Looking to try my hand at stand up

Hi everyone my names tom I'v just turned 24 and really want to try my hand at stand up comedy but I could do with some help getting into the scene here's what iv done so far

Iv started writing my own jokes some are good and some could do with re working and the rest need to be taken back to the drawing board I'd say I have about 5 mins of material the ones that work the best are the story's iv taken from real life experience and made funny.

So iv tested the jokes/funny stories on friends and family and seem to of had good results so im looking for an open mic night to start with iv tried open mic finder but it's not gave me much luck iv emailed the local university but got no response as well as a good amount of googling and searching fb all I can seem to find is the comedy clubs in Manchester and Liverpool which are the 2 largest cities in my area I have however found 1 open mic opertunity but from what the host has said is they only ever have music acts and don't sell any alcohol can someone please point me in the right direction

Finally if/when I find something sutibla the part I'm struggling with most is introducing myself on stage and grasping the audience attention so I thought I'd add what I'm hoping to use as my opening joke on the night it's not the best iv writen but I'm hoping it will get a few grins and smirks and get me into the right track so I'll post it for you to all critic for me as I want to test some material but don't want to give my best away

Soo Last time I was on a stage about 15 years ago I got the lead role in the schools Christmas play I really wanted the lead role and was made up when I got it but in reality I was the only 9 year old fat enough to get stuck up the f**king chimney

It's designed to break the ice for me and hopefully kick any early nerves I have also it's short and sweet so I can get into some of my better material

Quote: Tommyc94 @ 14th October 2018, 8:31 AM

Last time I was on a stage about 15 years ago I got the lead role in the schools Christmas play I really wanted the lead role and was made up when I got it but in reality I was the only 9 year old fat enough to get stuck up the f**king chimney

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I don't get it.

Why would you be up a chimney in a Christmas play?

I can only imagine that you were playing the part of Father Christmas but I can't imagine that any school in the 21st century would be crazy enough to put a real child up a real chimney for the purposes of the school play.

Really ? I was Santa

Quote: Tommyc94 @ 14th October 2018, 11:32 AM

Really ? I was Santa

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Okay, then you need to explain that to the audience because, as soon as you mention the school's Christmas play, almost all of them will imagine it was a nativity play - and nativity plays don't usually involve chimneys.

If you puzzle your audience, they'll stop paying attention while they're trying to work out the puzzle - and they'll miss the rest of the joke.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th October 2018, 11:39 AM

Okay, then you need to explain that to the audience because, as soon as you mention the school's Christmas play, almost all of them will imagine it was a nativity play - and nativity plays don't usually involve chimneys.

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Sorry mate only saw half your first message I felt rather rude when I realised and yeah it's wasnt a real chimney. I was trying to play on the fact that people would think it was a nativity for a split second I did think about going into more detail with it but I wanted to try and keep it short and more of a joke to connect me with the audience ino it's not lol good but a few smiles and smirks would be enough

You're doing the right thing in keeping your jokes as short as possible but they still have to be long enough to get the meaning across. Also, when editing material, you shouldn't remove stuff just to make the joke shorter if the joke is funnier with that stuff in it. The trick, when editing, is to make the joke as short as possible without losing any of the funniness.

I'd do something like this:

"So, about fifteen years ago I was picked to play Santa Claus in the school's Christmas play. I was only nine and I was absolutely thrilled to bits to get the lead role. They'd built an amazing set that included a chimney for Santa to come down and make his grand entrance. The only problem was that they'd built the set before they knew who was going be playing Santa. Why was that a problem? Because I was the only kid in the school who was fat enough to get stuck in the f**king chimney!"

I should say that I'm not a fan of gratuitous swearing in comedy but, in the case of the above joke, I think it's appropriate because you're recounting a traumatic experience.

I like it it's very similar to the other jokes I'v wrote for myself would you mind if I pm you a couple of my other jokes/routine and you could give me your opinion

Quote: Tommyc94 @ 14th October 2018, 1:04 PM

I like it it's very similar to the other jokes I'v wrote for myself would you mind if I pm you a couple of my other jokes/routine and you could give me your opinion

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Feel free.

I'm quite happy to take a look.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th October 2018, 1:13 PM

Feel free.

I'm quite happy to take a look.

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Thanks dude I'll send them over when I'm home there still rather ruff around the edges when I think of something that's funny I just right it down before it's gone out of my mind

So are you a comedian you're self or just a fan

Also do you no whether it's safe to post your jokes/ideas on here or can they be stolen

Quote: Tommyc94 @ 14th October 2018, 1:34 PM

So are you a comedian you're self or just a fan

Also do you no whether it's safe to post your jokes/ideas on here or can they be stolen

View original

I'm a comedian at heart but, these days, it takes a lot to get me out of my armchair.

As far as having your material nicked is concerned, nowhere is safe - except, of course, a safe. And even then you need an armed guard outside the safe and a Rottweiler inside, sitting on your joke book.

Ahh cool I don't blaim you arm chairs are very comfy I'm back in doors know so I'll move the rotttweiler of the laptop and ping them over I must confess iv not found the inbox on here yet

Ahh cool I don't blaim you arm chairs are very comfy I'm back in doors know so I'll move the rotttweiler of the laptop and ping them over I must confess iv not found the inbox on here yet

Sent my favourite 2 over mate

I'm months late posting this. Just felt I had to as the day you posted was actually the day before I did my first gig. Did you ever take the plunge in the end? If you did, I hope you are still at it. If you are you probably know by now how addictive it gets when you try it. I actually pity non comedians now. They are missing out on this unreal buzz. Posting jokes online before you tell them is a waste of time and energy. If they are intended to be used on stage, use them on stage. It is the ONLY way you will know if they work. Good luck with it all man.