I don't get the one about the crane
What Do You Call A Man...? Page 3
What sailor did ergonomic studies in brothels?
Horatio Nelson
(Is this the sort of thing people want?)
What man cuts bacon off his brain like it was a lawn?
Mohammed.
(Is this what people want?) 
What do you call a man who never waxes his candle?
Wayne.
(Is this really what people want?) 
What do you call an unbearably venal man, with no self awareness, a propensity for greed, no respect for human life, and an aversion to truth and democracy? ............Tony. Blearghh
What do you call a woman who looks like the 5th and 22nd letters of the alphabet?
Evie.
What do you call a woman who looks like the 9th and 22nd letters of the alphabet?
Ivy.
What do you call a writer who is attached to the 12th, 15th and 16th letters of the alphabet?
Penelope.
(Does anyone else not get the one about the crane?)
I don't think that Derricks are that well known.
Quote: Chappers @ 27th February 2017, 9:28 PMI don't think that Derricks are that well known.
Yep.
What do you call a posh bloke who is one fifth of an oil rig?
Tarquin. 
Some ive just made up.....
What do you call a man a long way away?
Justin View
What do you call a man who is often late?
Justin Time
And whose his mate?
Harry Up
What do you call a man with a huge appendage?
Ivor Biggen
Which call a man who sits on your table at the end of your meal?
Bill
What do you call a man who tells you your ass looks big in that dress?
Frank or Frank Lee
What do you call a woman who keeps farting?
Wendy
What do you call a bossy waiter?
Sid Down
What do you call a remainer Prime Minister working on a brexit deal?
Theresa May or Theresa May Not
What do you call a Chinese woman stuck to the counter in a takeaway?
Ming Yu
What do you call the waitress in a restaurant when ordering your wine?
Celeste
What do you call a respectful man?
Kurt Eos
What do you call a psychopath woman?
Diana Die
What do you call a man lying in the mud?
Pete
What do you call a woman hanging for church spire?
Belle
What do you call the man in the gravy adverts?
Norman
What you call an annoying mate that shows off?
Dan That
What do you call that mate that rushes and never finishes anything?
Arthur Job
What do you call that mate that lies and exaggerates?
Frank Lee Absurd
What do you call that girl that runs her own beauty salon?
Tanya body
What do you call an old girl standing in a field surrounded by graves?
Abbie
What do you call an old girl standing in field surrounded by graves on a windy day?
Abigail
What do you call that woman that sings at Christmas?
Carol
Whose her prickly friend?
Holly
What's the name of the estate agent that sold you the house?
Yolanda Now
... and her friend who was pushing her car?
Eve Ho
Some of those are very good.
Some of those are very old.
Welcome to the site. 
(Repeat) What do you call a Spaniard who can't locate his automobile? Carloss.
What do you call a man who posts on here for years then flounces off?
Herc.
(checking to see if he lurks)
What do you call a man that mows lawns as his primary source of income?
Mo Wing.
What do you call a Norwegian with no sense of humour? Olaf.
...who does bugger all worthwhile for 48 years but people still adore him? Paul McCartney.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 27th September 2018, 10:16 AM...who does bugger all worthwhile for 48 years but people still adore him? Paul McCartney.
Naw, naw, naw. Not 48 years. He's the greatest.