September if he signs a good conduct agreement and agrees to attend a diversity course.

Sebastian has, much to his credit, told the university (politely) what it can do with its good conduct agreement and diversity course.

I tell you, folks - if the story of the Three Little Pigs were to be rewritten for a 21st-century British audience, there'd be no houses of straw, sticks or bricks. All three pigs would go along to the local butcher's shop and ask to be turned into chops and sausages and delivered to Mr Wolf.

PS. They would, of course, insist on being slaughtered without pre-stunning in order that they might enjoy the slaughter process right up to the moment the final glimmer of life leaves their bodies.

So moved by the combined RAF/ USAF fly past tribute that Tony Foulds had wished for on the 75th anniversary of the crash and deaths of 10 USAF airman who could have saved themselves if they had landed their B-17 Flying Fortress in the park that a 6-year-old Tony and his friends were playing in.

Instead they tried to land elsewhere but couldn't clear the trees that surrounded the park, and Tony had felt a sense of guilt that when he saw the airmen waving at him on that day, it wasn't in friendliness but to try and clear the park area so they could land.
When a monument to the men was built on the crash site in the 60s Tony spent the rest of his life taking care of it by visiting it every day. By chance the story was picked up by BBC's Dan Walker when he was out walking his dog and so the whole dedication developed from there.

Memories of my Father who spent 27 years of his life in the RAF flooded in and when one of the 4 x F-15E Strike Eagles broke formation to indicate the "missing man", well that just finished me off.

(Total antithesis of the scum low life that threw white paint over the Bomber Command monument recently in London)

The son of a detective inspector in the Cheshire Police failed in his application to join the force because he was "a white heterosexual male with no disability".

The young applicant lodged a discrimination claim against Cheshire Police under equality legislation and won.

In a ruling last week a judge criticised the force for treating candidates with 'protected characteristics' - including those who were gay, transgender, disabled, black or from other ethnic minorities - more favourably than the applicant, who was 'a white, heterosexual male without disability'.

The judge found the force had set the interview pass threshold 'artificially low' and candidates were awarded a simple pass or fail, which meant substantial numbers were 'deemed equal' when in reality some were much better than others.

The force did this so it could appoint officers from minority groups ahead of the best-scoring people, the judge said.

I'm all for equality and I'm all for positive discrimination in certain circumstances but - and call me unreasonable if you will - when the welfare of the public (and even their lives) are to be protected, I want the best possible people doing the job, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 23rd February 2019, 6:08 PM

when the welfare of the public (and even their lives) are to be protected, I want the best possible people doing the job, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender.

Agreed. The push to add women to infantry units is going to cost many lives on the battlefield. If they can meet the standards and pass the physical tests, then great. But lowering standards and requirements is a dangerous move.

Then there's this:

https://nypost.com/2015/05/03/woman-to-become-ny-firefighter-despite-failing-crucial-fitness-test/

Quote: Rood Eye @ 23rd February 2019, 6:08 PM

.................and I'm all for positive discrimination in certain circumstances..............

Really? And what circumstances would they be?

Quote: billwill @ 22nd February 2019, 4:09 PM

On the other hand, I am inclined to think that the UK should clear up its own messes, so this woman should be brought back to the UK and tried for treason. If she is abandoned by the UK, she could go join some other terrorist group and be a worse pain in the neck. The grandparents can bring up the child; though they have failed to prevent radicalization of their own child, it is likely that they will be more vigilant next time with the grand-child.

She won't be tried for treason though, she'll be told off, given a light sentence then put on a deradicalizing course, given a council home as soon as she gets married again and has more kids as she will and cost us a fortune on monitoring her activities and those of her kids when older. We will really never know if she still believes the bombing of 8 year old girls at a pop concert was a just cause as she thinks it is now, because she'll have learnt not to be so candid.

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The Amazon cargo plane that went down in a bay just off Texas nose-dived thousands of feet into about five feet of water. Basically, it hit ground. The plane was obliterated and the remains were found. The newsreader on the radio, here in UK, just reported this horrific crash and said the occupants are 'thought to be dead'. No...they ARE dead.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 23rd February 2019, 6:08 PM

I'm all for positive discrimination in certain circumstances

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 24th February 2019, 9:47 AM

Really? And what circumstances would they be?

When two or more applicants for a job are equally qualified, I'd be in favour of giving the job to whichever of those applicants had a "characteristic" that was holding them back in the employment market.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 24th February 2019, 11:43 AM

When two or more applicants for a job are equally qualified, I'd be in favour of giving the job to whichever of those applicants had a "characteristic" that was holding them back in the employment market.

Fair enough, but that rarely happens as too often the job/uni place/promotion/what you will, is given to the one with the "characteristic" as you call it AND has LESS qualifications, which is insane - I despair at the way this world and especially the UK is going and so glad I will be out of it soon and not see it hitting the buffers, which it surely will.

I cannot think of a nice way to put this - Theresa May is a f**king lunatic. God knows what she thinks she's doing. - she's certainly not pleasing either side and the country is well up shit creek.

Quote: Briosaid @ 24th February 2019, 8:24 PM

I cannot think of a nice way to put this - Theresa May is a f**king lunatic. God knows what she thinks she's doing. - she's certainly not pleasing either side and the country is well up shit creek.

Which country are you referring to?

Let's just get this Brexit done with.

These Political deserters seem to be allying themselves for different reasons. The Labour defectors are sick of the nutjobs running their party whereas the Tory defectors think it's about Brexit.

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