Bargearse Page 2

Quote: Kenneth @ 8th February 2019, 2:02 AM

9/10 for the sarcastically effusive review. I saw some of Bargearse when it first aired on The Late Show and thought it was feeble and juvenile. I do recall it being a hit with kids aged about 7-13.

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Isn't it great to feel that age and have a giggle every now and then though?

Quote: Kenneth @ 8th February 2019, 2:02 AM

9/10 for the sarcastically effusive review. I saw some of Bargearse when it first aired on The Late Show and thought it was feeble and juvenile. I do recall it being a hit with kids aged about 7-13.

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Isn't it great to feel that age and have a giggle every now and then though?

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th February 2019, 3:39 PM

I'm confused, or you're easily offended..................

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm9RUV03dc

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I'm easily confused.

Don't stress Herc. I live in Western Australia and we'd like to exit the Australian constitution and create our own country. Now that's stress that you'll never understand

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th February 2019, 3:39 PM

I'm confused, or you're easily offended..................

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm9RUV03dc

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I'm easily confused.

Don't stress Herc. I live in Western Australia and we'd like to exit the Australian constitution and create our own country. Now that's stress that you'll never understand

Quote: Aussie Matt @ 9th February 2019, 9:33 AM

Isn't it great to feel that age and have a giggle every now and then though?

Isn't it great to feel that age and have a giggle every now and then though?

I'm easily confused.

Don't stress Herc. I live in Western Australia and we'd like to exit the Australian constitution and create our own country. Now that's stress that you'll never understand

I'm easily confused.

Don't stress Herc. I live in Western Australia and we'd like to exit the Australian constitution and create our own country. Now that's stress that you'll never understand

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I think Ken and I got it the first time............................

And WOW! Will you rename it West Wales say and have your own language like the Welsh do, look you?

No, we won't be doing that

Just had a proper look at a map of Australia - didn't realise how big Western Australia is. That is a serious bit of land!

There is allegedly a North/South divide in England (which doesn't affect us if there is, here in East Anglia) - so is there a West/East divide in Australia?

It makes me realise how tiny Britain is when compared with countries like Australia and Russia. I would like the warm climate and chillaxed lifestyle of Oz but there is no way I could handle the spiders you get there. Those Hunstman spiders are the size of a dinner plate and I would be terrified of seeing one in my bedroom.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 11th February 2019, 8:15 PM

I would like the warm climate

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Not me! Give me our seasons anytime over that. I'm at a complete loss as to why people like permanent heat but I agree that everything they have that has more than two legs or crawls is deadly poisonous........................oh and f**king great things with big teeth in the sea, and why is it so Americanised? Have they no shame!

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 11th February 2019, 8:15 PM

It makes me realise how tiny Britain is when compared with countries like Australia and Russia. I would like the warm climate and chillaxed lifestyle of Oz but there is no way I could handle the spiders you get there. Those Hunstman spiders are the size of a dinner plate and I would be terrified of seeing one in my bedroom.

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Australia has seasons, so it is not hot all-year-round. While it has some tropical regions, it is not a tropical country. For example, average annual temperature in Melbourne ranges from 7 degrees Celsius to 26 degrees Celsius.
Most Australian spiders are harmless. Huntsman spiders are harmless and not aggressive to humans, they eat cockroaches, mosquitoes and other insect pests.
I pity you being served dinner on tiny plates or believing everything you read online. The so-called Giant huntsman spider lives in caves in Laos, not in bloody crockery cupboards in Canberra or bloody Jimmy Tarbuck's tavern in Townsville.
Over-the-top fear of harmless spiders is pathetic. It's just ingrained, stupid, childish attention-seeking.
Even the dangerous "red-back" spiders are rarely lethal. I've had bites to my hand and foot. They cause swelling and some numb pain, but not death.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 11th February 2019, 11:30 PM

Not me! Give me our seasons anytime over that. I'm at a complete loss as to why people like permanent heat but I agree that everything they have that has more than two legs or crawls is deadly poisonous........................oh and f**king great things with big teeth in the sea, and why is it so Americanised? Have they no shame!

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I haven't lived in Oz for several years now, but wasn't aware of any overt creeping Americanization last time I visited. It's certainly dumbing down and going more PC the way the rest of the world, and now likely has a growing conservative movement opposed to immigration. Last time I checked, they voted to remain part of the Commonwealth, rather than become a republic with a president, and no one I know of there plays f**king grid iron or adopts an American accent. Americanized spellings are for simplicity's sake. Rather than sticking with the Frog spelling of "programme".

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 10th February 2019, 6:45 AM

so is there a West/East divide in Australia?

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No. Hardly anyone lives in the West. Cos it's hot and dry and there's not much there. Except minerals. So there is a large mining community and the mining sector contributes to a lot of national tax dollars. Eastern Australian mainlanders are more likely to mock Tasmanians as being in-bred hicks (rather than thinking of mocking crow-eaters or sand-gropers), though every large city has its outer enclaves of uncouth.

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 7:11 AM

I haven't lived in Oz for several years now, but wasn't aware of any overt creeping Americanization last time I visited. It's certainly dumbing down and going more PC the way the rest of the world, and now likely has a growing conservative movement opposed to immigration. Last time I checked, they voted to remain part of the Commonwealth, rather than become a republic with a president, and no one I know of there plays f**king grid iron or adopts an American accent. Americanized spellings are for simplicity's sake. Rather than sticking with the Frog spelling of "programme".

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Dollar?
So, what was the matter with retaining the Pound as we did in the UK in 1971 after decimalisation (SHOULD have been based on the 10/- as everyone suggested, but no the government barged on, causing much confusion - but that's another story)
And I quote from Wiki :-
With pounds, shillings and pence to be replaced by decimal currency on 14 February 1966, many names for the new currency were suggested. In 1963, the then-Prime Minister of Australia, Robert Menzies, a monarchist, wished to name the currency the royal. Other proposed names from a public naming competition included more exotic suggestions such as the austral, the oz, the boomer, the roo, the kanga, the emu, the koala, the digger, the zac, the kwid, the dinkum, and the ming (Menzies' nickname). Menzies' influence resulted in the selection of the royal, and trial designs were prepared and printed by the Reserve Bank of Australia. Australian treasurer and future Prime Minister, Harold Holt, announced the decision in Parliament on 5 June 1963. The royal would be subdivided into 100 cents, but the existing names shilling, florin and crown would be retained for the 10-cent, 20-cent and 50-cent coins respectively. The name royal for the currency proved very unpopular, with Holt and his wife even receiving death threats. On 24 July Holt told the Cabinet the decision had been a "terrible mistake" and it would need to be revisited. On 18 September Holt advised Parliament that the name was to be the dollar, of 100 cents.
"The name royal for the currency proved very unpopular, with Holt and his wife even receiving death threats." - Nice people

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 7:11 AM

Australia has seasons, so it is not hot all-year-round. While it has some tropical regions, it is not a tropical country. For example, average annual temperature in Melbourne ranges from 7 degrees Celsius to 26 degrees Celsius.

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That's as maybe but they still don't have winters, thank you very much I STILL wouldn't want to live there - you can stuff it.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 12th February 2019, 10:56 AM

That's as maybe but they still don't have winters

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In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?

A friend of mine visited Australia recently. He took a taxi from the airport to his hotel and, as you would, he was looking out of the taxi window every inch of the way.

Now, I can scarcely believe it and I doubt very much whether many people on BCG will believe it but . . . are you ready for this? Are you ready? There wasn't a kangaroo in sight!

Needless to say, upon arriving at his hotel room, he picked up the phone and demanded to be connected to Bargearse who he was sure would immediately launch a full-scale investigation into the mystery.

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 11:15 AM

In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?

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Not in the Australian sense no, thank God! I love my temperate summers thank you very much and if there's an enormous downpour in the middle of it, say July or August, that's fine with me too as the freshness and relief from all the uncomfortable stickiness is wonderful.

Today is a gloriously sunny and chilly one and reminds me that my favourite time of the year is only just around the corner - SPRING!! You can't beat it. When those natural primroses poke their heads through the leafmould it raises my heart and is the best tonic in the world, as far as I am concerned.

No, you can keep your tropical "paradises" - give me this green and pleasant land anytime.

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 7:11 AM

I pity you being served dinner on tiny plates or believing everything you read online. The so-called Giant huntsman spider lives in caves in Laos, not in bloody crockery cupboards in Canberra or bloody Jimmy Tarbuck's tavern in Townsville.Over-the-top fear of harmless spiders is pathetic. It's just ingrained, stupid, childish attention-seeking. Even the dangerous "red-back" spiders are rarely lethal. I've had bites to my hand and foot. They cause swelling and some numb pain, but not death.

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Are you actually calling me pathetic, childish and attention seeking? Just because Huntsman spiders don't naturally live in peoples homes doesn't mean they never wander in to them. There are videos of them on youtube in peoples homes and while most are not as big as a standard sized dinner plate I've seen some with such long legs they have a similar diameter. In the UK spiders are much smaller so it would be understandable for someone from the UK visiting Australia to be freaked out by much larger spiders regardless of them being venomous or not.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 12th February 2019, 12:28 PM

you can keep your tropical "paradises"

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Right, because an average low temperature of 7 degrees Celsius for a month is "tropical". See the below map? Most Australians live in the areas marked green, where the climate is not tropical.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 12th February 2019, 1:39 PM

Are you actually calling me pathetic, childish and attention seeking?

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Absolutely. Irrational fear of harmless spiders is dumb. Claiming that you wouldn't visit Australia because of a spider that lives in caves in Laos... Being freaked out by something that isn't going to hurt you means you have been brainwashed. Posting proudly about an irrational fear is akin to a little child shrieking loudly when they see a harmless bug. It's addictive attention-seeking. It's time to put a stop to these racist, size-ist misconceptions against spiders.

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 5:15 PM

Right, because an average low temperature of 7 degrees Celsius for a month is "tropical". See the below map? Most Australians live in the areas marked green, where the climate is not tropical.

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OK Mr Pedant, so I was generalising, yet you're allowed to say "In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?" then - hypocrisy to boot.
Cut out the "tropical" then, it still doesn't make it some sort of paradise as a lot of the population seem to want to boast about.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 12th February 2019, 11:50 PM

OK Mr Pedant, so I was generalising, yet you're allowed to say "In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?" then - hypocrisy to boot.
Cut out the "tropical" then, it still doesn't make it some sort of paradise as a lot of the population seem to want to boast about.

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"In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?" was just to draw attention to the error of "Australia doesn't have winters".

I have never boasted nor suggested Australia is a paradise. I don't live there. It is a generally pleasant place though.

The sad coda to all this is that Police Detective Bargearse died after being bitten by a huntsman spider the size of a small planet. Still, one swallow doesn't make a spring. Australia doesn't even have a spring, what?