Hi there
I'm a real newbie to sketch writing, but I'm really interested in comedy writing. I wrote this sketch, I'm hoping to work with another writer to create a couple other sketches for a festival. Wondering whether I'm on the right track though, constructive feedback appreciated:
What would Britney do?
Dominic: Hi! How are you? (Sat down at the bar)
Kelly: Hiya, good thanks, how it going?
Dominic starts eating some nuts starts to choke
Kelly: Oh you alright?
Dominic: Hit me baby one more time
Kelly pats him on the back and he eventually stops choking and composes himself
Dominic: Well, Say hello to the guy that I am!
Kelly: Errr, I just did...
Dominic: You sure did! You got that something, what can I do?
Kelly: Not much I guess (looks at his drink) what are you having?
Dominic: Just a larger, gimme, gimme more in the words of the lady above...
Kelly: Oh! That's quite modern, you think God is a woman?
Dominic: Oh I'm not talking about God, I'm talking about a Goddess, Britney Spears of course.
Kelly: Ok....?
Dominic: She's a Goddess guiding me through life, I follow her doctrines too...
Kelly: Her doctrines?
Dominic: Her songs!
Kelly: Well, she is pretty and I do like some of her songs but...
Dominic: They're just so beautiful and real, every one of them. She came to me once in a dream, I was awake and it was the most beautiful dream I've ever had, she told me that she'll show me the way. She's the only one who can tell me about my destiny, everyone else? I say no!
Kelly: A daydream told you?
Dominic: She was as vivid as you and me, I mean I was extremely high at the time...
Kelly: (lets out a short laugh and smiles ) Ah. Well, I guess the fact I'm a pescatarian doesn't seem so odd now...
Dominic: You only eat fish?! Who'd do that, that's just utterly bonkers!
