British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,004

Quote: Rood Eye @ 4th January 2019, 1:34 PM

a body is a body regardless of what's going on inside its head.

Is that your current chat up line ? Or is it off an army recruitment poster ?

I think the Army posters are quiet clever. Their main aim it to get you to look, get you talking. Its hit most the national news outlets , that's free advertising. Looks like they're targeting youngsters (and their parents) struggling for purpose in life, worried about wasting their life on computer games or being the class clown. I doubt they're trying to flip pacifists.

Quote: DaButt @ 4th January 2019, 2:19 PM

The chances of being killed are actually quite small. Even in the bloodbath that was World War 2, British troops had less than a 1 in 15 chance of dying. Our modern conflicts have proven far less lethal.

The UK lost 636 men and women during the 17 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan. During their worst year, 2009, there were 109 deaths. That's 2 deaths per week, which isn't exactly carnage on a massive scale.

The United States lost 6980 troops during 17 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan, an average of 410 per year. The U.S. military averages 355 motor vehicle deaths per year and about 275 suicides per year.

Great the way you reel off these figures. Just numbers to you but valued humans to their kin.

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th January 2019, 7:26 PM

Great the way you reel off these figures. Just numbers to you but valued humans to their kin.

Great the way you reel off death wishes for Donald Trump and assorted Tories. Just politicians to you but valued humans to their kin.

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Quote: DaButt @ 4th January 2019, 8:05 PM

Great the way you reel off death wishes for Donald Trump and assorted Tories. Just politicians to you but valued humans to their kin.

They're evil, unlike the poor sods who sign up in ignorance. Doubt if anybody but you, that I know, would grieve if somebody put a bullet in Trump. I'm ashamed that he has Scottish blood. And so are many of the people in Lewis. The poor sods who volunteer have no control over their fate but politicians have plenty of influence and often use it for their own gain and not for the people they pretend to represent. Yes I'd be delighted if somebody shot Trump. He's a twisted immoral apology for a human and could bring about horrendous consequences for the human race.

I used to respect you as somebody who just had different views, but your support of Trump downgrades you in my opinion to an ignorant 'thing'.. Just speaking my mind.

Quote: Firkin @ 4th January 2019, 5:23 PM

Is that your current chat up line ? Or is it off an army recruitment poster ?

I think the Army posters are quiet clever. Their main aim it to get you to look, get you talking. Its hit most the national news outlets , that's free advertising.

No, the ad cost £1.5m. Extra advertising yes but not without the outlay. Military recruitment has been given to a private company on a lucrative contract with so far no success in getting the numbers up, which in a traditionally good time for recruitment, an economic downturn with stagnating wages and lots of graduates working in menial jobs, is considered a disaster. More expensive outsourcing which doesn't work. This ad seems to me their desperate last ditch effort at getting people to sign their lives away.

Quote: DaButt @ 4th January 2019, 2:19 PM

The chances of being killed are actually quite small. Even in the bloodbath that was World War 2, British troops had less than a 1 in 15 chance of dying. Our modern conflicts have proven far less lethal.

The UK lost 636 men and women during the 17 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan. During their worst year, 2009, there were 109 deaths. That's 2 deaths per week, which isn't exactly carnage on a massive scale.

The United States lost 6980 troops during 17 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan, an average of 410 per year. The U.S. military averages 355 motor vehicle deaths per year and about 275 suicides per year.

In warfare maybe. They're probably safer on the frontline than back home in the good old US of A.

Our military although I think it was just the army sacked over 800 troops last year alone for drug use. It's roughly the same every year, add that to the servicemen and women leaving voluntarily which is always high and the supply never meets the demand. The most intriguing thing about these new posters is they are based on a famous infantry recruitment poster, they have no trouble recruiting for the trade training non combat roles it's the infantry they have trouble recruiting for and are always short of.
So are snowflakes and playstation addicts really the sort of people that would make good infantrymen and now they've finally just announced that women will be trained for front line combat, infantrywomen? ie. the 'fodder'.

How fascists, racists, and totalitarians operate:

1) Describe your opposition as "evil."

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th January 2019, 10:12 PM

They're evil

Check.

2) Then dehumanize them.

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th January 2019, 10:12 PM

your support of Trump downgrades you in my opinion to an ignorant 'thing'

Check.

3) Then murder them.

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th January 2019, 10:12 PM

I'd be delighted if somebody shot Trump

Check.

4) Justify the murders by pointing to what your enemies *might* have done.

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th January 2019, 10:12 PM

(Trump) could bring about horrendous consequences for the human race.

Check.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 4th January 2019, 11:37 PM

now they've finally just announced that women will be trained for front line combat

Has your nation's military fallen for this madness like mine has? They know it's a mistake, but they've charged ahead due to political correctness. Their mistake will kill untold numbers of men and women in future battles.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 4th January 2019, 11:37 PM

women will be trained for front line combat

Women, to their eternal credit, are totally unsuited to front-line combat.

If you've got a group of women soldiers in the trenches exchanging fire with the enemy and one of them takes a bullet to the head that splatters her brains all over the girl next to her, the girl next to her is highly likely to look down at the mess on her uniform, then imagine what her hair and face must look like and say "You know what? F**k this! I'm going home!"

Quote: DaButt @ 5th January 2019, 5:10 PM

How fascists, racists, and totalitarians operate:

1) Describe your opposition as "evil."

Check.

2) Then dehumanize them.

Check.

3) Then murder them.

Check.

4) Justify the murders by pointing to what your enemies *might* have done.

Check.

Has your nation's military fallen for this madness like mine has? They know it's a mistake, but they've charged ahead due to political correctness. Their mistake will kill untold numbers of men and women in future battles.

Da Butt, you're quite unbelievably ignorant. You boast about your high IQ, but I still haven't seen any evidence. How many degrees have you? Where from? What subjects? I've avoided posting this before because I didn't want to embarrass you.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 8:49 PM

Da Butt, you're quite unbelievably ignorant.

The word "ignorant" shares a common origin with the word "ignore" and that is exactly what you have done. You ignored my post about dehumanizing and murdering those with whom you do not agree, and instead decided to question my IQ:

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 8:49 PM

You boast about your high IQ, but I still haven't seen any evidence.

I don't boast and I have no obligation to prove my IQ to you, but I'll do so if you're willing to pay for it. Mensa is an international organization with membership open to the top 2% of the population, IQ-wise. My SAT (college admissions test) score is sufficient for admission.

https://www.us.mensa.org/join/testscores/qualifying-test-scores/

They charge $60 to evaluate the test score and I assume the testing organization will charge a small fee to release the score, and there is a yearly membership fee for Mensa. If you'll pay the fees, I'll prove to you that my IQ is in the top 2% of the population. To make it a fair deal, if you pay for it and I fail to qualify for membership, I'll pay you back double. Do we have a deal?

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 8:49 PM

How many degrees have you? Where from? What subjects?

Anyone with half a brain knows that having a degree is not necessarily an indicator of intelligence. Your nemesis Donald Trump has a degree from an Ivy League university, so does that automatically make him intelligent in your eyes? I know people with degrees who can't write a coherent paragraph. I know people with degrees who admitted that they cheated their way through university. I've been served coffee by baristas with multiple graduate degrees.

Having a college degree means that a person attended classes, paid tuition, and met the standards for graduation. It is in no way a certain indicator of intelligence. My ex-girlfriend has 5 degrees, including a PhD. She was fond of saying, "They'll give anyone a PhD if they are willing to pay for it."

I attended the University of Florida for 3 years and was enrolled in the Electrical Engineering degree program. I took several semesters of calculus, differential equations, physics, digital design, etc. and did very well. However, I was a 29-year-old single parent with sole custody of preschool-aged children and I eventually withdrew for financial and childcare reasons. Sometimes a professor would change the class meeting time to 8 PM and I had nobody to watch my kids. I was surviving on student loans and veteran benefits, but I didn't receive any funds until I'd already taken half of my final exams in what turned out to be my final semester. So I bailed out with nothing but an Associate Degree.

I love going to school and learning, and I always do well. If it weren't so expensive, I'd stay in school until I die. So if you're feeling especially generous, feel free to pay for my tuition and I'll get all of the degrees you'd like. ;)

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 8:49 PM

I've avoided posting this before because I didn't want to embarrass you.

The whole point of your post is trying to embarrass me, but you've failed. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, and I'm quite confident in my intelligence.

As usual we get the Mensa shit. Pay for it and you'll get Mensa - they don't do it for nothing. Spare us the sad stuff about being a single parent studying for a degree. I got mine at 21 as do most people here. Trump? I'll bet it was paid for. An American of my close acquaintance reckons we don't have a clue here about corruption compared to the US. Britain might be in a mess re Brexit at the moment but look what your arsehole Trump is doing to your country. How are all these poor souls expected to survive without wages because he's crazed with pandering to the redbecjs (for votes) with a silly wall? Truly I pity you. You're living in cloud cuckoo land and you don't even understand you're being taken for a clown.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 11:23 PM

As usual we get the Mensa shit. Pay for it and you'll get Mensa - they don't do it for nothing.

You're the one demanding that I produce evidence of my IQ, so you can be the one to pay for it. You'd stand to make about a hundred bucks in profit if I were lying, so your refusal leads me to believe that you know I'm telling the truth.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 11:23 PM

Spare us the sad stuff about being a single parent studying for a degree. I got mine at 21 as do most people here.

It wasn't a sad story. It was an explanation for why I didn't complete my degree. I started in my mid-twenties because prior to that I'd spent several years in the Army. Lots of learning there, too. Besides the shooting and explosions, I spent 60 hours per week for a full year in a classroom learning electronics, RF theory, digital communications, satellite communications, and cryptography. Fun stuff and it served me well for the next 30 years of my life.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 11:23 PM

Britain might be in a mess re Brexit at the moment but look what your arsehole Trump is doing to your country.

Hundreds of thousands of new jobs: https://apnews.com/f3925762c6f845dfab936b45c28b4176

The biggest manufacturing jobs gain in 20 years: https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/04/manufacturing-posts-best-calendar-year-for-job-gains-since-1997.html

The lowest Hispanic unemployment rate on record: https://www.cnsnews.com/blog/craig-bannister/hispanic-unemployment-rate-hits-record-low-december

He's also pledged to remove troops from Syria and Afghanistan is likely to be next. And all of the above came in the last week or two. I'm quite pleased.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 11:23 PM

How are all these poor souls expected to survive without wages because he's crazed with pandering to the redbecjs (for votes) with a silly wall?

Not sure what a redbecjs is, but I imagine people will survive just fine, just like they did during the shutdown during Obama's presidency.

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th January 2019, 8:49 PM

Da Butt, you're quite unbelievably ignorant. You boast about your high IQ, but I still haven't seen any evidence. How many degrees have you? Where from? What subjects? I've avoided posting this before because I didn't want to embarrass you.

Uni degrees are no measure of a person's intelligence. I've met many a grad with little general knowledge and virtually no initiative. On figurework without a computer or calculator most have been useless. I've met plumbers and builders with no academic quals who've been sharp as a razor calculating volumes or measures and solving spacial problems. And I've seen grads taken to the cleaners in pub quizzes. BAs are an irrelevance in today's world ime.

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