I wish you a merry Christmas, I wish you a merry Christmas, I wish you merry Christmas - as long as you're not a bastarding Brexit supporter. ( the wine is flowing tonight).
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas from a Brexit-supporting American.
Quote: DaButt @ 23rd December 2018, 9:23 PMMerry Christmas from a Brexit-supporting American.
Oh, booooooo! 
And the queen can stuff her Christmas message up her bum. Considering that, apparently, she doesn't understand what the EU is, she's in no position to preach to us about uniting over Brexit.
Merry breXmas everyone! I'm buying a enough booze today to last the next ten Xmases incase a bottle of Baileys costs 50 quid next year. It'll still be worth it to get those hair twiddling, touchy feely, cheek kissing, garlic reeking, bear hugging, affair having, till pilfering, croissant munching overpaid eurocrats off our backs and out of our pockets. Who wants to go to Paris anymore anyway, it'll be demolished by riots within a year. Happy Brexmo. 
Merry Christmas to one and all. Regardless of your views on cheese (we all know Lancashire is the best one).
A very Merry Christmas to The Remainers, a very slightly less Merry Christmas to the misguided Leavers, who still have time to mend the errors of their ways, like Scrooge.
God bless and merry Christmas
Metty Christmas regardless of brexit stance. My Christmas top tip is adding jack Daniels to baileys doesn't change the taste but it's obviously a lot more potent so handy to know if you want to get someone incredibly pissed. Assuming they're not driving.
As Christmas Day approaches and you have fun, do spare a thought for those who are sad and lonely and not enjoying the festive spirit. Do find someone who is unhappy, alone, and not feeling Christmas. Talk to the fellow, and tell him to f**k off out of it. Say, F**k off and f**k you and stop being so f**king selfish and spoiling all the f**king fun for everyone else you f**king f**ker, I mean ffs, you got 364 f**king other f**king days to moan, groan, gripe, whine and whinge, don't f**k with the only cool day left, you dickrash, make a f**king effort for f**king once. F**k you. Really. No joke coming. F**k you.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th December 2018, 2:25 PMAs Christmas Day approaches and you have fun, do spare a thought for those who are sad and lonely and not enjoying the festive spirit. Do find someone who is unhappy, alone, and not feeling Christmas. Talk to the fellow, and tell him to f**k off out of it. Say, F**k off and f**k you and stop being so f**king selfish and spoiling all the f**king fun for everyone else you f**king f**ker, I mean ffs, you got 364 f**king other f**king days to moan, groan, gripe, whine and whinge, don't f**k with the only cool day left, you dickrash, make a f**king effort for f**king once. F**k you. Really. No joke coming. F**k you.
... And later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some carolling.
God (or Satan, or no one) bless each and everyone of you. 
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th December 2018, 2:25 PMAs Christmas Day approaches and you have fun, do spare a thought for those who are sad and lonely and not enjoying the festive spirit. Do find someone who is unhappy, alone, and not feeling Christmas. Talk to the fellow, and tell him to f**k off out of it. Say, F**k off and f**k you and stop being so f**king selfish and spoiling all the f**king fun for everyone else you f**king f**ker, I mean ffs, you got 364 f**king other f**king days to moan, groan, gripe, whine and whinge, don't f**k with the only cool day left, you dickrash, make a f**king effort for f**king once. F**k you. Really. No joke coming. F**k you.
Do you know what, I'm beginning to think that wasn't an actual bona fide charm school they sent you too
The much sought after Christmas gifts from yesteryear - cutlery, a carpet sweeper, an ironing table, kitchen utensils & shoe polish for her; a pipe, cigarettes & a dressing gown for him; a cat-shaped telephone cover & a thermos flask for him or her; an atomic energy lab or some Foxes glacier mints for the kids:
Dear Santa
Please bring me some asbestos underpants, a lead bicycle and some luminous radium mince pies