Haha!
Viz Comic Page 19
The standard of the regular characters has gone downhill and the best stories are the double page, one-off stories because they can be funny throughout rather than waiting for a punchline. The one with the unfortunate dragon flyer is a good example and some others I can think of are a story about a ship ready to embark on a magnificent voyage and the whole two pages are the captain looking for the keys 
He keeps going back to the same place saying "They were here, they were FUCKING HERE". Another one has a similar theme and is a Star Trek Voyager type crew who spend the whole two pages trying to fix a computer issue. "It's asking for a password Captain". "Hmmm, I've never had to enter a password before Lieutenant so I'm not sure. It usually just starts up".
Major Misunderstanding can be very funny sometimes but not always and the standard of the readers letters and top tips has gone right down the pan. It's embarrassing reading some of the shite they will print now.
Aldridge Prior good in the new one (276). Bettaware Vikings good too. The ABBA stuff a bit feeble, apart from some of the Knewing Me Knewing You facts.
Agree that the stories can be a bit hit and miss, although The Betterware Vikings were funny. Where has the punny double-spread gone centering around a certain object/thing/whatever? Tim Roth's 'Grapes of Roth' was inspired.
The Jack Black stories that I used to ignore are now one of the highlights every time he appears. There's always a vicious streak to the caper that reminds me of Viz of olde. I miss the time when those Things were funny. Things are getting between us, Things are not working out etc....
Whenever I visit a charity shop I always check out the books to see if there are any Viz annuals. There never is which really pisses me off. The annuals are always a good read but not at full whack. F**k that bollocks.
I don't buy every issue nowadays but I always make a point of buying the Christmas issue as it reminds me of the Christmas comics I used to get when I was young such as Victor, Eagle, Beano and Dandy.
I haven't read Viz since the 1990s and, in those days, it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.
Quote: Chappers @ 30th November 2018, 10:41 PMI don't buy every issue nowadays but I always make a point of buying the Christmas issue as it reminds me of the Christmas comics I used to get when I was young such as Victor, Eagle, Beano and Dandy.
Mine were Victor, Beano, Beezer, Topper, Whizzer & Chips and my favourite Buster which inspired many a Viz strip in its earlier days. You're right about the Xmas editions of Beano and Beezer in particular, they'd always be festive themed with tons of snow and Xmas trees.
Viz is now pretty much a tired, by-the-numbers, formulaic, unfunny version of its former self. Just as lame as the Beano and Dandy and Whizzer and Chips always were.
What we really need now is a Viz spoof.
A Biffer Bacon parody strip, Masher Mutton, in which the family are nice to each other throughout the strip (despite set-ups hinting at imminent domestic violence and child abuse).
An Eight Ace parody, Dozen Diamond, in which Diamond the alcoholic wreck finally finagles five pounds from his long-suffering wife and she warns him not to spend it on beer; he goes to the cornershop and returns home with a loaf of bread and tin of beans for his kids' dinner.
The Slim Slappers, in which two slender women go out in search of booze, screwing and general malaise, but always end up unwittingly doing good deeds or with men not remotely interested in them.
Robert Relevant, a remarkably astute young man has simple adventures.
Fred the Feminist, a Geordie who has adventures with his four chums as they try rescuing women from seemingly chauvinistic situations, but their best intentions always backfire.
Filial Petey, a young boy in a sailor suit, he is always respectful to his mother.
Jerry Genius, the intelligent cartoon character.
Roger Mactor, the YouTube Reactor: An aspiring actor/comedian/game show host keeps coming up with great new ideas for YouTube videos. All of which involve him commenting on other videos.
The Sober Bakers: Two bakers make bread and cakes without getting drunk, despite perilous proximity of off-licenses and cooking sherry.
Roget's Tediosaurus : Readers submit hilarious definitions for boring concepts. Example: Poodlefunk: When a dog looks petbligged (qv) because its owner has fawnzarted (qv) for the third time that day.
Etc.
Quote: Kenneth @ 1st December 2018, 2:29 PMJust as lame as the Beano and Dandy . . . always were.
I used to read the Beano and the Dandy every week when they cost 2d per copy rather than today's Beano price of £2.75 per copy. It's difficult to believe that in those early days, you could buy almost 1000 copies of the Beano for the price of just three copies today.
The Dandy is now defunct but the Beano soldiers on and needs to charge more today because, in the early days, its circulation was around 2 million copies per week as opposed to around 30,000 currently.
The Beano was absolutely brilliant and the Dandy, although not as good (in my view) was still pretty good.
It's entirely likely that both comics plummeted downhill in every way as time went by, just as it's entirely likely that the once-sensational Viz has gone downhill in recent times. Be that as it may, however, at its peak the Beano was top-notch and easily the best comic in Britain. The Dandy was second best and leagues ahead of whatever might have been in third place.
I grew up on Tintin and Asterix. And Carl Barks. I didn't mind some of the very British comics that appeared in the Eagle Annual: Cornelius Dimwothy and the Blunderbirds. Dan Dare less fun. As for the Beano, the Dandy, and Whizzer and Chips -- all that stuff fell flat with me -- seemed massively archaic, lame and never funny to begin with. Hence, Viz was a godsend when it appeared in my local newsagent.
I like the thought of the anti-characters. In name or deed.
The anorexic virgins San and Tray (could be a real Viz story)
Finbar F**kwitt Doesn't pick up on any double entendres ....
I loved the Beano and my idea of a top Saturday night back then was getting under the duvet with a torch, curly wurly, hula hoops and the latest issue of the Beano.
I've been a loyal reader of Viz since the 90's but the last two issues failed to even raise a titter so I'm calling it a day. Needless to say, imagine my surprise when I realised its not as funny as it used to be.
I have subscribed for years and still find it funny. I don't really read most of the comic strips though, just the letters, fake adverts
And other stuff.
Quote: Kenneth @ 2nd December 2018, 1:11 AMI grew up on Tintin and Asterix. And Carl Barks. I didn't mind some of the very British comics that appeared in the Eagle Annual: Cornelius Dimwothy and the Blunderbirds. Dan Dare less fun. As for the Beano, the Dandy, and Whizzer and Chips -- all that stuff fell flat with me -- seemed massively archaic, lame and never funny to begin with. Hence, Viz was a godsend when it appeared in my local newsagent.
You must have had high expectations or been one of these kids whose parents had brought you up on/forced you to read Enid Blyton and by the age of ten had read half of Dickens' stuff. There were kids in my class like that. For us lesser kids comics were the gateway to literacy. And put into the context of the times, no computers or playstations, no mobiles or social media, no videos then even. Toys and books, three channel TV and the Saturday Matinee at the cinema were pretty much all kids had for entertainment and I still thought it was pretty damn good.
Comics were looked forward to and kept us quiet for ages, there were strips you didn't read, some you read but were rated average, but your favourites were read and re-read. All the above comics listed were read by the Donalds because so many of their strips were converted into naughtier ones for Viz. I'd guess The Beezer and Buster were the most plundered without looking into it. Gilbert Ratchet, Tin Ribs, Arseache, Major Misunderstanding, Oliver's Army, Spoilt Bastard and others I can't think of right now were reworkings of strips from those two great comics.